Well, through terrible life changes, basic starvation, and a near constant state of panic and worry I have lost 36 fucking pounds since about July 3rd. I expect to be in my target weight and deep into the recesses of an eating disorder by December.

So if you're looking to lose weight quick, induce a nervous breakdown/deep state of depression by having something drastic happen to you. Bankrupt yourself, play in traffic, kill a hobo, etc. You'll be well on your way to a slimmer, sexier, and mentally ravaged you!