Fuck you zenman, fuck you fuck you fuck you. Damn. You spend years, DECADES trying to forget this shit, only to have some fucking cracker HELLO I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU ZENMAN MOTHERFUCKER bring this up again. Shit.
Anyway... I was doing lines in a club bathroom one night, it must have been 77, since I knew who the BeeGees were but Andy Gibb hadn't entered the picture yet. Anyway, I'm doing a line and the next thing you know I'm getting hit by a guy with a heart resuscitator--BAM, 12,000 v's right into my system, that'll ruin your night. I jump to my feet screaming "HOLY SHEEP BALLS" (that's the kind of thing we said back then) and the next thing I know I'm in the arms of this dancin' disco queen, she smudged some of her rouge all over my favorite white poly shirt, that's how I remember, and she takes me back to her crib where she lives. Now you're thinking, fuck, this is one lucky Arab, with a buxom dancin' disco queen, back at her place, spaceage bachelor pad tunes spinnin' from the hi-fi, and yeah, she was awesome, I was balls deep in her, I could feel the crabs tickling my testys but goddamn, did I fucking care? Just smoke a J and that shit would be like so yesterday, a little balm and it'll take the sting away. So we're goin' at it and I look down and I scream JESUS FUCKING SEX WITH A GOAT YOU GODDAMN SHEEP BUGGERER (like I said, that was the lingo back then, which you kids with your "dope" and "the bomb" wouldn't understand, ungrateful little fucks in your microwave diet-pepsi world) and I'm screaming that because I feel my soul being sucked clear out through my dick, this bitch is some kind of vampire I swear, and I'm really trying to suck my cum back in while she's pulling it out of me, I'm thinking holy fucking mother of God, stay in baby, just stay in there!
Long story short, five years later I wake up on the couch of some guy named Chico's house, he's eating with his hands from a box of Coco-Crispies and I'm in a band with these guys.
That's me, back row, on the left.
FUCK YOU, zenman.
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