It's too bad there's not a Walmart near you. I read a very interesting article in Forbes, I think, about how Walmart pushed Vlasic to introduce a gigantic jar of pickles for two or three bucks or something like that, and that gigantic jar killed Vlasic's sales outside Walmart. Because a 55-gallon drum of pickles will last a family for a year or more.

Edit: Oh yeah, here it is. The article was in Fast Company, and the jar is only a gallon of pickles, which is still too Goddamn much. But, I bet a nice cool pickle up the bum feels nice, so there's that too. It's at least a week's worth of that.