Do you remember a scene where you wrestled a snake?

Anita Blonde was in it.

ha! that scene was highlighted on a G4 show once..

found it...
http://forum.jerkoffzone.net/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=325443

http://youtu.be/mJ4SoNj0UGs

Being called the "worst" makes me the best at being the worst. Makes me feel good.

Would you like to wrestle my trouser snake, Gia?

Brandon: "I wrestle a snake every time I drop my pants"

Garden gnomes and lawn jockeys have to deal with snakes on a regular basis.

Yet still they are standing. Upright. With dignity intact.

It was on some "stupid videos" clip show on TruTV yesterday. The girl was 3 heads taller, but he saved the fuck out of her from the rubber snake.

We laugh with BI, but he was presented with an absurd premise and he gave it his all.

Sasha Grey did The Girlfriend Experience. James Deen did The Canyons. I did TruTV, one episode of Entourage, and Fast Sofa (starring Jake Busey and Jennifer Tilly).

I would like to be remembered most for my work on The Jerry Springer Show. It showed my range as an actor.

Jake Busey and Jennifer Tilly?? That has straight to the $1.99 bin written all over it.

Jennifer Tilly has an awesome voice. That's all I got.

The scene was a fantasy sequence in which Jennifer Tilly was in a porno, watched by Jake Busey. Jennifer is frisked by a bunch of horny prison guards and searched thoroughly. The funny part was when the director yelled, "Cut!" when nudity was required and a butt double was brought in for her.

Tilly has great tits.

She's hotter at 50 than she was at 25.

Don't know why,just is.

It's because, Fitzgerald notwithstanding, sometimes there are second acts in American lives.

Speaking of second acts, I'm still waiting to hear back from the producers of Fast Sofa for the follow up, Cum-encrusted Couch.

Question for Bi....

If you could start over and do it all again(before and excluding tube sites)what would you do differently and who would you have worked with?.

I would have stayed in Canada, moved to Montreal, and played foosball at Concordia in hopes of meeting some cool people.

That's a good question for everyone.

I think my white whale is being air hockey champion of Sedro Wooly, WA. Or going to Portland with Scott Casey to be his manager.

not buying it...
how would foosball allow you to express your obvious hatred of women?. and lets not forget your raging blow job addiction.

Because pro athletes find being a rapist acceptable ;(

I imagine thre are pro foosball players, but I can't imagine any of them ever getting laid.

Didn't Manwin start with a bunch of foosballers? I thought I read that somewhere. Which would justify BI's response. I could just be talking out of my ass.

I've no idea what foosball is, and I thought he typed football.

He typed foosball. It's the game where you spin the little soccer players on poles to score and shit.

Yeah, that's how manwin started:

http://www.geekosystem.com/tag/manwin/

that's just his psyche puking out a reference to his primordial dwarfism. too easy.

Fuckin Adam Sandler wannabe.

I think you mean Anita Blonde endured it. That had to be the worst day of her life. I guess she didn't know enough about American porn mopes at that point to have put BI on her "NO" list.

If you watched the opening seconds of the snake video, there was a clue as to my nationality. It's my t-shirt with the word CANADA across it.

OK then. I guess Anita Blonde didn't know enough about CANADIAN porn mopes at that point to have put you on her NO list.

Anyway, Canadians are just Americans who don't have guns.

If Anita Blonde can do videos as a brunette then I can do videos, too, and call myself a professional male model. My anaconda wanted to coil itself around that horny Hungarian, and I collected a check for my efforts.

Canadians have plenty of guns. We just don't kill each other as often as Americans do. You are a bunch of Yosemite Sam-loving, Robert Bales-promoting, Trevon Martin-murdering, Australian tourist thrill killers.

Brandon, quit wasting time on the dumb snake scene and get back to posting shit locker pics in the Honeypot thread. Thank you.

My public demands many things from me.

I'm not saying Anita Blonde isn't a horny Hungarian, but in the snake scene she looked anything but horny.

And Marlon Brando wasn't actually a longshoreman in On the Waterfront. That is the magic of acting, sir. Anita knows how to make you suspend your disbelief. She also knows how to deepthroat.

On a serious note, I was on the cusp of turning my life around, finding an honest woman, and settling down. As this photo clearly shows, I was on bended knee ready to ask Jennifer White if she'd make me the happiest man on earth. She chose dozens of men over me instead. Once again, the football has been moved just as I was about to kick it.

BI, you were # 42. Does that mean you put yer cock into an asshole filled w/ 41 previous cream pies? Did you eat her butt before you plunked her?

Is that Faye Reagan's ex homo on the left?

12 looks like an off brand germy steele...if that could ever happen.
11 must be what replaced ryan knox in the mope corps.

Nother question Brando: Are you that hard up for $$ or you that hard up to get quality cornhole?

I assumed the numbers were estimates of our ages. I am 45, so I smiled and said nothing. Every night I wash my face with Dove soap. It clearly works.

I was neither hard nor broke. When the production manager called me, I thought he said it was Betty White and I'm nothing if not a kinky fucker. Last time I worked with her, there were only 3 of us.

My favorite is the kneeling mope with the rockin muttonchops. If Doucheville ever needs a mayor...

goodness me. who's your career counselor, ryan knox? at this stunning rate of advancement, standing in a chicken suit spinning a model home sign off the I-10 near cabazon can't be far off.. why not take the unisex wardrobe and car wash hairdo, go down and get yourself a confidence coach..?

this can't be for real. i hope and pray this is like that tyra banks episode where she dressed herself up in a fright wig and giant toy sunglasses from disneyland to see what life as a "homeless" might be like. then sat down next to a dumpster behind a chili's and they squirted eye drops on her face before cameras rolled. fuck that. you made the push south, start living a life while you have time. hollywood life expectancy is short enough without suicide by hanging yourself with your own entrails ala Machete.

no way this is real. its not real. do you even exist?

I am not a number. I am a free man!



Wait...hold it. I am a number, it turns out. Number 42. Sorry.

And NEVER EVER shut the fuck up about it.