Meh. He'll only clean her out only to plug her back up with worse shit than she already eats.

Bang IDK. I had more than a couple male IU students work for me over the years. Given some of their stories I don't believe Ms Hayes would find much work there intercourse wise. I mean why would you pay to bang her when there are many corn fed midwestern girls there away from home for the first time. But the old whore may well be put through her paces other ways.

She needs to embrace her sixties, claiming she is 59 for several years is a sad variant of the old Jack Benny joke. She needs to learn some rudimentary German and head overseas to Deutschland and be a big star in Oma piss porn. Golden shower Grannies.

She'd do well in Oma porn, although the Hungarian grannies have that market sewn up.

Unpredictable Granny - she is trekking north.

Twitter-
Dana Hayes ‏@danahayesxxx 1h1 hour ago
Beautiful day in Minnesota .Dana Hayes
...

Dana Hayes ‏@danahayesxxx May 1
Hello ..any fans in Minnesota,?
Bookings danahayesxxx@hotmail.com

...



Turns out the Bloomington in question is Bloomington, MN.

Looks like the Luvinlioness made it Richfield/Bloomington, Minnesota, right outside Minneapolis-St. Paul. No FB posts or Tweets declaring an emergency, so she must be luring those classy gents to her Toyota. Lucky, your salad days are back!

Enough money to show up on Backpage, no less.

she got a new escort review!

"I have been wanting to meet her for a long time. She just has the look of a woman who will enjoy you. She looks like her pics and she still sexy as ever. This review is late but I have to say I am glad I seen this woman. I will definitely repeat. Set up was easy and painless. "


hmmmm, something a bit vague and fishy...

and long ago. he could have seen her in 2006 from that review

We really do need new pictures of the dame. Especially pictures that aren't taken by law enforcement or a john with a shaky hand.

its quiet, a little too quiet....

Quite so. Twitter and FB are silent. Nothing on Humaniplex (which I guess is only CA-based). No record of arrests with the Hennepin County Sheriff's office, which includes her last known whereabouts (Richfield, MN). I hope she's not stuffed into a foot locker.

The Luvinlioness is running silent and deep! No sightings at any ports of call!

She must be busy, though. Two hobbyists/classy gents give their reviews on TER (recent, April):

Another post that wouldn't go through. I was hoping I could quote it and maybe fix the characters like Steezo suggested in AWOP, but no dice. I figured maybe it would work the way you can preview posts that will blank before you click submit.


Edit: looks like you screencapped it

I had to screencap some material. When I try posting copy from other sites or words with special characters this software goes haywire and wipes out the entire entry.

It's a recurring problem. Sometimes you can't even c/p within the same damn thread, with or without special characters.

We tried to start fixing this, but some paranoid types froke the fuck out about it.

God I wish I knew the juicy details of those reviews.

I wonder if she will make her way back to California or if this is the Luvinlioness's farewell tour. I don't think the market for 60-70 year-old escorts and pornstars is what it used to be. Those may be some of the very last reviews published about her charms.

If she stays in the Midwest, she would be consider svelte, busty or 'with some meat on her bones' by the local classy johns gentlemen and that is an attractive quality. In California she is just fat. Maybe she has found a large yard for Lucky and a gentle, kindly gentlemen farmer to keep her. Swap Mercedes SUV with a 4x4 tricked-out pickup truck, a fancy split-level house with a fancifully decorated ranch house with horseshoe ornaments galore. Rustic surroundings for the rusty Luvinlioness.

Unfortunately for you Bluecipher, there probably won't be a new video with Dana being orally and anally sodomized by negro convicts.

I'm a "Midwesterner" and she's just fat. Add to that the sound of her voice is really annoying and I find not much stroke value there. I guess being in the mid-west there's always the farm animals thing. Dana Does the Dairyland......

She went full negro too early in her career (probably her second vid).

This scene wrecked her career...


Its only saving grace is that there was no anal.

I like that: full negro. Are there any other similar modifiers: half negro, quarter negro? If so, how would they be defined? Would we have to know the convict's lineage? How much miscegeny would be needed in the family tree. Or is not a racial thing but a attitude/societal one: full negro: black gangsta/thuggery, half negro: Urkel and quarter negro: Lightnin' from my show: Amos n' Andy

I'm still holding out for teh Dana Hayes docu-drama. I want to know everyone's choices of casting for the parts, which I assume will not include the luvlioness herself.

Main characters:

Dana
Her Mom
Her Sister
The dude who ran the resort in Mexico
The first director she shot for
Whoever hooked her up with HPlex
At least 3 johns
and of course a dog to play Lucky.

I am assuming you want known actors (not mopes/whores) cast in the docu-drama. If so, do they have to be living or is this a fantasy casting where we can choose people from any point in movie and television history.

I may have gotten it wrong. The concept would refer to the extent of interaction with a brutha. Full-negro would probably consist of the Luvinlioness facing a pack of parolees in a gangbang with at least one DP. No holes barred. Half-negro would be a regular scene involving a negro, which would probably characterize most if not all of her IR scenes. To be fair, once she took a negro up the poop shoot, you might as well consider that having gone beyond the call of duty and gone full negro.

You would need more antagonists for heightened dramatic tension. Add a few of her sister escorts who've borrowed money and taken off, or left her stranded in some motel without paying their part of the bill, etc. One or two sheriff deputies, too, for her Reno adventures. Lucky would deserve having a female dog love interest (a poodle), as a foil to his mistress's station. In act III, you leave a loaded pistol on a table, next to a half-empty bottle of gin and a dirty tooth glass.

If it's the latter, it would have to be Bea Arthur as the Lioness, hands down.

How about Kate England for a younger rendition of Dana?

Kate England would have to play Dana the dancer/dance teacher only. She might get to plumb the depths of Dana's humanity and flesh out the Mom-Sis-Dana triangle of misunderstandings, petty slights, and loathing.
If we assume the Lioness started banging freelance back in 1996, when she says her world turned to shit (no dates since 1996!) she would have been 42 or so. She may have been escorting in her early 40s. Kate might pull that off. For early noughts Dana - I think her first porn scenes are from 2003 or so- when she would have been in her late 40s, we would definitely need Bea Arthur for the part.

Hmm, I hadn't thought of it that way. I suppose I'd like to see it made as a contemporary indie, so I guess the actors would have to be alive.

As for the plot, still wide open. I originally thought it could start with Dana and Lucky in their car getting ready to leave L.A. for Canada. Along the way, we'd have opportunities for little vignettes of all her life issues. It would have to be under the guise of her driving to Canada to pay respects to her mother, who ironically hated her. And since it is Dana, of course there would have to be some scenes that might push this close to an X rating.

Just thinking out loud.

Is there a mature mainstream actress that looks like Bea Arthur or Dana? Perhaps Olympia Dukakis?

In other news, I think I jinxed the old girl.



Any physicians here?

She'd have to pull a Deniro and pack on a minimum of 25-30 lbs for the role. Or you could simply cast the whore who sodomized Cryin' Ryan and make sure she kept her heels on. Which do you think the bargain basement studios are going to cast?

Too bad Dana Plato is dead. A role she was born to play.

--^ Ditto Marilyn Chambers.

I am XPT's fake mortician. I can only pretend to help after she has gone.

It would be most fun if some porno director made a XXX docu-drama about Dana Hayes, but didn't hire Dana Hayes.

I read Fred Stoller's book about being a TV guest star. He went to an audition once where the character description said: A Fred Stoller type, he auditioned for the role and didn't get it.

Was Dana ever young?

She was born washed up and shot out mature.

Your mention of Stoller reminded me of a book I read years back, by another Stoller. This is off-topic but porn-related.

Porn: Myths for the Twentieth Century (Robert J. Stoller, MD., 1991)

For our purposes, no.

Well, the sitch's deteriorating quickly.

We gotta get the screenplay going asap! Actors be damned, this thing needs to be written. There might not be much time left. Could we include a scene about Lucky's adoption and Dana crying herself to no end? That could be a good denouement to the "hole" story.

In my treatment, Dana reaches Toronto but by then her loyal Lucky is so sick of the dog and pony show that he defects and is adopted by a young couple that makes a leafy Toronto suburb its home. Dana continues on and battles her sister for control of their mother's empire, eventually gaining control of her mother's home while her sister blocks her from taking over the family business. The Luvinioness establishes a very discreet cathouse/sex club where she operates as the now senior dowager madam. In the last scene, she stands at the front door smoking a Newport, as the young couple who adopted Lucky drive by in their Volvo V60 wagon, with Lucky in a back seat, staring out the window. Lucky and Dana's eyes meet and lock for a second. Lucky looks away. Dana sheds a single tear, puts out her cigarette and returns indoors, to manage the girls.

I wonder what ails her -

lack of dolladolla bills yall

She's testing the patience of a thousand classy gents with her cryptic messages. Communication is not her forte or perhaps it's part of her ruse. She won't even say where she is.

Hey, Dana!

Looks like the "new" escort campaign is not going well.

haha what the hell

With any luck, this is her new look:

Yeah, she'd give "scattered, smothered, and covered" a whole new meaning.