This is way funnier than my title suggests.

fiftyshadesgenerator


“

My meat purse was trembling like a tasered slab of chopped liver. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his master of ceremonies made my fallopian fish stock trickle like a rabid dog. There was love mayonnaise draining from his flesh gordon and I was wetter than a well diggers arse. We were ready for more. By now, my spunk dungeon was seeping like a jizz waterfall. The feeling of his ectoplasm sliming down my throat got my minge mucus flowing quicker than snot off a whip.
”