Want to work for the BBC?
No, not the British Broadcasting Corporation. I’m talking about Brandon’s Bukkake Club.

WHO: You! Normal guy, 18+, lives in the Los Angeles area, able to receive head from up and coming starlets, masks ok (provided or bring your own), STD/HIV tested. Horrible compensation package but ideal for someone motivated by more than money.
WHAT: Suck-off parties where amateur ladies show off their oral skills.
WHERE: Los Angeles
WHEN: Weekly
WHY: It beats strip clubs and staying home.

Let’s get www.covermyface.com and www.spermcocktail.com resurrected!
E-mail brandon@brandoniron.com regarding "BBC."

I tweeted this. Hopefully, all the random losers per day will stop asking me how they can get into porn, and bother you instead.

Still photographer needed, Gia. Also, a still photographer/fluffer. Pay is the same for both jobs.
(Thank you for the tweet and putting the word out. You have more followers than anyone I know.)

Too bad Figgs aint around.

Girls interested in biting off more than they can chew are encouraged to apply, too.
There is a small bookstore on Sherman Way in Canoga Park with a sign in the window, saying "I refuse to participate in a recession." I agree. Fuck this race to the bottom! Porn is and always has been about doing something crazy and documenting it.
I'm bringing back 2005. Who's with me?

First meeting will be at the Starbucks at 7258 Canoga Avenue, Canoga Park, CA, this Saturday, February 15th, from 5:00-6:00pm. Drop by, say hi, and ask any questions.

Wow, Rick Madrid might get that big break he's been hoping for.

Will this be at the Dumb Starbucks?

I can't make it to Hollywood. The smart money is on the Canoga Park Bukkake Summit on Saturday. Come share ideas about how we can take over the world.

WTF is dumb starbucks? nevermind.

Brandon is probably renting a space at a storage unit place for the shoots and charging the mopes rent to crash there between shoots.

^^^A sound business plan.

If I felt I could do it I would pay for this experience and to have Gia on set!

You'd chat her up and dazzle her with your personality?

Bump. Make sure you come to Starbucks tomorrow, Feb. 15th, at 7258 Canoga Avenue, just north of Sherman Way. I'll be there from 5-6pm to answer any questions about getting a bukkake club going.

Good choice, Starbucks. They always have hot junkies in their dumpsters.

Many entertainment professionals meet at Starbucks. Screenwriters, producers, bukkake artists.

If it can be done in Berlin, Phoenix, Tampa and many other places, there is no reason it can't be done here, too.

You should do things like the WBC Church does. Be there from 5:00 to 5:20 then get the hell out of there.

Sadly, not a single person showed up to the summit. I think I overestimated the level of interest in participating in shoots like I used to do. Oh well. I tried.

Please do not let this be my last contribution to the industry. I am capable of so much more than sitting in a wheelchair wearing a straight jacket. I can, for example, also stand up.

maybe try starting your own religion?. every decent cult leader from ghandi to korseh has used the "i need to fuck your wife" line and made it work so you're already one step ahead there and you have the vids to prove it. just a thought...

Getting the band back together usually doesn't work out. Things occur in a time and place for a reason and revisiting the glory days is usually more a pleasant rose-colored memory than something that can be repeated successfully.

I wish you would have posted this before I wasted an hour at Starbucks. That was one hour I could have spent grovelling for non-sex cuckold scenes.

did you go in or use the drive through?.

I sat by myself at a table with several vacant chairs, foreseeing a lively roundtable discussion.

Crickets.....only crickets.

so just you, flappy bird, and a latte. how did it come to this?.

Did you mention it anywhere besides xpt?

Did you root porn on the free wifi?

My blog: http://blogs.pornstarnetwork.com/brandoniron/2014/02/08/want-to-work-for-the-bbc/
My Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrandonIron

Gia Jordan tweeted the info, too.

Like every good dealer, I don't touch the stuff. I hear it can be really addicting.

Look, I'm not going to lie. I've had a bit of a long vacation. Many years, to be exact. The last time I held an office job, there was a woman across the hall who used a typewriter instead of a computer. My job prospects are slim. The closest thing I can find for my male modelling skills is this on craigslist:

Guys needed for cleaning/party help (LA/north hollywood)
Brief Services LA is a multi service business that offers house/office cleaning, party help, dancers and other legit services in as little as your briefs/boxer briefs for our male clients. We are now hiring model/athletic, cute/handsome, boyish/manly type men 18-28 in good shape with a cellphone and car. All supplies will be provided by the client. You will be paid $75 cash OR MORE per job paid daily. If your comfortable with all types of people, working in your undies ( in most cases ) and like having fun on the job then this job is for you. Must be dependable and ON TIME!

Perfect part-time job for students or just for that extra money we all need from time to time. Straight men very welcome to apply (no touching). You work when you want without fear of being fired if you don't work a day.

If interested please send reply to above email with "i need work" in subject space and tell me about yourself, work history, a phone # and at least 2 ( 1 clear face pic and 1 shirtless ) CURRENT PHOTO of yourself IS A MUST!!!! ANY reply WITHOUT a photo will be deleted! We want to start hiring quickly! =)
Location: LA/north hollywood
Compensation: $75 minimum per job paid cash daily
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers

Can I pass for 28??

I'm also going to stop stalling and apply for this sweet restroom gig.

Need Male Female restroom Attendant to work nights no exp. necessary (Los Angeles)
Make extra cash on weekends!!!I need Male and female for nights will train working as a restroom attendant greeting customers, handing paper towels, mints, candy and other toiletries. Work will continue for every weekend. Experience is not necessary will train . !!!PAY IS BY TIPS ONLY!!! .... But A friendly smile and a warm greeting will be rewarded with the most generous tips. You will be working in a prestigious night club in Los Angeles with lots of oportunity to meet greet and talk to people in all walks of life. prefer mature adult with reliable transportation. Location will be in Hollywood or Los Angeles area.
Please call Jimmy for more info.
Must call between the hours of 9am-6pm. Please not before or after.
Prefer Mature 30+ year old adults

RED VELVET GROOMING
Contact No. Cell no. 323-915-9789

Can I pass for 30+?? Oh, wait...

Why didn't you try placing a job ad in Craigslist?

I thought I would use targeted marketing to get the really serious fans. I did not realize no one visits my blog.

Since you want to stay in the adult business, have you looked into jizz mopping at some adult establishment with private booths?

I would have to go all the way to Van Nuys for something like that. There has to be something closer.

Are there any companies out there who would like me to produce a volume similar to Elegant Angel's Massive Facials?

Brandon, I just got off the phone with Ashley Blue, and we have some suggestions.

-We hope you're coming to The Tranny Awards tomorrow. We'll be there. I'd love to shoot you and Ashley with ChristianXXX on the red carpet.

-Post your next bukakke ad on Craigslist

-Don't have your meeting during Carmageddon. The 405 was closed this weekend.

-We will come to the meeting. We are interested in the process and want you to succeed.

-Start a kickstarter. Ashley said she'd give some money.

Gia is like the den mother to old whores and mopes.

Ashley and I just want bukkakes to live on.

The LA economy needs a boost from the Bukkake mills. Let the seed spill and trickle down for a growing economy.

Friends, I am desperate now. I have a girlfriend and child to support but no skills to earn a decent living. I prefer to transfer blame to anything rather than accept personal responsibility for my actions.

If you arrange for me to receive an award tomorrow, I will be there. I'd like to get Most Closely Resembling a Male-to-Female Post-Op but I will act surprised regardless.

I need some good press to get my name out there again. My agent hasn't booked a gig for me in almost a decade.

You and Ashley better keep your day jobs. There's no way you'll be able to live on bukkakes.

This is a site I found that's run out of Arizona. They are making it happen. I know most of you would encourage me to move to Phoenix but I want to shoot something my way in my adopted land.

Post some nudes of the preggo girl friend.

The wheel chair has given me an innovative idea. Perhaps you could coax Daniella Rush out of retirement. Traditionally, bukkakes/gokkuns feature the girl on her knees in a stationary position with mopes positioning themselves for the dump, dumping, then jumping out the way for the next mope.

My scenario would take advantage of Daniella's wheelchair mobility. A wheeler mope could be assigned to wheel Daniella around to each mope, who would make his deposit and not need to jump out of the way of the next mope. It would also eliminate the risk of a mope catching the pop of the mope who is standing on the opposite side of the whore's face.

If Daniella has an automated wheelchair, you could eliminate the need for the wheelchair mope and simply let her move chair from dick to dick. I'm sure she has the controls mastered by now and would have no trouble moving herself into the correct position even while her eyes are covered in cum.

I have a slight tear in my eye, this is like "Habitat for Humanity". Ashley and Gia are going to help Brendan build a Bukkake house. I can almost imagine Jimmy Carter plastering a skank with his ancient splooge. The Amish can keep their barn raisings, this is much more important.

Fuck! It just now occured to me that Brandon has an "anchor baby" now. His troubles with U.S. immigration are now over. We'll never get rid of him. Maybe he will do something stupid like take the chick back to Canada to have the baby for free and the baby will be determined to be a Canuck, too...foiling his plan.

Rest easy, Bornyo. Your worries are unfounded. He just now has another option of places to go if the USA boots his Canuckistani ass again.

That is a wheely good idea.

This makes me Anchorman. Please call me Coffee Ron Burgundy.

Coffee Ron is definitely a blast from the past.

He succeeded me in the Slap Happy series. Now, it's time for me to honour his legacy. Who will hire me to slap Gia and Ashley? (I'll do Gia for free.)

I don't think they're paying mopes to slap whores any more. Primarily because the fappers aren't paying for content anymore.

Then it looks like I'll have to go the high-end romance route.
All I need is some of that hair glue that Christian Bale used in American Hustle and I'm ready for my close up.