Just the money and the white women. No way I could ever equal his racism and bigotry.

"I think I saw her in a trailer for a new Evasive Angels movie where black guys assault white girls on bikes and rollerskates."-jigaloo

Back in the VHS days...4 hour comp...fuck yes...3 scenes.

"Once you get out into the world --- people see BLACK. And with that comes something that only black men can understand."

---Tritone


"So with great darkness comes great responsibility?"

---Figgs

nice one frank...

If it was me, I'd be going up to the next dude that walked out on to the porch and asking him where to cop weed in my new town. After buying weed from him a few times, I'd ask if he knew anyone runnin bitches. I am a bad person though. - Game Ninja advising frankie figgs on neighborliness.

Thank you Barry.

"If you have to use a knife and fork it ceases to be a sandwich. This society is fucked." -Barry

"Not seeing a dude that comes with good references and can pay because he is black? Pure racism."

--Tritone, on the 150th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclomation.

"Hipsters are like any other subhuman group. Everyone knows an OK one." -- Barry the Pirate commenting on the douche that Gia is sitting next to on New Year's Eve.

fucking comedy^

Full curtsy.

But I did get to goto a porn convention while working for XPW. Carmella Bing gave me and Ron Jeremy a handjob at the same time. I got to share that with one of my favorite porn stars.-volture

did you watch ron while he was getting his hedgehog groomed?-frankie figgs

I mainly keep looking at Carmella. But some of Ron's spooge got on my pants.-volture

He's too strong, my shoulders are gonna detach from my body. And he has too much energy, cause he's so young, Im gonna slip him a Xanax!-reinfeld gypsy(reads better taken out of context)

A two parter from a Shaggy Bevo poster in a thread titled "Is Anal Overrated?"

I had a few girlfriends who would ask me if I wanted to stick it in their butt now and again but other than being a little change of pace it never did much for me. Mostly, I didn't like having to move as slow as a glacier and always being worried like I was gonna break something. Then I had a new girlfriend who seemed to be really into it and feeling like I could fuck her ass with a little more vigor I said sure. What she didn't mention was that she had colitis. Yeah.. I should tell that story sometime..

And a little later he does.

We were in a motel room and it's kinda dark and I get it in there and start to go to work and then I get this whiff of what smells like coffee and something else I can't quite place. Almost at the same time she crawls away from me in a hurry (later she would tell me she felt something running down her leg) and turns on the light. All I can say is that my mid-section, the sheets, carpet, and even part of the dresser behind me looks like someone threw a shovel of mud at a screen door. She panics and gathers everything around the bed that isn't nailed down and piles it into a corner...I hop in the shower.. and I still don't know how she did it or what she said but she had us in a new room by the time I got out.

Ran into her a while back and to this day I'm the last guy who ever stuck a dick in her ass. So I guess I got that going for me... which is nice...

shaggybevo still has the best football cartoons

All I can say is that my mid-section, the sheets, carpet, and even part of the dresser behind me looks like someone threw a shovel of mud at a screen door.

lol

funny stuff but that's a pretty solid "urban legend".

This is Quote of the day, not Essay of the day. What's with these walls of texts, explanations, and justifications?

"The problem with the "Golden Age" isn't that the girls weren't hot. Oh, my fuck they are. The problem is that after several years of being fed a steady diet of not having to see the guy's face right the moneyshot, going back and trying to rape myself to "Golden Age" porn is almost impossible. You seriously can't get more than 45 seconds and suddenly here's a closeup of fucking Jamie Gillis' face. Nobody needs to see that. If I want to touch myself to Aunt Peg, it takes some fucking organizing and planning. Like I have the time for that."

---Barry The Pirate

"@Count Jerkula

You could post the same comment as another person, but somehow when you say it, it sounds as if came out of a toilet bowl."

Someone talking to me in the comment section of another site.

They know ya.

"Thanks Frankie, because there's not enough threads with you posting tits in them."-jigaloo(in response to me posting tits in gias thread)

"I bet 3/4 of the single porn whores lurk here when they have their periods, so they have something to be angry at." - Jerkules

Thank you, Mistah Jig.

Originally Posted By: Jigaloo
"Now we're going to get a fucking animated pet pic thread."


"Over my dead body. I heard all I ever want to hear or see out of Frankie about pets when he posted about stuffing half a dozen poodles and chihuahuas down his sweatpants to thwart immigration when he snuck across the border. Frankie will not be shitting up this thread."-Bornyo

"Neighbor allegedly has a Mexican guy coming to check out the goats this week. I hope he takes them all and uses em as hookers before he kills and eats em."

---Jerkules (who really should stop thanking everyone who quotes him here. It'a XPT's QOTD, bro. It ain't the academy awards.)

QOTD is better than the Academy Awards. To be recognized by the degenerates and wack jobs that are my peers is a much more prestigious honor than being recognized by pole smokers and broads.

Thank you.

On Ron Jeremy's seemingly successful surgeries after an aneurysm was found in his heart.

Where can we find that quote?

"The broad with the pooch, I'd let blow me, but only while the dog is hittin it."-jerky

fucking comedy.i tip my hat to you.

Thank you Frankie, I try.

this is catastrophic beyond human dimension. as these women might be dead and slow-cooking in the afterlife this time next year it's time we shoved a few things out onto the table. Carmella does look rode hard, I hate to say it- i believe the term used was 'toilet sloppy' insofar as its been applied to dana dearmond before. it would probably rot off within a week of Admiral letting her climb it. and it sickens me the way i am still attracted to her - a meth pipe is a wish the heart makes, and no one knows the Machinist Diet better than meth dealers and christian bale. he's never disclosed how he got his body to go that weird way he got it - that's why they're called artists. and that's why we're all damned, damned to the broiler eternal..

i spent 10min watching the mariah milano 'sexy cooking' show for information on tri-tip and instead it was a flood of- i'll be honest, it was a lot of eating, and not much cooking. i think it's supposed to be similar to the Kardashian-like contagion where the mundane & unimaginative can be "wild & crazy" & never leave the house. for here stood a sweet woman of gentle disposition who nearly bludgeoned her babydaddy to death in '09 and she's shuffling around the kitchen in the fall j.simp collection with a sort of dump truck waddle like frankie shuffling down the hall looking for toilet paper and she's delicately moving plates around and its bite after bite! a walking garbage disposal with collagen basically. and all i can think is how I would pay to see this woman trip with a plate of nachos.

and yet, this woman would destroy me in the bedroom and is known to fuck like she has Rabies. Its RABID. you talk about a conundrum. you have no idea. -mark j

epic post^

Walsingham Montgomery Worthington III: John's Polish sausage sure taste good
PulpeD: John Strong's Russian, so he duped you.
J.B.: Panzer doesn't discriminate when it comes to putting some John's sausage in his mouth.
PulpeD: Look, mother Russia, no hands and all.

"Valentine's day is the biggest crock of shit, kick in the nuts, pain in the ass 'holiday' ever created. I'd rather take a red hot railroad spike to the eye than have to deal with this farce of a day, only created to force folks into buying shit that will either make your ass fatter or will look pretty for a day or two before shriveling up and dying just like the relationship they're supposed to be celebrating. Fuck you Valentine's day, fuck you hard in the bleeding asshole."-vizzle(posted in 2010)

"Anytime I have to play where's fucking Waldo with the whore is a major wood-kill."

--Fartz

gia jordan ‏@giajordan
I'm at Beverly Hills Audi and everyone here is so attractive, I feel fat.

That should be the Audi slogan.

And the cycle begins anew.