I used to enjoy telling girls at bars that I worked doing ridiculous jobs, like selling aluminum siding. One time I told a girl that I worked with animals and she thought that was oh so sweet. Then I told her that I was actually the guy at the animal shelter whose job was to burn all the unwanted puppies and kittens. I said she could tell whenever I was working by whether or not there was smoke coming from the chimney. I think that was the end of the conversation.