The Fame Whore shill has given me an idea. I may have to do an XPT Awards, for unique categories. Post Nominees in a poll and have the posters vote for:

Bottomless Gape of the Year
Miss Rosebud 2012
GILF That Don’t Make Ya Puke
Twitter’s Most Vapid Twat 2012
Prettiest Starfish
Best Use of Tears in a Sex Scene
The Tritone Award for IR Break Through Performer of the Year

Porn Blogger You Would Most Like to Hit With a Bottle Then Kick In The Teeth

and of course, the Highest Honor:

Porn Whore You Want To Chain In Your Basement

This seems like a daunting task though. It may cut into my time spent pullin my pud while watching Ukrainian Teen (legal) girls being faux raped in the woods. I don’t know if all the fresh outta high school girls in the Ukraine love anal, but the fact that they keep wandering through those same woods makes me think they don’t hate it.

I mean, its almost like a horror movie. You know how the killer always attacks just after the young couple has sex, right? Well these friggin chicks don’t know by know that when you stop to look up at the fauna next to a tree leaning at 45degrees, you gonna get faux ass raped? Come on, that’s the waxed teen ass fucking tree from the last 3 episodes I saw. Don’t you fucking tell me they weren’t rooting the internet and stumble on Ukraine Buttseks and didn’t see that friggin tree. “Oh those look like the woods on the edge of my village…..I want to go see if it IS the same woods.” Then 2 minutes into the wander, there’s the ass fucking tree, and whattaya thinks gonna happen? You gonna see a special butterfly? NO! YOU ARE GETTING FUCKED IN YER KEISTER HUNNY! POV style. Jeans at yer ankles and panties at yer knees.

How hard do you think it is to get a tree to grow at 45 degrees? You gotta plant it like that, or tie it down? Maybe I got one that grew out of a clump towards the sunlight and just gotta cut down the brush and other trees to get to it. I’ll take a walk tomorrow to check, but I’m bringing a gaddam knife. I aint getting ass raped on my own tree. Fuck that.