A real panty-dropper recipe: Chicken Kiev, just like mama used to make. (And no, Alex, there is no ketchup used in this recipe.)

Slice a pocket into the side of a boneless chicken breast (partially butterflying the breast, if you will), and fill it with a disc of garlic, tarragon, and parsley-infused chilled butter. That disc should represent about a quarter-stick of butter. Push it up in there good.

The key is to carefully dry the seam, then press together with a bit of egg wash. Dredge the breast in flour, back to the egg wash, and then into bread crumbs. Repeat the egg wash and bread crumbs to make sure the coating is thick. Then let the chicken breast rest uncovered on a plate in the fridge for at least two hours. During this time you're letting the seam seal up, which is critical to retaining the pocket full of butter.

Clean your kitchen up while the meat is setting in the fridge, dummy.

Heat up your oven to 350° F (190° C). In a small saute pan just big enough to accommodate the chicken breast, add half an inch of olive oil. Heat that oil up to just below the smoke point. (When you drop a bread crumb in and it sizzles you're in business.)

Now take your chicken out of the fridge and lay it carefully into the oil. What should happen is the oil will rise to cover the sides of the breast, but not enough to submerge the breast. What you're doing here is frying the crust and the egg wash in the seam in a race to get a hard seal before your butter liquefies. If all goes well, you can gently turn this over in six minutes or so, and cook for another four.

Have you got your oven heated to 350° F (190° C)? When the breadcrumb coating is browned all over, pop that chicken into the oven for a little finishing. Just plop it on the rack. About six to eight minutes in there will do. Finishing in the oven allows crust to crisp up (if you serve right away it gets soggy), and also ensures that the chicken meat will be thoroughly cooked. Nothing kills a good chicken dinner like undercooked meat.

Tonight's meal was accompanied by a fresh carrot-coriander soup (hey, there's that cilantro again), and mashed red potatoes. A little squeeze of lemon on the chicken when it came out of the oven finished the presentation.

When she cut into that chicken, and the butter came gushing out, I knew there was going to be some butt fucking on the dessert menu. And there was. Recipe for the carrot-coriander soup available upon request.