On a serious note, I was on the cusp of turning my life around, finding an honest woman, and settling down. As this photo clearly shows, I was on bended knee ready to ask Jennifer White if she'd make me the happiest man on earth.
goodness me. who's your career counselor, ryan knox? at this stunning rate of advancement, standing in a chicken suit spinning a model home sign off the I-10 near cabazon can't be far off.. why not take the unisex wardrobe and car wash hairdo, go down and get yourself a confidence coach..?
this can't be for real. i hope and pray this is like that tyra banks episode where she dressed herself up in a fright wig and giant toy sunglasses from disneyland to see what life as a "homeless" might be like. then sat down next to a dumpster behind a chili's and they squirted eye drops on her face before cameras rolled. fuck that. you made the push south, start living a life while you have time. hollywood life expectancy is short enough without suicide by hanging yourself with your own entrails ala Machete.
no way this is real. its not real. do you even exist?
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