I'm always down for ass eating. I got a new rule that I go ahead and shove my tongue in a chick's ass first chance I get, cause there aint no guarantee there will be a second chance.

I know, I know, y'all thinking "But Jerkules, you are a charming mother fucker, any broad that gives you one chance is gonna give you a second," and I understand your line of thinking, but some a them bitches too fucking nutty to get a second chance of getting their ass ate and being gifted w/ a batch a my man spackle.

If the ass is funky, don't sweat it or make a big deal about it. Just get up, go get your self some wipes or a soapy, damp wash cloth and clean that ass up. Makes the skeezer think that you are caring and willing to help her, that you are not judgmental and that she doesn't have to feel self conscious around you. Make her comfortable enough, and she might just let your pecker follow your tongue into her mud flume.

In closing, eat the ass on the first date if you can. If she don't return the favor by date 10, you gots to find a new bitch.