Does anyone else enjoy rimming women they've just met?

Brandon Irons eats poop.

She is taking a Brandon Irons sized dump.

kinda sexy whore.let her marinate about 10 years and shell look just right.add some fake tits too.

I'm always down for ass eating. I got a new rule that I go ahead and shove my tongue in a chick's ass first chance I get, cause there aint no guarantee there will be a second chance.

I know, I know, y'all thinking "But Jerkules, you are a charming mother fucker, any broad that gives you one chance is gonna give you a second," and I understand your line of thinking, but some a them bitches too fucking nutty to get a second chance of getting their ass ate and being gifted w/ a batch a my man spackle.

If the ass is funky, don't sweat it or make a big deal about it. Just get up, go get your self some wipes or a soapy, damp wash cloth and clean that ass up. Makes the skeezer think that you are caring and willing to help her, that you are not judgmental and that she doesn't have to feel self conscious around you. Make her comfortable enough, and she might just let your pecker follow your tongue into her mud flume.

In closing, eat the ass on the first date if you can. If she don't return the favor by date 10, you gots to find a new bitch.

Gots to find a new bitch? Found one.

I always try to throw the girl in the shower first. Most girls are clean though b/c of the anticipation of knowing my tongue is gonna be somewhere near her pussy.

I get excited when I hear something from a model such as, "I sat on a train for 3 hours to get here."

You have my attention.

Denise, below, didn't take a train but it was our second meeting so she had already met the Wizard behind the curtain. Not freaked out by anything and seemed to enjoy having fun.

i realize this is a brandon iron self promotion thread..and aptly titled, isn't it?. more regurgitated shit being passed along it seems.

aannyyways... i'm not sure why Bi with his face in an ass is a big deal. it's who he is. it's what he does.

i found this pic to be a far more unnatural and disturbing act...

Call PETA now.

Lou, don't worry. That's just Brandon's new feature for the Polish Playboy channel.

That is one swanky cot you have there.

Grandma Panzer has the same tablecloth.

Friends, I am simply reaching out -- figuratively, of course -- to those in the ass-eating community in a spirit of friendship and camaraderie. I am not a brown-noser and seek nothing other than discussion.

Did you give them the good hurt?

Not really, no. It may come as a surprise to some of you to learn that women do not seem to enjoy their time with me.

Was the turning point when you pulled out the Alberta Appetizer and they laughed?

No, it usually goes sour a few seconds after I open the door.

If you have the koruna in your free hand when you open the door maybe things would go smoother.

Despite having a reputation for cheapness, I actually pay a little more than the going rate. You can't buy a good attitude. That's what I've learned.

Don't take the poor attitude personally. If you had to hand all your money earned, from having a dwarf jizz in your pie hole, to an Albanian pimp, that beats you into submission 2x a week, you probably wouldn't be full of kittens and rainbows either.

Still, I've seen the fantasy fulfilled, too. Some young, hot, teaser/pleaser who loves playing show-off for the camera.

You mean you occasionally get a toy that isn't broken yet???

They're born broken over there.

Brandon's whores or those who pleased him. Names.

I can appreciate the company of any young lady who honestly feels that I'm the rube and she is getting an easy payday from a mark. It takes the savvy of keen observation mixed with the narcissism of youth. It's always best when one outweighs the other but not by much.

Porn whores who deliver are like unicorns. Names.

I've been giggling about the Brandon shaped shit all nite.

Living in the shadow of Chernobyl and large scale industrial poisoning of the water supplies hasn't helped.

Me too Barry for about the last 30 minutes. hahahaha

Brandon Irons eats poop was a great thread...Im glad you changed shirts ..

No shirt. No shoes. Full service.

The chick is pretty hot, but that bedspread is outta some 80's techno black light nightmare.

The poor part of Europe is all about the 80's techno black light scene.

Now that I'm living in Kiev, I have found inner peace. I am comparatively rich and have many opportunities to meet single ladies.
Once I've perfected my chicken Kiev dish, I will invite all my friends from XXXPT over.

You would poison the food. I would.

Did you know it's legal to buy arsenic over here? I told the pharmacist I had a rat problem.

Brandon, you shouldn't make jokes like that. Some paranoid delusional will think you're really trying to kill them.

Relax. I'm Canadian. We are a kind, tolerant, polite bunch. Statistics show that it's Americans who are most likely to shoot you at a movie theater, a Sikh temple, or Ft. Hood. Pass all the Brady bills you want. Americans love guns, war, and violence.

Whereas you just kill people slowly by making movies.

rimshot.

I don't make movies. I make cinema verite.

How do you explain your behaviour? Fake internet shrink, heal thyself.

Nope, the shit you're incapable of understanding is not my responsibility and nothing I can say will keep you from flailing around here like some kind of retarded kraken for the next couple of months.

^^So, you can't explain what's wrong with you. Keep up the good work, doc. You're changing lives.

That's just it you dense fucking retard. No one can explain anything to you.

Cinema Shite ! ????

Barry vs. have2cit: It's a dominance battle! Who will have to get the jelly out??

Errr....is that ky or grape ?