Yes, Tranzer. I think he really could, with your assistance.

What you need to do is send an introductory letter to Tom Brady and tell him your idea. Along with it I would send two Turd Dazzlers (one for each) and the blueprints for your enema train. Also, send a sterilized mason jar and ask her to wear the same panties for a week, skid marks, sharts and all, and seal them in the jar and send them back to you.

Really, she'll go for this. Trust me.