For instance , on top of my dad passing in Jan. I get down when I think about the fact I'm aging and at what I see in the mirror. Not the same young face as before. I feel like I've aged 5 years in the last 6 months. I project that onto how others in public treat me. Girls that once were flirty and friendly now either turn their noses up or flirt for getting a buck out of me. The news depresses the shit out of me as well. Much more than it ever used to. My depression has manifested itself in a spending problem. Can't seem to save a fucking dime. I feel better when I spend but then have remorse when I look at my accts.