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Depending on who you ask, syndicated radio personality Tom Leykis is either a breath of fresh air or a foul defender of the male libido. An oracle of psychosocial truth or a sphincter of sexism. His "Leykis 101," an academic tutorial on "how to get guys laid," alternately provokes gratitude or outrage.

THE RULES:

#1. If women think you're a jerk, that's good, because nice guys don't get laid.

#2. Always do what YOU want to do. YOU make the money, you decide where you're going and what you're doing.

#3. Never spend more than 40 bucks on a date. This includes buying gifts, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. Any more money spent does NOT help in getting laid. If anything, buy alcohol and get her drunk.

#4. ALWAYS make sure alcohol will be consumed on a date (no coffee or lunch dates).

#5. Dump a woman if you haven't had sex with her by the third date, otherwise she's using you for entertainment until someone better comes along.

#6. Never date women with a lot of debt (duh).

#7. Go directly from the bar to the bed (or back seat of the car). If she wants to stop and get food along the way, you're not getting any so just give her your number and go home.

#8. Eat a hearty meal before you go out on a date with her. That way, when you take her out to dinner, you just eat a green salad and save money. No woman wants to eat more than you.

#9. When you go to the ATM, look for a receipt with a large balance, then bring it to the bar/club and write your phone number on it and give it to a hot chick.

#10. Never tell a woman how much money you make, but make sure she thinks you have a lot of money and that she'll get some of it (though she never will, or very little!)

#11. Do not enter a relationship unless she promises to use birth control and is willing to get an abortion in the event of pregnancy.

#12. NEVER, EVER date a single mother. You already know her stance on abortion, she wont have one. Don't risk paying vagina money! PLUS, her kids will always come before you! Why would you want to be second place to some spoiled little brat?!

#13. Don't EVER date co-workers! Don't speak to women you work with unless it's related directly to work. Don't date them. Don't tell them they look nice. Don't comment on anything except whatever work needs you have, because you're a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.

#14. NEVER approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her. You won't get any.

#15. Try not to bring a woman back to your place. Go to hers, if possible. Avoid letting a woman know where you live for as long as possible.

#16. Never be in a committed relationship UNTIL you are 25 or really ready to settle down.

#17. Do not marry without a pre-nup. A post-nup and "during-nup" are also excellent ideas.

#18. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER answer the phone on weekends, especially Friday night!! It makes you look like you had nothing to do or no place to go. Set your answering machine to screen your calls. Then only answer it if it is one of your buddies. Weekends should be reserved for hanging out with buddies or for guaranteed sex.

#19. Even if you really have nothing to do, ALWAYS let the answering machine take the call. You're ALWAYS busy.

#20. Always know where you're going for the date. Never ask her--for two reasons: It is a sign of weakness. Part of staying in control is to stay in power; NEVER show weakness. Second, she will ALWAYS pick the most expensive place to eat and/or the most expensive place to go.

#21. If while eating dinner with a chick she gets a call on her cell phone and answers it - LEAVE. 9 times out of 10 this is the guy that she is going to bang after you get done paying for her dinner. Again, this is very rude and disrespectful. She should have her cell phone off.

#22. If after you sit down and get ready to order and notice that she goes right to the most expensive item on them menu, excuse yourself to "go to the restroom," politely get up and leave the restaurant. This is innexcusable behavior on her part.

#23. Keep a bottle of Tabasco sauce in your bathroom or with you. Pour it in the condom after you're done using it, in case she tries to dig it out of the trash and impregnate herself with it. It may feel silly, until you realize the cost of raising a kid over 18 years.

#24. No spooning, no cuddling, no staying over. Get in, get off, get out!

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