Like cool rain crashing into hot asphalt, the thoughts hit poor Howard's head like a rollercoaster screaming into the final loop. High school. College. The bar scene. Online dating. With an exhausting internal sigh, "this is it" he thought. "This is the apex of my romantic efforts". He looked at the floor and dragged his feet back to his hotel room to meet up with his old friends, the ones he could trust. Mr. Oven Bag. Mr. Bungie Cord. Mr. Plastic Tubing. Mr. Surgical mask. And last but certainly not least, Mr. Helium Tank.