And Marlon Brando wasn't actually a longshoreman in On the Waterfront. That is the magic of acting, sir. Anita knows how to make you suspend your disbelief. She also knows how to deepthroat.

On a serious note, I was on the cusp of turning my life around, finding an honest woman, and settling down. As this photo clearly shows, I was on bended knee ready to ask Jennifer White if she'd make me the happiest man on earth. She chose dozens of men over me instead. Once again, the football has been moved just as I was about to kick it.