Want to work for the BBC?
No, not the British Broadcasting Corporation. I’m talking about Brandon’s Bukkake Club.

WHO: You! Normal guy, 18+, lives in the Los Angeles area, able to receive head from up and coming starlets, masks ok (provided or bring your own), STD/HIV tested. Horrible compensation package but ideal for someone motivated by more than money.
WHAT: Suck-off parties where amateur ladies show off their oral skills.
WHERE: Los Angeles
WHEN: Weekly
WHY: It beats strip clubs and staying home.

Let’s get www.covermyface.com and www.spermcocktail.com resurrected!
E-mail brandon@brandoniron.com regarding "BBC."

I tweeted this. Hopefully, all the random losers per day will stop asking me how they can get into porn, and bother you instead.

Still photographer needed, Gia. Also, a still photographer/fluffer. Pay is the same for both jobs.
(Thank you for the tweet and putting the word out. You have more followers than anyone I know.)

Too bad Figgs aint around.

Girls interested in biting off more than they can chew are encouraged to apply, too.
There is a small bookstore on Sherman Way in Canoga Park with a sign in the window, saying "I refuse to participate in a recession." I agree. Fuck this race to the bottom! Porn is and always has been about doing something crazy and documenting it.
I'm bringing back 2005. Who's with me?

First meeting will be at the Starbucks at 7258 Canoga Avenue, Canoga Park, CA, this Saturday, February 15th, from 5:00-6:00pm. Drop by, say hi, and ask any questions.

Wow, Rick Madrid might get that big break he's been hoping for.

Will this be at the Dumb Starbucks?

I can't make it to Hollywood. The smart money is on the Canoga Park Bukkake Summit on Saturday. Come share ideas about how we can take over the world.

WTF is dumb starbucks? nevermind.

Brandon is probably renting a space at a storage unit place for the shoots and charging the mopes rent to crash there between shoots.

^^^A sound business plan.

If I felt I could do it I would pay for this experience and to have Gia on set!

You'd chat her up and dazzle her with your personality?

Bump. Make sure you come to Starbucks tomorrow, Feb. 15th, at 7258 Canoga Avenue, just north of Sherman Way. I'll be there from 5-6pm to answer any questions about getting a bukkake club going.

Good choice, Starbucks. They always have hot junkies in their dumpsters.

Many entertainment professionals meet at Starbucks. Screenwriters, producers, bukkake artists.

If it can be done in Berlin, Phoenix, Tampa and many other places, there is no reason it can't be done here, too.

You should do things like the WBC Church does. Be there from 5:00 to 5:20 then get the hell out of there.

Sadly, not a single person showed up to the summit. I think I overestimated the level of interest in participating in shoots like I used to do. Oh well. I tried.

Please do not let this be my last contribution to the industry. I am capable of so much more than sitting in a wheelchair wearing a straight jacket. I can, for example, also stand up.

maybe try starting your own religion?. every decent cult leader from ghandi to korseh has used the "i need to fuck your wife" line and made it work so you're already one step ahead there and you have the vids to prove it. just a thought...

Getting the band back together usually doesn't work out. Things occur in a time and place for a reason and revisiting the glory days is usually more a pleasant rose-colored memory than something that can be repeated successfully.

I wish you would have posted this before I wasted an hour at Starbucks. That was one hour I could have spent grovelling for non-sex cuckold scenes.

did you go in or use the drive through?.

I sat by myself at a table with several vacant chairs, foreseeing a lively roundtable discussion.

Crickets.....only crickets.

so just you, flappy bird, and a latte. how did it come to this?.

Did you mention it anywhere besides xpt?

Did you root porn on the free wifi?

My blog: http://blogs.pornstarnetwork.com/brandoniron/2014/02/08/want-to-work-for-the-bbc/
My Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrandonIron

Gia Jordan tweeted the info, too.

Like every good dealer, I don't touch the stuff. I hear it can be really addicting.

Look, I'm not going to lie. I've had a bit of a long vacation. Many years, to be exact. The last time I held an office job, there was a woman across the hall who used a typewriter instead of a computer. My job prospects are slim. The closest thing I can find for my male modelling skills is this on craigslist:

Guys needed for cleaning/party help (LA/north hollywood)
Brief Services LA is a multi service business that offers house/office cleaning, party help, dancers and other legit services in as little as your briefs/boxer briefs for our male clients. We are now hiring model/athletic, cute/handsome, boyish/manly type men 18-28 in good shape with a cellphone and car. All supplies will be provided by the client. You will be paid $75 cash OR MORE per job paid daily. If your comfortable with all types of people, working in your undies ( in most cases ) and like having fun on the job then this job is for you. Must be dependable and ON TIME!

Perfect part-time job for students or just for that extra money we all need from time to time. Straight men very welcome to apply (no touching). You work when you want without fear of being fired if you don't work a day.

If interested please send reply to above email with "i need work" in subject space and tell me about yourself, work history, a phone # and at least 2 ( 1 clear face pic and 1 shirtless ) CURRENT PHOTO of yourself IS A MUST!!!! ANY reply WITHOUT a photo will be deleted! We want to start hiring quickly! =)
Location: LA/north hollywood
Compensation: $75 minimum per job paid cash daily
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers

Can I pass for 28??

I'm also going to stop stalling and apply for this sweet restroom gig.

Need Male Female restroom Attendant to work nights no exp. necessary (Los Angeles)
Make extra cash on weekends!!!I need Male and female for nights will train working as a restroom attendant greeting customers, handing paper towels, mints, candy and other toiletries. Work will continue for every weekend. Experience is not necessary will train . !!!PAY IS BY TIPS ONLY!!! .... But A friendly smile and a warm greeting will be rewarded with the most generous tips. You will be working in a prestigious night club in Los Angeles with lots of oportunity to meet greet and talk to people in all walks of life. prefer mature adult with reliable transportation. Location will be in Hollywood or Los Angeles area.
Please call Jimmy for more info.
Must call between the hours of 9am-6pm. Please not before or after.
Prefer Mature 30+ year old adults

RED VELVET GROOMING
Contact No. Cell no. 323-915-9789

Can I pass for 30+?? Oh, wait...

Why didn't you try placing a job ad in Craigslist?

I thought I would use targeted marketing to get the really serious fans. I did not realize no one visits my blog.

Since you want to stay in the adult business, have you looked into jizz mopping at some adult establishment with private booths?

I would have to go all the way to Van Nuys for something like that. There has to be something closer.

Are there any companies out there who would like me to produce a volume similar to Elegant Angel's Massive Facials?

Brandon, I just got off the phone with Ashley Blue, and we have some suggestions.

-We hope you're coming to The Tranny Awards tomorrow. We'll be there. I'd love to shoot you and Ashley with ChristianXXX on the red carpet.

-Post your next bukakke ad on Craigslist

-Don't have your meeting during Carmageddon. The 405 was closed this weekend.

-We will come to the meeting. We are interested in the process and want you to succeed.

-Start a kickstarter. Ashley said she'd give some money.

Gia is like the den mother to old whores and mopes.

Ashley and I just want bukkakes to live on.

The LA economy needs a boost from the Bukkake mills. Let the seed spill and trickle down for a growing economy.

Friends, I am desperate now. I have a girlfriend and child to support but no skills to earn a decent living. I prefer to transfer blame to anything rather than accept personal responsibility for my actions.

If you arrange for me to receive an award tomorrow, I will be there. I'd like to get Most Closely Resembling a Male-to-Female Post-Op but I will act surprised regardless.

I need some good press to get my name out there again. My agent hasn't booked a gig for me in almost a decade.

You and Ashley better keep your day jobs. There's no way you'll be able to live on bukkakes.

This is a site I found that's run out of Arizona. They are making it happen. I know most of you would encourage me to move to Phoenix but I want to shoot something my way in my adopted land.

Post some nudes of the preggo girl friend.

The wheel chair has given me an innovative idea. Perhaps you could coax Daniella Rush out of retirement. Traditionally, bukkakes/gokkuns feature the girl on her knees in a stationary position with mopes positioning themselves for the dump, dumping, then jumping out the way for the next mope.

My scenario would take advantage of Daniella's wheelchair mobility. A wheeler mope could be assigned to wheel Daniella around to each mope, who would make his deposit and not need to jump out of the way of the next mope. It would also eliminate the risk of a mope catching the pop of the mope who is standing on the opposite side of the whore's face.

If Daniella has an automated wheelchair, you could eliminate the need for the wheelchair mope and simply let her move chair from dick to dick. I'm sure she has the controls mastered by now and would have no trouble moving herself into the correct position even while her eyes are covered in cum.

I have a slight tear in my eye, this is like "Habitat for Humanity". Ashley and Gia are going to help Brendan build a Bukkake house. I can almost imagine Jimmy Carter plastering a skank with his ancient splooge. The Amish can keep their barn raisings, this is much more important.

Fuck! It just now occured to me that Brandon has an "anchor baby" now. His troubles with U.S. immigration are now over. We'll never get rid of him. Maybe he will do something stupid like take the chick back to Canada to have the baby for free and the baby will be determined to be a Canuck, too...foiling his plan.

Rest easy, Bornyo. Your worries are unfounded. He just now has another option of places to go if the USA boots his Canuckistani ass again.

That is a wheely good idea.

This makes me Anchorman. Please call me Coffee Ron Burgundy.

Coffee Ron is definitely a blast from the past.

He succeeded me in the Slap Happy series. Now, it's time for me to honour his legacy. Who will hire me to slap Gia and Ashley? (I'll do Gia for free.)

I don't think they're paying mopes to slap whores any more. Primarily because the fappers aren't paying for content anymore.

Then it looks like I'll have to go the high-end romance route.
All I need is some of that hair glue that Christian Bale used in American Hustle and I'm ready for my close up.

I think you bringing back something like Slap Happy is the way to go. That thing still has legs.
Did you know some of the clips are used as hilarious GIFs around the intrawebz?

Didn't know that, no. The guys at Braincash are not keen on the rough content. I'm not sure where to distribute content like that. It would need a home online. I still have a great Debi Diamond dust-up.

I know you guys all rag on BI, but I honestly find him as amusing as fuck. He turns a phrase really well and seems to only take himself a little seriously. I mean, he ain't no Rob Black.

Scroll down to the part that say METAL! on this page and there's a couple of your gifs. Sorry I'm too stupid to post them.

https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Wimminz

Seriously, a few of my friends who really don't know porn (save Ron Jeremy etc.) have mentioned Slap Happy to me. They bugged out when I mention I have chatted with you online.

I wonder if clips4sale would host rougher stuff like that?

Think so. Why can't you just put them on your site?

The principals at Braincash don't like the rough stuff.

You should sell the Hookers and Blow concept to some cable network. Get Cal to cut a softcore edit and shoot some new wraparounds.

Joe Blow retired. He was the linchpin for the series.

I hope you don't give up on this. It's a long time coming. (no pun intended)
Like bringing back the Winnipeg Jets.

The Jets have cooled.

Brandon Irons alt ID #236. Why don't you log in as Rommel again, or Lord Asmus? We haven't heard from them yet.

I'm 45 years old. There's nothing alt about me. I'm not emo or goth or brony or whatever else either. I'm just a stranger in a strange land.

You are all GNOME.

Anyone have favorite gokkuns? Ashley Blue is here and wants to know.

I didn't see all of them, but 2,5, and 10 were pretty good, as I remember.

11 w/Sasha Knox. Ouch.

Maybe KDE or Unity. I don't know.

Friends, my problems are on their way to being solved thanks, in part, to a guy who bought my worn shoes and socks. It saved me laundry money and reaffirmed my worth as a man who can provide for his family.

I'd count Sasha Knox's first American Bukkake as a gokkun, since she swallowed it all,before there was American Gokkun. I think it was the hottest one.
Her actual gokkun scene was ruined by the dog barking theme. If she was just her cum craving self it would have been the best.
I'd say Bailey Brooks was really hot in her scene. Chelsie Rae and Keeani were great too. And I can't leave out Hailey Young. Those ones stand out for me.

Both Keeani and Chelsea Rae's husbands were there. They had tests and joined in the end of the bukakke line up. :barf:

Did these two husbands fall under the heading of "Suitecase Pimp"? I would think that only a husband who is also a suitcase pimp would be willing to watch his wife do a gokkun.

^^ That might become the acid test for "suitcase pimpiness" of porn husbands. If your husband drops you off at a gokkun and after the 50-100 citizens of LA spurt their seed across your face, your husband adds to the pile as a rejoinder, you can confidently say he is a full-bore suitcase pimp and not so much a husband.

Keeani's husband was a regular bukkake/blowbang mope. He did stuff with and without her being involved. Same goes for Nikki Hunter's man.

Why don't you get the guy from Bands Reunited? With sex offenders and convicts details available online, he can surely get a posse together?

From what BI tells me, no. They're all easy to find but none want to get back into that stuff. I keep in touch with one or two guys from that group and they have no interest in doing it again.

Nothing says "I really don't want to have a job, so I'd rather mooch off you" as a man than subjugating yourself to such bottom of the suitcase pimp hierarchy.

at the same time dude was bringing something to the party and leaving with two checks. fuckups like knox had to be in line at the soup kitchen talking about that guy like he was warren buffett.

True. Ryan was very envious of those guys.

I can't find the original full-size pic, but Brian Plus One fits the bill perfectly.

I think they should re-release the Bukkake and Gokkun series with it's original audio. They butchered these with their terrible attempt at looping audio clips over all the noise and direction. The editor didn't even take the time to choose a clean clip, so you hear this repetitive sound over and over again. It would be interesting to me to just hear it how it was, even if it gives something away.
They are repackaging this stuff over and over again anyway.

On another note, these husbands could just be cool with having a total cumslut as a wife. I know a couple that has regular bukkake parties for their own enjoyment, and even includes drinking accumulated frozen cum from some of the guys.
I mean really, once you have a girlfriend that needs to drink a huge bowl of cum, you kinda have to let her.

Nothing beats the insanity of the fight that broke out during the Trisha Ray gokkun. Fists were flying and the bukkake brotherhood was torn asunder when Dr. King's vision of racial harmony failed to materialize.

Trisha looked like a pelican with a mouthful of fish she couldn't swallow and chaos ruled. No audio edits were made and it was bukkake bronze, if not comedy gold.

My favorite Gokkuns are Chelsie Rae, Hailey Youngs cum bong, Bailey Brooks, Sasha Knox, Cindy Crawford, Ami Emerson and Kandi Milan. Bring it back!

As for Brandons Summit, cant we just get in touch with most of the original Bukkake mopes? Most were regulars, make sure Korin is there too!

And also of any guy who can get and/or maintain wood, any guy who's never been pissed on by a huge black bitch on camera, and any guy who's never been on the jobber side of a soup kitchen

I envy no one. You whore-faced scalliwag. What are you like 50 now?