Please discuss your experiences with hemorrhoids.

You need a more alkaline diet

You might need a tube of cream with the Man-Zan type of a nozzle to "flood" the anus.

Never had em, but I do keep a bottle of witch hazel handy just in case.

Are we so bereft of ideas on this board we need to encourage Panzer to be more Panzeresque? WTF?

Panzer would suggest a used hemroid cream he found on eBay.

I have no experience with hemorrhoids other than to say they taste no different than the butthole of the chick they are attached to.

From China.

by the case.

on sale.

scratch and dent

expired and/or tainted. I'm thinking a batch that accidentally got mixed with sand or ground glass.

At least the OP spelled it right.

^^^All true.

Is this what we're left with?

What we need are more porn scenes where crack whores lick hemorrhoids.

So says the bulimic who could benefit from a more cheeseburger diet.

Rhoid Rage?

None personally, but a friend once told me if they made a movie about his bathroom experiences it would be called There Will Be Blood.

Angry group this weekend.

Get a hemorrhoid, have it sliced open, and the blood clot squeezed out before the Novocain kicks in. Then come here and post your happy thoughts on the matter.

Ahh. Wrongly wrangled roids, is it? Righteous.

Those aren't the roids we're looking for.

Touché

I meant in general. But I have felt your pain.

Aren't there enough threads about J B already...????

Funny I stopped having this problem after I stopped jamming things up my butt cheeks.

Motherfucker came back. Had a lot of stomach issues last week which resulted in me taking a lot chewable antacids and several prescription strength stomach pills. The one warning they fail to provide is that some of that stuff will make the problem food in your stomach turn into fucking concrete. So I damn near shit a brick last night.

Within 24-48 hours I will once again endure the humiliation of having someone inject my asshole with Novocaine and then slice and squeeze the affected area.

I will then spend the remainder of the day with either a wad of toilet paper or maybe a maxipad wedged between my ass checks so I don't soil my pants or the furniture with blood.

What troubles me the most is that Gia probably can't understand what's so humiliating about having a strange man touch my sphincter, and Panzer is probably aroused by my description.

Step #1 - apply directly on the anus:




Step #2 - insert gently into the anus:

You funny Cossack bastard.

If Jason was a woman then I could issue a $500-value voucher for doctoral services. I'd also thrown-in some McDonald's coupons for BOGO FREE BigMacs.

I go them coupons. I was gonna use em for 1/4 pounders. Get 2 pull em apart and have a double w/ extra pickles. Maybe Sunday I'll get up early enough to get some of the BOGO McMuffins.

Are these the roids you're looking for?: