Here's some funny write-ups on a couple first round results. I voted for Microsoft, as I don't dabble in Apple products, and I fucking hate Microsoft. Bracket busted on that one.

Walmart vs. Best Buy was tough, because I hate them both for entirely different reasons. Best buy gets my stinkeye for it's over-zealous staff. Especially the front-door, receipt-checker idiot. You can be the only person at the front check-outs and they'll still stop you and ask for your receipt even though they stared at the entire transaction and know good and damn well that there's nothing extra in the bag. I know they're just doing their job and all, but it's a stupid fucking policy that does more harm to the customer base than the good it does for loss-prevention.

Walmart on the other hand, just fucking kills me. The staff is a completely fucking clueless bunch of unfortunate lower-class americans. Good luck getting assistance on anything. You ask somebody something and they just stutter and stare at the ceiling, than dissapear and never come back. And don't even get me started on their overall customer base. When there's an entire website dedicated to making fun of your customers, you know something has to be up. The South Park episode nailed it. Walmart truly is a haunted house; a terrifying, evil place that lures you in with it's bargains and makes you want to run out of there screaming twenty minutes later.


Worst Company In America Round 1: Apple Vs. Microsoft
March 22, 2013

Let’s end the first week of WCIA play by throwing these two longtime rivals into a locked shipping container until only one of them comes out alive.
In addition to all the regular reasons people give for disliking Apple — the iPhone/iPad’s proprietary cables, those devices’ closed-off, un-upgradable systems, charging too much for a few extra GBs of memory, its App Store being the sole market for apps — some readers took issue with the company’s spat with Google that resulted in popular apps being removed and replaced with inferior offerings; the seemingly endless legal issues involving Samsung… and Amazon, not to mention Apple’s alleged part in the e-book price-fixing scheme — allegations that everyone involved except for Apple has settled.

You could probably make a good argument that Microsoft is no longer Apple’s arch-nemesis, as the Mac vs. Windows argument seems to have shifted to iOS vs. Android, with a few Microsoft stalwarts standing off to the side trying to make the case that Windows-based phones and tablets are viable competitors.

And it’s that faded glory that was most frequently cited by Consumerist readers who nominated Microsoft. They are angry that the company seems over-focused on trying to crack a mobile market already dominated by two better operating systems. The launch of Windows 8 was supposed to be a game-changer, as was the release of the Surface tablet, but the operating system has been begrudgingly accepted by computer users while the Surface has been largely ignored in favor of the iPad, the Kindle Fire, and the Samsung’s Galaxy tabs, probably because half the device’s memory is used up by the operating system.

Meanwhile, the company is being hit with huge fines by the EU for shoving Internet Explorer down customers’ throats, getting rid of the once wildly popular Hotmail e-mail addresses, and though it pays big name celebrities like Gwen Stefani, Jessica Alba and Oprah to shill for its products, they use their iPads to do so.

It’s time to hit ctrl-alt-delete and vote!

VOTING FOR THIS POLL IS NOW CLOSED. CONGRATULATIONS TO APPLE FOR ADVANCING TO THE NEXT ROUND!






Worst Company In America Round 1: Best Buy Vs. Walmart
March 19, 2013

The first-round fisticuffs continue with today’s centerpiece bout that pits two big-box boxers to a fight to the death, all for the bloodthirsty enjoyment of WCIA fans around the world.
In one corner, wearing the blue and yellow trunks and trying to sell you an extended warranty, is the Minnesota Mauler — Best Buy! He’s had a rough go of it this year, losing head trainer and CEO Brian “The Dishes Are” Dunn to scandal. Meanwhile, the guy who got Best Buy into the game in the first place, Richard “Richard” Schulze, failed to woo his former pupil back to his gym.

So Double-B has a new trainer, who promises big that things will be different, but who knows if Hubert “Frenchy” Joly has what it takes to keep his company out of the WCIA octagon in the future, especially when one of his great ideas is to cut the return period by half.

In the other corner, wearing blue and white trunks and taking a smoke break just as you need his assistance, is the Brawler of Bentonville — Walmart!

It may be the nation’s largest retailer, but it never fails to disappoint. Just look at the latest American Customer Satisfaction Index, which had Walmart rated lowest in both the Supermarket and Discount/Dept. Store categories for 2012.

Meanwhile, Walmart seems to hang out with a violent crowd as we’re constantly hearing stories about violence and other bad behavior in and around Walmart stores.

These two pugilists are just raring to get out there in the ring… and then stare at each other blankly until it’s time to go home.

VOTING FOR THIS POLL IS NOW CLOSED. CONGRATULATIONS TO WALMART FOR MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ROUND!