They sat in a booth, and waited for their food. ‘OK, here’s the deal. Steele, I need you to go and sleaze onto the receptionist. Bore her to death. Tell her what a major player in the industry you are and you’re here to work. She’ll no doubt call security. You complain and whine and get kicked off the premises. Knox, you just walk around the perimeter looking like a homeless tweaker. Try and climb a fence or something, get security distracted. We were going to get Rick Madrid to play your part, but a methed out Hispanic will get shot, which causes problems. When you two morons have gotten marched off the premises, walk north for two blocks and we’ll pick you up. Get you a change of clothes, maybe even a shower. We’ll have finished our part, and we’re off to a tiki boat holiday, OK? We’ll be dropping you off where we’ll pick you up from. Nice and simple.’ Knox and Steele nodded, it sounded easy. Steele was practiced in boring people to death, and Knox was jonesing so badly the crazy tweaker part was becoming more and more a reality.

They got back to the van, only now Dodgerman was driving. Mike got into the front seat, and Steele and Knox got into the back. They drove in silence for half an hour, the Miami streetscape flashing past them all the while. The van pulled up to a public toilet block. ‘Get out,’ Mike said, ‘you two should be familiar with public johns. See, I made this easy. Walk down the street, but give each other a 5 minute gap. Try not to fuck this up. If you do, you’ll be answering to bigger people than me.’

With that, they got out. Steele looked around and said ‘Dude, I don’t know. Something’s fishy here.’ Knox was too busy scratching his arms to give a shit, and said ‘Steele, can you shut the fuck up and save it for the receptionist. The quicker this is done, the quicker I can suck on the glass dick of love. You go first, it’ll take a while for you to wind up to full bullshit mode.’ Knox glanced around, parks were always good places to score, but alas nobody was around. Steele started walking, not looking back.

The van was parked near the office, the loading dock in full view. Mike saw Steele walk into the reception. They waited, then all of a sudden Knox came power walking behind him. ‘The fuck? I told those morons to come separately. Fucking idiots.’ Dodger wasn’t impressed. ‘Looks like preppy got himself some rock to smoke, mufucker is toned UP. Look at him dawg.’ He was right. Knox had to do a detox shit in the toilet, and lo and behold, in walked a dealer. After bartering for a minute, Knox blew him and got a twenty rock. It wasn’t meth, but any port in a storm. ‘Fuck it’ said Mike, ‘we’ll give them 5 minutes. Then we get the cameras.’

They pulled the van up to the loading dock, and waited. Out came a security guard with a clipboard, scratching his balls as he walked. ‘What’s up guys? You got the Bang Bus duty?’ He paused, looking cooly at the pair. ‘Do I know you guys? Where’s the regular crew?’ Dodgerman was prepared for this. ‘Nah dawg, they sent us because we gotta learn the ropes. They need cameras and shit, so send the new guys to do it. Always fuckin with a brother.’ The guard, who has black himself, knew exactly what was being said. ‘I feel you man.’ He looked over at Mike and said ‘maybe we should have ouselves a nice cracker beating.’ They both looked over at Mike, who smiled nervously.....’we just fuckin wichoo white boy’ he laughed as he spoke. Nervous white people were dangerous in Obama’s America. ‘OK, you guys got codes?’ Codes? The connect had said nothing about codes. Mike started to sweat. Maybe it was a set up. Dodgerman was on it though. ‘Codes? They said you’d be helping us out. Couldn’t trust us they said, too new.’ He handed him over a forged pick up slip, ‘They said give you this and you’d be helping us out.’

The guard looked the sheet over, ‘OK, looks good. I’ll let you in and we’ll get started.’ He turned around, walked to the door and punched in the numbers. As it rolled up, Mike walked over and stuck a gun in the poor guys back. ‘Alright, just be quiet, let us do our thing, and you’ll be fine.’ The guard nodded in resignation, knowing he’d be fired after being thoroughly investigated by The Man. Fuckers.

They loaded up, the storage area being an Alladin’s Cave of tech gear. ‘Just the cameras, the other stuff’s too hard to fuck around with’ said Mike. Dodger nodded, looked over at the bound and gagged guard, and said ‘Don’t worry brother, you gonna be all right. I’ll see to it.’ Once the van was full, they drove off, closing up after them.


Meanwhile, Steele had done a thorough job with the receptionist. As a SAG Member, he put himself into character by pretending to rock up to a party uninvited with no beer and a guitar. The poor girl had already made her quota of middle aged perverts that day, and as he regaled her with how misunderstood he really was, she pressed the security buzzer. Seemingly out of nowhere an absolute fucking unit appeared. ‘Problem Melissa?’

‘Yeah, this weed won’t fucking leave me alone, seems to think I’m interested in how relevant he is. Also, Sandy Hook was apparently a hoax. Plus, he’s looking for work. Can you please deal with this Clive?’

The guard looked at Steele. ‘Hoax eh?’

‘Yeah, just look at the evidence, the families were laughing, and it’s obvious Obama met the victims later, look at the videos, the truth is there, and if you can’t see it, then you’re Roy Garcia.’

‘No fucking idea who he is, but my cousin is an EMT who was one of the first responders, and I’m going to tear your fucking dick off and feed it to you. That’s if it’s not a hoax.’ He hadn’t even drawn his firearm, there was no trigger discipline needed with this stain. All the frustration from Afghanistan, his divorce, moving to Florida......he sensed blood, and wanted it.

He started forward, and Steele did the best Roadrunner impersonation anyone had ever done. He ran. And ran. And ran. The guard stopped. He’d have his satisfaction one way or another. He turned around, and the receptionist said ‘You’re one creepy middle aged I wouldn’t mind blowing. Step over here.............’