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#568626 - 09/23/12 03:27 AM Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest
BIFF™ Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
So I'm watching this show about the dumbest performers Fri. night/Sat. morning & to my amazement the Canadian midget & Anita Blonde were one of the acts in the countdown of the 20 dumbest performers. I wish I had a clip or link to share because it was funny what the panel was saying about the diseased mushroom from north of our border.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.

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#568629 - 09/23/12 05:41 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
I think it is the one where he wrestles a rubber snake. There is a clip of that somewhere on here, but a search showed me no results.

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#568630 - 09/23/12 06:13 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Uhhh....point of order. That was a real snake. Dave Hardman was bit and had to go to the hospital. I stepped up and gave it a smackdown.

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#568644 - 09/23/12 07:43 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Mr. Meat Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 1329
The snake bit is what you're internationally known for. I see that intro everywhere.

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#568667 - 09/23/12 10:31 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Rick Masters called me the Canadian Cobra Tamer. It was high praise, then and now. Not to boast or anything but fewer performers have been attacked by a snake than infected with HIV over the past decade. In my own small way, I am saving people.

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#568672 - 09/23/12 10:42 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
The Canadian Cobra Tamer, heh.

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#568676 - 09/23/12 10:48 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Snakes....people. I charm both equally well, I'd say.

P.S. The movie is called "Pussy Beat 2" (Heatwave).

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#568683 - 09/23/12 11:09 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: Brandon_Iron]
Walrus Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 11/19/06
Posts: 310
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
The movie is called "Pussy Beat 2" (Heatwave).


What is it listed as on the tube and torrent sites?

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#568691 - 09/23/12 11:29 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
"Best Movie Ever"

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#568708 - 09/23/12 12:48 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: have2cit]
J.B.
Unregistered


Originally Posted By: have2cit
I think it is the one where he wrestles a rubber snake. There is a clip of that somewhere on here, but a search showed me no results.


Clicky

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#568718 - 09/23/12 01:13 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Nathanial Mayweather Offline
Gay For Pay

Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 1045
Loc: Putting the POW in powerbottom...
what a fall...Well considering your lilliputian dimensions maybe not... Going from banging Quality Grade A Whore tail like Anita Blond to the shit you scrape up by the Eastern European Mas-transport stations.

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#568720 - 09/23/12 01:18 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
the economys a motherfucker.
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

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#568728 - 09/23/12 01:43 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12931
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Brandon should rename his site "Beat Pussy, Worse Grills"
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#568767 - 09/23/12 08:14 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Easy, Nasta Zya. I know you are unimpressed with some of the posts on this board. Your Olympic-caliber performance on www.loadmymouth.com will go down in history as one of the best scenes ever.



Attachments
Nasta Zya.jpg (331 downloads)
olympic.jpg (333 downloads)


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#568871 - 09/24/12 03:54 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Thank you to all my friends for not changing this sign to something anti-Iron.


Attachments
no on b.jpg (299 downloads)


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#568875 - 09/24/12 04:12 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12931
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
The t-shirts are better.



Available at TRPWL.com
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#568878 - 09/24/12 05:05 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
That's just like you, Jerk, to want to "measure B." No thanks, friend. Keep your ruler in your pants and I'll do the same.

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#568971 - 09/24/12 09:14 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12931
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Nah, your height on iafd is listed as "5' none"
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#568976 - 09/24/12 10:17 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Nathanial Mayweather Offline
Gay For Pay

Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 1045
Loc: Putting the POW in powerbottom...
Brandon I'm sure it's been covered before in another thread... and maybe you gave an actual answer....

However, what real world skills or retirement plan do you have in place.

Have you been salting away your money for decades?

Are you really an heir to a family fortune and set already?

Did you win a lottery and set already?

Have you bought copious amounts of real estate in the last two real estate bust and now have a gigantic empire that you collect rent from ...and are set for life?

Say you've done 3400 actual scenes and were paid an average of $400 that sums up to $1360000 if you've manage to save 10% of that then you saved 136000.

Also if you produced and directed another 75 titles and that gave you an average return on investment of 4k then you raked in 300000 and 10 percent is 30k so that brings up your ManWhore01K to 166000 if you continue to earn at the same rate for 15 more years of man whoring you'll only have 434115.25 and be a salty 58ish moving rapidly towards sexagenarian status..

you haven't paid into Your homelands Social Welfare system so you don't get that. I assume you can collect social security(if around that would be 12 years after MANwhoretirement)

I just don't see good things happening for you in your ManWHOROLDAGE.....

So What's are your thoughts...?

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#568979 - 09/24/12 10:44 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
In a Romneyesque disclosure, I will reveal that I earned $25 for my first American Bukkake. I still have it.

As long as the cost of living does not go above $1 per year, I can confidently say that I am free to spend the next quarter century here.

Starbucks closing. Must leave store now. See you.

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#568981 - 09/24/12 10:49 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5230
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
you forgot to factor in one negative coefficient labeled: PxP/RLD. That will jostile your numbers a bit.
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


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#569220 - 09/26/12 10:18 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Who needs someone to fight a snake?


Attachments
Back in LA!.jpg (302 downloads)


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#569222 - 09/26/12 11:46 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5230
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
It's 1973 all over again. Invading on Yom Kippur!

Welcome Back, Mr. Kotter
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


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#569224 - 09/27/12 12:07 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
Thank god I just got to new york

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#569243 - 09/27/12 10:24 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
backdoorman Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
You gonna see your old bf. Tell him howdy for me !
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !

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#569297 - 09/27/12 07:16 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
J.B.
Unregistered


Congrats, Brandon. I knew Mr. Marcus' shennanigans would somehow make you seem less toxic.

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#569315 - 09/27/12 08:33 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12931
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
I don't know whats up with that pic, but I couldn't save it to my computer, to check the exif data. When I screen capped it, I wasn't expecting anything to come up. The only data of note was that it was modified about the time it was posted.

EDIT: If it is real, somewhere Papercahse is either crying or kicking puppies.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#569317 - 09/27/12 08:43 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: Jerkules]
J.B.
Unregistered


Originally Posted By: Jerkules
If it is real, somewhere Papercahse is either crying or kicking puppies.


Last time I spoke to him, and it was maybe a month ago, he was doing fine and laughing at how this place has become a mockery of its former self. He's more than half right.

By that same token, does anyone think Brandon's return to LA will be anything less?

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#569338 - 09/28/12 02:41 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Yes, it's a real pic. It was taken at LAX at the arrivals level of the International Terminal (#4, I think). I could not deny my presence to the good people of America any longer. My thoughts are with all the ladies who passed through the industry from 2009-2012 without ever having had the pleasure of my company. I apologize.

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#569358 - 09/28/12 11:57 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: Brandon_Iron]
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5230
Loc: watching Bad Ronald


Attachments
Dodging-Toxic-Bullet300.jpg (226 downloads)

_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


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#569389 - 09/28/12 06:51 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Welcome back. Try not to get it all dirty this time.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#569390 - 09/28/12 06:53 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
he snuck in under the syphilis outbreak... well played irons. well.played.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#569396 - 09/28/12 07:21 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
He's an evil genius.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#569402 - 09/28/12 08:04 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12931
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
This is REAL?? Wow. I hope he didn't get fake documents as from some dirty eastern Euro country and slip in as Brandon Panzer.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#569405 - 09/28/12 08:43 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
All I can say is that while Brandon Iron may not be welcome, Brendon McIronsides has no black marks on his record.

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#569428 - 09/28/12 09:48 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
You stole Raymond Burr's identity? Does your treachery know no bounds?
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#569431 - 09/28/12 09:49 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
are mcironsides wads kind of off colored and cloudy also?
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
#569477 - 09/29/12 10:08 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
All joking aside, I arrived on Wednesday with hopes and dreams. No one has hired me. It's now Saturday and I've gone through all my savings. I may have to leave for Canada soon.

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#569481 - 09/29/12 10:51 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Jigaloo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
Contact the Pink Cross.
_________________________

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#569485 - 09/29/12 11:23 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
^^^Lubben would drive a stake through his heart on sight.

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#569501 - 09/29/12 03:48 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
It seems that no one cares for me anymore. I'm going to contemplate my options at the hill where Steve Driver went.

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#569502 - 09/29/12 03:50 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Jigaloo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
No Brandon, don't. You have so much to live for. At least kill someone with a samurai sword first.
_________________________

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#569518 - 09/29/12 06:41 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: Brandon_Iron]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
All joking aside, I arrived on Wednesday with hopes and dreams. No one has hired me. It's now Saturday and I've gone through all my savings. I may have to leave for Canada soon.


back for a court date is it?.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#569631 - 09/30/12 11:19 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I'm not attracted to lawyers. Would never date one.

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#570639 - 10/11/12 11:14 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Update: I've poured the last of my savings into next month's release, "Here Comes Honey Goo Goo." It's basically a rip off of White Trash Whore but I hope it does well.

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#570646 - 10/12/12 12:58 AM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
You're really squeezing in under the wire before the satiree's 15 minutes were up.

Maybe...and I'm just spitballing here...maybe you should satire someone with a bit more staying power, victim of our sick culture- wise.

Now, with your natural, um, personality, only one name comes to mind:


That's right. Antoine Motherfuckin' Dodson.

You're welcome.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#570788 - 10/13/12 02:46 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
I watch Tosh.O, too, y'know.

Where's my "web redemption," Barry? Where?

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#570792 - 10/13/12 03:45 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Didn't learn of him from Tosh.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#570803 - 10/13/12 06:39 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Oh. Same difference.

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#570903 - 10/15/12 02:22 PM Re: Brandon Irons on World's Dumbest [Re: Brandon_Iron]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Originally Posted By: Brandon_Iron
Update: I've poured the last of my savings into next month's release, "Here Comes Honey Goo Goo." It's basically a rip off of White Trash Whore but I hope it does well.


now that you're back in the States does this mean knox is gainfully employed?.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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