It's either that, or our impeccable comedic timing.

^^That one.

Every Single Calvin & Hobbes in Chronological Order here.

^ glorious. Fucking bookmarked. Thanks lou.

I'm a fan like you and it was passed along via rogans. I knew you'd like it.

BM'ed here too.

Guess what happened to the country's only unionized strip club.

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/arch...ip-club/279236/

Fucking Stupid Bowl coming to NJ, so now they are creating more laws about human trafficking, like massage parlor pigs are going to be the ones flocking in to make some extra $$.

http://www.app.com/article/20130903/NJNEWS10/309030017/human-trafficking-nj

Besides, according to their stats, there have only been 179 cases of human trafficking in NJ between 2005 and 2012, 93 of them being trafficked for labor. So that leaves 86 trafficked whores in 8 years. 10/yr isn't that bad considering the 8.865 million person population of NJ, its status as a shipping and distribution hub for the north east and the extremely high ratio of pervert to humans (as displayed by the fact we get 2 eXXXotica expos / yr).

One less AIDS patient.

Shit, you think that's bad? My backwoods republican fuckhole of a state passed an "adult business law" about three years ago that regulates porn shops and strip clubs. No lap dances. No alcohol. Dancers must stay at least six feet away from patrons. Plus all adult businesses must close no later than 12 am and open no earlier than 8 am. The reason stated is that "secondary effects" such as prostitution, xxx trash, and parking lot crime is enough of a detriment to society to justify these bullshit mickey mouse laws. I find it fascinating that enough people love Jesus that it somehow gives them the rights to make decisions on behalf of tax-paying adults. Good thing we have east saint louis. Illinois doesn't play that shit.

On an unrelated note, how the fuck is walgreens still in business? They fuck people left, right, and center, especially on prescriptions. The difference between a candy bar at walgreens and walmart may only be about fifty cents, but the prescription prices exceed twenty bucks in some cases. My two scripts at walmart are four bucks apiece with no insurance. At wallgreens, one is eleven bucks and the other is seventeen bucks. That's fucking insane. No wonder the state of Missouri is suing wallgreens for unfair pricing practices and false advertising.

http://consumerist.com/2013/08/27/missouri-ags-lawsuit-accuses-walgreens-of-overcharging-customers/

Yeah pharmacies are rip off joints, making great profits by overcharging junkies for their oxies and xanies.

One script I had was $54 at CVS for a 1 month supply and I can get a 3 month supply at Walmart or Target for $10.

It's officially been one week since my last cigarette. Kicked the habit with an e-cig juice rig thingie. Fruity nicotine laced water vapor. Next month, I'll get some nicotine free juice. I'm thoroughly convinced that I'm more addicted to the habit itself and the oral fixation than I am the nicotine.

Fartz, you ought to try the patch just for the experience of the dreams, shits, and gas.

That sounds like the ultimate teifecta, but dem patches be expensive, boss.

Is it a poisonous enema snake?

^No idea, cause - pizza:

Does it make you sad that person loves pizza that much and is relatively in shape whereas you're just a fat slovenly garbage dump?

^No

Who remembers these?:

Ecto cooler was the official drink of the fifth grade.

^It was either Hi-C or Capri Sun for me. Whatever my parents got what was on sale. The only problem is that my daily ration was of 2 drinks per day, which was not enough. I once drank all 2 packs at once and was thirsty for the rest of the day and had to drink [plain] fountain water on breaks because teachers were reluctant to give out hallway passes in my school

I didn't like drinks with food and they didn't have bottled water then. I'd get a small milk for 50 cents sometimes. I wanted Caprison cuz the packaging and fun tionality looked so cool, but my mom said it was too expensive if you multiply it out by 5days/ week. Bad enough I ate expensive food or last night's leftover quiche because I hated sandwhich bread.

The only time I drink alcohol with food is beer with pizza or maybe a burger.

I don't drink recreationally, but a good margarita with good authentic mexican is up there with slow, deep throat blowjobs.

Does that mean you only purpose drink or that you are on the Charin plan?

Panzer, did NYPD give you a random bag check today on 9/11 and find your vintage enema supplies and drawings for a new subway system with anal irrigation?

JB: Lhota v DeBlasio, thoughts?

I think one of them's going to be the next Mayor.

It means that I enjoy a good spirit with a good meal, but I don't get drunk. I never had a drinking problem, I just don't like the feeling of drunkeness and the loss of control that accompanies it. I like being high on substances that allow me to talk, walk, and perform basic motor skills.

My last bout of beer drinking has caused a gout [I suspect] flare up. My knuckles and some of my toe joints feel like I've been pounding a wall with them. Fuck fuck fuck. Getting old is so much fun.

I'll take the gout thank you ! ^

I thought teh' gout was from too much uric acid in your diet or some such shit. Like eating too much liver and what have you's.

don't try to interject science into his hillbilly belief system.
let him hate on the black bitches and beer if that's what gets him to his next birthday.

I don't get it.

Yeah, the liverwurst and the corned beef will get you.


CanHead

Need some advice here, tough guys. I've been on a vicodin binge due to some extremely extensive dental work and I have not pooped in five days at least. Don't really want to squirt water up my ass nor do I want to take a strong laxative that will put me on the commode all night. Any suggestions?

5 days is quite some time. I'd say go with a laxative, because it ain't gonna be quick and easy when it breaks loose any way. If you go with a greasy cheesesteak or runny eggs to try and free up the works, you might be stuck with that stuff floating on top and cburning yer guts for hours.

Whatever you do, make sure to weight yourself before and after the deuce.

Beans, Brother.

Supreme tacos and nachos with salsa and nacho cheese.

I'll prolly just bust out a stool softener or something or another. Back when I used to audit for Walgreens, a co-worker and friend came running into my aisle excited to show me some shit he found counting the drug wall. I can't remember the name of the product, but underneath the brand name, it was described as "bowel evacuant" and was some shit you were supposed to take before surgery. We thought that was pretty damn funny. Maybe I'll hit up walmart after work and see if I can find some and report later with the results.

One consequence of this stoppage is that my farts are insanely deadly lately and could possibly peel the paint off of walls. I guess this is probably due to the fact that they have to work their way past a work week of dumps on their way out. It's gonna be a fun night boys and girls.

Just regular metamucil or Psyllium seed capsules. You can find both at the grocery in the medicine aisle.

Just get an enema dude [and think of me while you're at it], and I will go and take a nap and will think of Thai girls while I'm at it.

Naw man, I aint squirting water and saline up my ass. Fucka bunch of that. I heard fiber stuff will just get working on what you're currently eating and won't do shit for what's already been sitting there. Supposedy milk of magnesia is the pain free route. Maybe I'll give that a shot.

Just fill the enema with orange juice or grape Kool-Aid

One of my favorite other sites, Shaggy Bevo (Texas fans are a blast to observe when their football team is losing.) has been hacked by someone or something called the Myanmar Muslim Cyber Force. As far as I know they have not claimed responsibility for kidnapping Patty Hearst. (or Paris Hilton)

Posting from the throne. Milk of magnesia did the trick for now.

Current weight: 222 pounds

Jesus...it's like someone opened the floodgates.

That was fucking intense.

Current weight: 218 pounds