nah it wasnt sexy. my back was hunched over and i couldn't line up my hips.

http://twitpic.com/5gw4dx

"I was reading Cindy's book and decided to sniff adipex on her face..this is my diet for the week"

Jasmine Tame would probably be fun when drugged out of her whore skull. I remember the keloids and her take on them.

she doesnt have them anymore thanks to some kind of shot i think.

Damn Jerkules, that pic of Cindy was the good old days. Look up Cindy Crawford flabby belly on Google images. It's not good.

Click the link. That is from Jasmine Tame, not me. I don't even know what that drug is. If it makes you impervious to alcohol or makes you fuck for hours, I'd give it a try.

I'm saying Cindy Crawdaddy was the best. When I saw that pic of her stretch ark blown out belly, it was tough. Made me realize I'm getting old.

I'm just writing to say this girl looks like my ideal weekend date. Great body on her.

Totally agree with you. And think of the $$ you would save w/ the broad snorting Adderall instead of adult blow.

nice cokehead stripper^.


anybody else think this guy looks like brandon somewhat?

That is my brother, Rusty Irons.

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It's hard to tell, but I believe this upstanding young lady has bleached her asshole.

and your sister Busty Iron?

I heart pot, too.

From the thumbnail I figured it was Tanner Mays all cracked out who painted her face up and was now relaxing with a bong.

That a bottle of vinegar on the tub? Is that why the water is read in it?

Hahahah jondra ! How do you read water ? One drop at a time or just dump the whole thing over your head ?

looks like audrey bitoni.tits are too big to be tanner since she has no tits.

Mmmmm. If I could find a pic of a chick smoking a bong while taking a dump, I'd have my next avatar.

note to gia.take pics of madison ivys tits to your dr.

Agreed. They look good

Bah, Burglar's 9th rule of sploogethics, "Never insert your penile appendage into the mouth of a whore who thinks she is the next Joni Mitchell/Joan Baez who has just smoked the equivalent of a entire Shrub of Mendocino County's finest seasoning....you'll pop positive for marijuana on your next drug screen and your dick will smell like one of those Los Angeles Medical Marijuana shops 1.7 seconds after you walk in the door, unless she had the munchies just before gobbling your goo in which case you may be smelling Taco Bell or Nestle's "Tool" House Cookies or Bugles-cheddar flavor every time you drop your shorts to take a piss...." Got all that kids? I'm Burglar, I'm here to help....

P.S. -- Also marijuana-stoned whores tend to be too fucking silly or self absorbed to really get into the act, or "moment", when engaged in a sausage fest and are just as liable to bust out giggle-snorting when you talk filthy to her or tell her to look into your eyes as you pop into her mouth.


P.(i).S.S -- Plus, when she does open her mouth to receive your splooge, you are liable to view some truly un-erotic spectacles like Choclate Brownies in her teeth or an occasional Orange glowing Cheetos residue. Fuck that, only consort with whores who snort Heroin or pop Klonipin, they are sincere in their drug induced debauchery.

Remember, here to help....

The real problem with getting a blowjob from a whore who is high on weed is cotton mouth. Feels like fucking sandpaper.

Any weed smoking whore worth her salt knows the importance of hydration.

Burg, or anyone, do you kiss whores?

im sure he knows better than that.

No open sores and she looks halfway clean and she isn't high volume, sure. How can ya eat a whore's asshole w/o kissing them?

ding ding ding Right answer^ Tell him what he's won, Johnny.

^He's won the right to drive Burg's Handi-Van for a week. (Gas and tolls are extra.)

Hey if anyone needs a fat chick delivered, I have a van with a lift for a week. My delivery fee is charged by the pound.

Making a run for the border regularly foa shua, picking the skinny future maids and things to have around to molest while fighting that US BMI where it counts, in pussy matters.

C'mon man....when i fork over the dough I tell her "if u want kissing I get a discount..." I will however spit her pill of choice ino her mouth free of (reverse)charge, or crush it up and blow it up her ass :banana_stevienicks:

Whore follies update: In my condo building in AC on the top floor lives a former Goldman sachs Senior VP of Thievery and he sends out for holes every now and then as well...about a week ago I am rolling in around 11 pm and passed out in her car in the visitors parking is "Sheila", a white girl with big guns from Indiana who for the past two years has been hooked to the gills on vikes (dont ask me how I know.) I bang on the window (like 7 times) and she finally comes to and looks at me, looks at her watch, waves nervously and starts the engine...I back away and watch as she dials frantic on her phone and backs out.....she rolls about ten feet, stops, gabs for a minute on the phone (or is checking messages, I dunno) and then.....nods off again!! the car rolls slowly backwards until it hits a stanchion and stops. She wakes again, looks at me, thinks for 17 seconds and then pulls in to the same parking space again. SHe gets out and asks "Can I come up for a minute?" Since I am a gentleman burglar I say "uh sure...um do I need five hundred bucks this time if its more than a "minute" or is my good samaritan concern anough cuz I am really fucking horny..." She giggles and says nothing (which is a NO, I dont need five hundred bucks.)

I gave her 500 anyway, 87 minutes and two vikes and a splooge later of course.

I'm going to hell for this right?

According to the Search feature, that is the only time the word "stanchion" has ever been used here. Anyway, now I feel like getting high and going to see some strippers.

No. I think you did a good deed. You might have even saved a whore's life.

He saved her habit at least.

Yer going to hell for giving her the 5 bills. Maybe a hundred as a tip and tell her to get a hot meal somewhere, but she needed you more than you needed her, and she was willing to suck you off just to not have to drive. You saved her 10grand in DUI.

Sorry, I was just so sad when I read Burg paid full boat. It wasn't the taking advantage of an addict story I'd hoped for.

I was really hoping for a taking advantage of too. He must being looking at the long game.

Recommended! Take a trip to Colombia or Peru, though, and try the difference.

Ah crap, I must admit (cuz I hate hypocrisy): I rarely ever take FULL advantage of the whores in my life; I talk the talk but I wheel the walk when it comes to whores. Ask Gia Jerkinz, I'm really the Uber-whore's ideal client, jaded enough (and scarred) on the outside to make the whore feel "normal" but on the inside I really am a gentleman burglar. I know all the things to say and not to say....

If I sound fucked-upishly proud of my whore acumen I guess I am, I'll never be married or even in a relationship that lasts more than 9-1/2 months, it's like reigning in hell rather than even loitering in heaven, I'd rather be a good bad guy than a typical "good" citizen anyday.

I did yank her hair back before I popped on her tonsils, I think she said "ow"....that counts for something right?


P.S. A "Stanchion" is one of those heavy duty rubber bumper thingies colored Yellow that allows cars to pull in or back into something without oblitaerating a tailight or denting today's Non-metal paper mache bumpers from Korea or Taiwan.

P.(i).S.S. Christie Lee says "Hi" to y'all

You live your life. Good enough for me.

(A) Sooner or later, these youngins are going to need those whore skills when they realize they're neither invincible nor bullet proof;

(B) I'm pretty sure a "Stanchion" is one of those brass things that keeps the velvet rope suspended;

(C) This:




. . . is the most interesting thing posted here in weeks. What's up with that broad?

whats christie"enojoyable feeding frenzy scene"up to post porn?selling ice cream in canada?

I here ya Burg. "Rarely take full advantage" means you have and you can, so it isn't something that needs to be done all the time.

the irony here is that jb would see gia walk in and he would pose smoking a pipe, wearing a tweed jacket and leaning against a wall nonchalantly. Didn't work. daBurg still gets more women sitting there in his suped up shopping cart snorting crank off a hunting knife.

p.s. in slavic, whore also means "point of sale". but your russian & slav/asiatic gymnast type is bound to be better - her ancestors were the Czars serfs, beaten & starved but still good with poetry.

I will try to get Christie to pop in and say hello, and share whatever she feels like sharing. I'll give her a lot of credit though, christie did NOT flame out and become another trainwreck like so many other porn starlets after their 8 month shelf life dissipates in 6-1/2 months. She is one cool chick, and has really made a nice life for herself. Yet, as far as I know, she is also still totally cool with her porn past and enjoys to this day her status as a object of jerker offers everywhere.

Gia is the porn whore who we all know and recognize as the quintessential "Non Trainwreck" post pornography covergirl, but that is due to her staying on and remaining part of XPT's dysfunctional society. Christie has a markedly different life and path than Gia, but it is no less valid or worthy....both are always welcome in Burg's seaside cottage of crippled debauched friendship.


Mark J quote: "...... daBurg still gets more women sitting there in his suped up shopping cart snorting crank off a hunting knife." While I appreciate the appreciative appreciation in the face of my (age-related) depreciating overall interest in many whores I used to ....um, ah, "appreciate", and while I am sure JB finds his way well enough to the right holes when needed, I must object to the crank and knife imagery here....I am a peaceful Burglar, crank doesnt jive with my fracture-prone limbs (despite my MAD Muscle skills in the above-the-waist category) and the only crank I touch is the high grade stuff I allow a certain 24 year old female exotic dancer (and prodigy-in-the-gobbling arts) named Fiona, who sometimes makes the 55 minute drive from Philadelphia to Atlantic City in under 40 minutes because I tell her if I pop myself out of sheer boredom before she gets here she gets nothing, to snort off my titanium footrests on fire-engine-red-colored Burg_mobile number 3 (shopping carts my ass...) But Mark J's heart is in the right place....

You got a meth whore? That is cool.