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#541379 - 01/19/12 04:55 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
backdoorman Offline
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Registered: 09/01/08
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....and it would have been funnier if you said microwave dish ! nyuk !
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#541405 - 01/20/12 05:07 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2330
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Here ya go, BDM. Right up yer' alley.






While looking for that pic I found just about the funniest fucking thing that ever existed. It's totally fake, but HacksawJDuggan@Twitter has my glasses fogged and my asthma in full swing. I suggest you read, and enjoy. He's real racist and rips on everyone with a bunch of random "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO's" and "USA! USA! USA!" shoved in for good measure. I am laughing so fucking hard right now.

HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!









I am seriously in hysterics. If someone walked in the store right now they'd probably think I was having a nervous breakdown.















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untitled4.JPG (296 downloads)



Edited by fartz (01/20/12 05:54 AM)

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#541406 - 01/20/12 05:31 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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Pic = no bueno
Fake Hacksaw = bueno
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Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#541409 - 01/20/12 05:57 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2330
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To be fair, the pic was for backdoor santa.






How much did you read, jerk? I'm on like Jan. 5th and am bordering on a migraine from laughter. He just keeps going and going. He keeps posting about Otunga's tits. It's just too much.





"I like my David Otunga tits like I like my coffee, big, dark and in my mouth. HooOooOoo! USA! USA! USA!"


"Vickie Guerrero shouldn't wear brown. She looks like Farooq's arm and a Mexican pig roast gave birth to an old hooker. HooOooOoo! USA! USA!"


"Rosa makes me "Air Boom" in my blue trunks! HooOooOoo! I'm talking about jizz tough guys! USA! USA! USA! Air Boom also means farts."


"When Kenny Rogers said "you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em." he was talking about steel chairs right? HooOooOoo! USA!"


"TLC should stand for TwoByFours, Legos and Chants! USA! USA! USA! (builds 2x4 out of Lego, smashes Vader in face with it) HooOooOoo!"



Edited by fartz (01/20/12 06:45 AM)

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#541414 - 01/20/12 06:08 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Just what you posted.

I like the Haku one you added
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#541415 - 01/20/12 06:10 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Registered: 07/24/11
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If your as immature as myself, I suggest you take a few deep breaths and tackle the whole body of work. I just can't stop reading.

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#541416 - 01/20/12 06:14 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Here's my favorite one yet. I'll just add the rest to my previous posts to keep the post-whoring down.


"Time to get ready to have a classy New Years. Better breakout the red, white and blue Zubaz and some BOTTLES of lake water! HooOooOoo! USA!"

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#541526 - 01/21/12 12:27 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Registered: 12/09/08
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Both Hart and Akbar looked like they hadn't aged a day. They both died not long after.

The Hacksaw stuff is pretty priceless. Hope it's really him. I love crabby racists.

I'm about half through the ROH PPV. Briscoes/ WGTT was pretty brutal. Apparently their fans cheer and boo whoever they want. The Steen/ Corino match was a real car wreck. It wasn't a spotfest, but it was really stiff. I'd forgotten what a really great worker Steve Corino is. And the match was just so brutal it was kind of uncomfortable to watch. I was even hoping it would end cuz these guys were just killing themselves. In the fist Terry Funk/ Sabu Barbed Wire match, we were reasonably sure Terry was going to bleed out. But this match, it was more shoot than work. Brutal match. USA! USA! USA!
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#541602 - 01/22/12 05:32 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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It's definitely not him.


Fuck, Barry, I want to see that now. Ring Of Honor has become so stagnant and boring lately. They're not very good a building believable characters, and the MMA shit has got to go. Seeing a guy catch a pro wrestling style ground and pound while the announcers screams, "Lethal has to be actively defending himself!! Bennet is just pummeling him, will lethal last?!" is just fucking stupid. I know your supposed to put yourself in kayfabe, but this shit goes beyond obviously breaking it.

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#541627 - 01/22/12 11:17 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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It was hard to watch TNA on Spike followed by the Ultimate Fighter. It just threw the difference between kayfabed working and fighting for your life.
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#541682 - 01/23/12 07:04 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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I like how they're giving the knockouts more TV time. I'm slowly finding out that I wouldn't mind fucking each and everyone of those whores. They blow the Divas out of the goddamn water.

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#541690 - 01/23/12 09:54 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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The knockouts are wrestlers. The Divas aren't. Plus I think the Knockouts have an air of approachability to them. The Divas all look like models and put off an "above you" vibe. The Knockouts have good storylines. It's a really good group of them right now.
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#541699 - 01/23/12 10:41 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Did everyone have a fat kid in school that was called Bundy?
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Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#541813 - 01/23/12 08:18 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Not me.
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#541863 - 01/24/12 07:33 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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No, but we had one called "the fridge" as that William Perry guy was a big deal at the time.

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#541867 - 01/24/12 07:56 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Our Bundy was in elementary school. In high school there was a dude built like a little thinner than One Man Gang, but we called him Big Mixx.

_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#541869 - 01/24/12 08:01 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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We had this dude in high school that had a weird disorder that made him look like a 40-year old man. We called him "father time" and the jocks would throw change at him and demand he "dance". Totally and completely true.

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#542606 - 01/30/12 11:54 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
cqd Offline
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Registered: 11/27/07
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If anyone of you use facebook the Iron Sheik's status updates are fucking amazing.
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#542638 - 01/31/12 06:17 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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I hear Shiek has someone handle both his Twitter and his Facebook, as he's not doing too well these days. It's still funny, nonetheless.


Read this in Hogan's promo voice and thank me later:


In an interview with SportsVibe.co.uk, Hulk Hogan discussed the battery pack that he uses to help aid and control the pain in his back. He reveals how it can even stimulate his nipples and wiener! - "It's an electric stim you know? If the pain in my back is too bad and it goes to my head, there's an electrical current that I can turn on that will cancel out any pain waves; it pretty much makes you so you don't feel the pain. It's not a drug, it's just electricity. I've got like a garage door controller with all these buttons on how intense I want to make it, my nipples stand on end if I want to! And my wiener stands straight. It's much better than Viagra!"


Edited by fartz (01/31/12 06:28 AM)

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#542644 - 01/31/12 10:07 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Terry is so fucking pathetic. It's just sad. I realize he's the Hulkster and all that, but having his last few years aired so publicly, it's impossible to take him seriously.

I wore one of those electric deals many years ago for a back injury. He needs to turn his down, obviously, brother.
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#542652 - 01/31/12 01:37 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Did it make your weiner stand straight, DOODE?

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#542664 - 01/31/12 04:48 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Honestly no. It weirded me out when I'd turn it up enough to feel it.
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Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#542675 - 01/31/12 06:51 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: fartz]
LouCypher Offline
@
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Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
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Originally Posted By: fartz
If your as immature as myself, I suggest you take a few deep breaths and tackle the whole body of work. I just can't stop reading.


i'm no wrestling fan but it's good stuff and i actually know where hacksaws hometown is. eric probably does too.
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#542874 - 02/03/12 07:11 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Registered: 07/24/11
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Hogan's been on a fucking roll lately. He's pathologically lying left, right, and center on a variety of topics. He claimed that Lars Ulrich originally wanted him to play in metallica:

I used to be a session musician before I was a wrestler," Hogan told the Sun. "I played bass guitar. I was big pals with Lars Ulrich and he asked me if I wanted to play bass with Metallica in their early days but it didn't work out."

Then he goes and takes credit for the success of The Wrestler, you know, because he turned down the script three times because he thought it was "too good" for a second-rate actor like himself:

Hulk Hogan recently claimed that he was offered but turned down the lead role in Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler, which Mickey Rourke won an Oscar nomination for. Hogan said that he was offered the lead role on three separate occasions and noted, "When the script for The Wrestler kept coming to me I said, 'This movie is so good if you put me in the film as a wrestler people are going to say, "No credibility, Hulk Hogan isn't a good actor", whatever Hollywood thinks of me'. As soon as they put Mickey Rourke in there I knew it had a chance, and he did such a great, great job it relit his career."


Edited by fartz (02/03/12 07:11 AM)

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#542906 - 02/04/12 08:14 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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If he's talkin, he's workin, brutha.
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Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#542931 - 02/04/12 01:07 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Registered: 12/09/08
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He's like 20 years older than Lars Ulrich. I just can't see him hanging in little Lars' basement listening to Diamond Head. What a fucking loser.
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#543091 - 02/06/12 09:38 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Registered: 12/09/08
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Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
_________________________
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#543209 - 02/07/12 03:12 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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Article about the Miz fucking up.

Best comment on there, thanks to Joey V: "Wrestlemania 28: Sin Cara vs The Miz. Botch on a pole match! Alicia Fox guest ref Book it."

Botch on a pole....LOL
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543222 - 02/07/12 08:35 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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I haven't seen it yet but I guess Truth Killings took a really sick bump at RAW. Apparently Miz wasn't there to catch him. Plus I understand they're blaming Miz for low ratings of the last PPV. I hate Miz and would have no beef with his career ending right now. I doubt TNA would pick him up.

I think Sin Cara would win. Unless New Jack did a run in.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#543224 - 02/07/12 08:41 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jigaloo Offline
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#543231 - 02/07/12 09:51 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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Yep, looks like Miz bitched out. I might have to start watching again so I can see him in there with a guy that takes liberties. Where is that douche Hardcore Holly when you need him?
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543258 - 02/08/12 10:20 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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He's a kayfabe Commissioner in a promotion in Canada. I don't like to Monday Morning Quarterback actually work (unless it's just an all around horrible worker), but he really did fuck the pooch. Side stepped him and it looks like he even pushed Killings as he was landing. Nasty nasty bump. I'm no fan of either one, but I hate seeing a guy get hurt like that.
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Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#543261 - 02/08/12 11:30 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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Who is the locker room enforcer now? How bout the "you fucked up you gotta work this guy on house shows" guy? Does Taker still travel with them, to keep things in order, or is he at home?
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543263 - 02/08/12 11:55 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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I don't think that exists at that level anymore. To punish a worker by booking them with guys that'll hurt them just opens the door to unsafe workplace suits. HBK did that when he and Bret Hart had that backstage dustup. I think the punishment now would be closer to a de-push or a plain and simple burying.
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Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#543264 - 02/08/12 12:41 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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I don't know, its not like Holly was ancient history. And it isn't like they are booking a guy with someone that is going to break his leg on purpose. Just like a month of house shows against someone that works stiff and maybe stretches them a little.

You are probably right though. WWE, sanitized and soulless, just like their talent.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543271 - 02/08/12 02:25 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Bornyo Offline
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Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Some excellent wrestling articles here:

http://deadspin.com/5883409/remembering-...rs-of-bloodshed

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#543272 - 02/08/12 02:49 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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^^^^Good stuff.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543293 - 02/08/12 08:27 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Registered: 12/09/08
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Do you mean Holly roughing up that kid on Tough Enough a few years ago? I think that was a work to get Sparky over as a legit tough guy.

Layfield was a bully too. Punched Blue Meanie into next week at that ECW reunion event.

I've always heard of Taker as a locker room leader rather than a bully. He's the one who was the voice of reason after the Montreal Hart/ HBK thing when everyone was threatening to walk. As an aside, I think Montreal was a work, too.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#543295 - 02/08/12 09:22 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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Nah, not just those incident w/JBL and Holly. I believe in some of the shoots I watched and stuff I read, that if you fucked up, whether botched a move, injured someone, or etiquette faux pas in the locker room, they would put you in matches w/guys that worked stiff as punishment, like Bob Holly, or JBL/Ron Simmons back when. And the guys would just have to take it, because if you stiffed them back, it would only get worse for you.

Yeah, Taker was/is the locker room leader/enforcer, like Monsoon supposedly was back in the day. Someone gets out of line, starts crabbing about jobbing, hard to do business with, Taker tells em what is expected, and they know what the consequences would be. Never heard a story of Taker having to actually administer locker room justice though. Then again, Taker had that crew w/ Papa Shango, Phineaus Godwin, I think Yokozuna and some others that would have left you laying in a puddle of blood and piss if you lifted a finger to defend yourself while Taker was beating you down. There is a reason Taker never left WWE, and I don't think it was money.

HBK didn't leave because of money and the fact that he'da never had the stroke in WCW that he had w/ Vince. At best he'da been 4 or 5 on the stroke list down there. Plus he was making 15k a week sitting at home w/ a "back injury"/pill addiction.
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Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543364 - 02/09/12 06:07 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Bornyo Offline
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Originally Posted By: Jerkules
^^^^Good stuff.


Yep. The best written wrestling articles I've found, short of XPT of course.

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#543497 - 02/11/12 08:37 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Registered: 07/24/11
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There's nothing better than botch payback whether it's intentional or not. Take the La Resistance/Spike Dudley/Dudley Boyz incident from years back for example. Here Spike gets destroyed in a La Resistance table botch:




Then, at the following PPV, the EXACT same thing happens to one of La Resistance courtesy of the Dudley's(skip to the 11:00 mark):





Coincidence, or payback?

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#543498 - 02/11/12 08:41 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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I think the next time I have sex, I'm going to steal a line JR uses in there. "Who's gonna taste the wood?"
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543504 - 02/11/12 08:53 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Registered: 07/24/11
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Paralyze one half of your face, wear a cowboy hat, and brandish a bottle of barbecue sauce while you do it. For comedy's sake.

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#543509 - 02/11/12 09:25 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
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Ever see JR's wife??? Boatload of money gets you a Plastic Surgery Disaster.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543515 - 02/11/12 11:43 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jigaloo Offline
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Registered: 04/17/06
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His wife is
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#543527 - 02/11/12 01:12 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
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Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I don't think the business, at least at that level, is that way as much. When HBK and Hart had their "Sunny nights" dustup backstage, HBK walked and filed an unsafe work environment complaint.

Sometimes it happens tho. When Regal exposed Bill Goldberg on Nitro. I always heard Larry Hennig and the Crusher (I think) stopped "cooperating" with the Road Warrior and messed them up nicely. Inoki pretty much shot on Ali in their wrestler/ boxer thing. Fucked up Ali's legs really badly.
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Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#543575 - 02/11/12 07:42 PM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Barry the Pirate]
Jerkules Offline
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Registered: 07/15/09
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HBK did that because he could. If an Al Snow or a Santino Marella tried that shit, he'd been Future Endeavored, and Vince woulda spent millions trying to beat the case.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#543623 - 02/12/12 07:37 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
fartz Offline
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Registered: 07/24/11
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Help me out here, Barry. Didn't Regal shoot on somebody else in a famous incident? Fuck it, I'll hit google and see what I find.


***EDIT***

I guess it was just Goldberg, and from what I've read, that whole situation was way overblown by the internet hive mind. According to both Goldberg and Regal, Goldberg was completely lost during the match, and Regal was doing everything he could to try and lead him back on track, causing jaded fans into thinking that he was "shooting" on him, when in reality, he was just improvising and trying to salvage a match that wasn't being executed properly on Goldberg's end. Apparently, in Goldberg's book, he said that he got "lost" a lot in matches that involved more than his three moves.

Putting Bill in the ring with Regal was a mistake. Brad Armstrong, Jerry Flynn, Mike Enos, etc. were mid-level enhancement talent, but Regal was always recognized as being a tough-as-fuck mat technician. This guy was the real fucking deal. We're talking about a guy that started his career wrestling in fucking carnivals. Like, "hey tough guy, we'll give you fifty bucks if you can sucessfully out-grapple this man" type of wrestling. Putting him in the ring with an overpushed powerhouse with a limited moveset was just plain ole' classic WCW short-sighted booking. It's as if nobody even bothered explaining to Goldberg what a non-squash wrestling match was.


Edited by fartz (02/12/12 07:54 AM)

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#543643 - 02/12/12 11:27 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I remember watching that match a my folk's house. My dad was really thrown because it wasn't "right". It seemed shoot at first, but after a second watching, it looked like Regal just stopped cooperating. It makes just as much sense to see it as Goldberg freezing.

At that era WCW was doing on the fly booking, which could be really exciting if it played out well. If not, it was a trainwreck.
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#543646 - 02/12/12 11:38 AM Re: Fuck it.....Wrasslin Thread [Re: Jerkules]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
G-bug basically Ultimate Warrior w/o facepaint. Both, next to no actual skills, and needed practically nothing but squashes to avoid being exposed. Both thought the business needed them more than they needed the business. Both hated by workers that love the business. G-bug a little more personable and less nuts, so he got work outside the business. Neither one fit to tongue Lance Storm's yam bag. If Storm wasn't so damn Canadian and void of personality........
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Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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