That does sound good. I had brunch this morning. Country ham and egg on whole wheat with tomato and miracle whip.

Had something called Raw Slaw at the Whole Foods in Chelsea. In the cafeteria section.

But...but...isn't slaw already kind of raw?

I've been hard at work lately and decided today there's much needed time in the kitchen to do some test cooking. So for lunch I made a light pasta dish. Some of the ingredients include olive oil (I brought home from Crete), tons of fresh garlic, sugar snap peas, chopped clams and shrimp with a brown rice and flax pasta.

Just made some of my world-famous oven wings. Got the wings at the Chinese market because they have these nice-n'-meaty wings that they don't sell at the standard supermarkets.

I had a whole wheat bagel with Tofutti cream cheese from Loving Hut. 7th Ave. More of a late breakfast. $2.49! I've really branched out in this town! I'm eating bread and stuff!

Good bread is good food. I'm sure you were never eating Wonder Bread but most shit-bread in restaurants and markets outside Chicago or the Northeast is garbage. If I lived in NYC I might eat bread again too. Down here it's seen as a conveyance for some equally unhealthy food.

That has to be the first food pic I've seen from you that actually looks pretty damn tasty. Is that Frank's?

I'm seriously surprised Panzer hasn't post a pic of his vomit by now.

Damn straight it is!

I also just made these fried eggs:

It's the version of Frank's that were 3/$1 at the dollar store.

Vegan mac n cheese at Strictly Roots. Harlem. mmmmmn awesome especially after I added cayenne pepper.

Omg this salad dressing is so YUM!

http://www.giveittomeraw.com/forum/topics/creamy-orange-avocado-dressing

I am not sure where this post should go, since it is 7am. It was supposed to be dinner, but I got drunk and passed out.

Anyways, I just accidentally made the best thing I've ever cooked. I recently bought a book called Charcuterie by Michael Ruhlman and it's about curing and smoking meat. I decided to make some bacon first, but it takes a week to cure. So, in the meantime, I made some whiskey-maple smoked chicken. You first brine the chicken in water mixed with kosher salt, brown sugar & sodium nitrite. Sodium nitrite is what gives cured meat that super red color and distinctive flavor. It is technically poisonous if you consume it directly, but if you follow a recipe it is like a magic ingredient. Also, there's more of it in naturally occurring quantities in spinach than there is in salami, so go and blow me before you pipe up and talk shit about nitrates.

Anyways, I brined my chicken for 24 hours, then dried it for 24 hours, then I was going to smoke it for 4-5 hours with some cherrywood. I put the chicken on, had some problems controlling the temperature and then shut my grill down to let the temps come down. My grill went out completely and I had to restart everything. After I got it going again, I cooked the chicken for 2 hours and glazed it with a mix of: maple syrup, maple sugar, Johnny Walker Black & cayenne pepper. Then I kept drinking and passed out for 6 hours. I thought the whole thing was ruinted, but my grill never got above 155°, so basically the chicken just slow-smoked for about 8 hours. I glazed it again and bumped the grill temp up to close to 200° to finish the bird off.

This turned out being one of those times where I made something that was above and beyond what you could purchase in a restaurant or store. If this shit was for sale, it would go for about $100 a chicken.

Steezo,

Could you please come to my place and cook?

Normally I would say something horrible to you in response, but I'm in a really good mood right now, so I will just say: Sure, as long as you bring over some hot white women for both of us.

That is a fine looking bird.

Thanks. This might be the best looking thing that I've ever cooked. When I glazed it the first time, I forgot to reduce the glaze, so it was kind of a watery glaze. The second time, I reduced the glaze too much so I ended up coating the bird with a candy shell. Normally this would be a mistake, but it ended up being a plus. It's a candied chicken. So this is a Whiskey-Maple Candy Smoked Chicken. Amazing.

I smell like a bonfire.

Who knew the trick to fine cooking was to pass out in the middle ? lol

For me, the trick to fine cooking is having a moment of, "Oh shit! I fucking ruined everything and it is all falling apart!" and then pulling it all together at the last second and having it turn out great. It's hard to explain, but it happens almost every time.

That's how it always happens on Top Chef.

Good to see the bird turned out good, Steez. I was worried.

^^^ Thanks. It got fucking devoured. I split it with my parents for lunch and my dad literally could not stop eating it. Every bit of the bird from end to end was cooked perfectly. I've never had a chicken sandwich before that wasn't at all tough. It was amazing. I actually learned from this experience and will do the next one in a similar fashion. I'll smoke it at 155° for 5 hours, then finish it off at 200° or so for an hour.

No he can't. He's cooking at Grandpa & Grandma Panzer's apartment where you have no business and are not allowed. Also your Mom doesn't let you have people over if they don't give her $1.50 for a blowjob.

Grandma and Grandpa Panzer will disown Alex and adopt Steezo likely.

Damn Steeez that looks like some sexiness!

Thanks, Gen. This is gonna sound a little on the corny side, but next I wanna smoke a turkey breast and glaze it with.... Wild Turkey.

Quite dreamy.

^^^ Mr. I-can't-quite-speak-English, you need to start erring on the side of saying too much vs. saying too little because no one can figure out what the fuck you mean most of the time.

Ah, Yoda-bro. It makes sense if you know about tritone's white girl of his dreams bit from whereever and subtract the eleven posts before it and not visible to me when I wrote it.

^^^ Maximum verbosity did not help that post.

I assume you are just drunk and want to bitch about something. Anything. Whatever then.

Constructive criticism.

BTW, drunk off my ass, I still always make way more sense than you do by a very wide margin.

So you believe. Someone else will do online sparring with you. I am sure of it. And you do not get the idea. A pity. Maybe.

I have no quarrel with you. Your pity is wasted on me. Save it for yourself.

Ditto.

Peace.

Chill.

Word.

Text.

Nonsense.

Jeez.

ENOUGH

Just made some gyros:

Sooooo....you made a "gyro" filled with ingredients you stole from a Taco Bell dumpster?

And with a pubic hair in the upper right corner of the second photo. From the looks of it, he was not too cheap for other spices. Happy digestion.

It's not really a gyro if it isn't shaved roasted mutton with actual tzatziki. That looks like chunks of some mystery meat and ranch dressing.

There are some real foodies here. "It's not whatever unless it has whatever in it". Altho, I have to agree on the gyro thing.

I'd guess it was some chicken cheese steak from a bag. Just typing that makes me cringe. Chicken cheese steak, BLEH.