Only to the extent that I never should have had to, in that I never should have started the thread in the 1st place. And after I did, I allowed it to snowball into something way more than the initial intent, which only made it worse.

Though I didn't share anything all that intrusive, I also knew it doesn't take much to get her upset and all worked up & I failed to rationalize that I was doing & sharing what I was right out in the open/public, and on an industry related board at that. We were friends...we had a nasty falling out...there's still bad blood between us...but that's still no excuse...It was still a major douchebag move on my part. I'm the 1st to admit that I can be a dick at times...but I'm really not a dick & I actually have a conscience. That's why I genuinely regretted starting that thread. Though some of what I shared I had discovered on my own after we had our falling out, some of it wasn't....and I was wrong for betraying the friendship and trust that we had formed between us. Two wrongs never make a right.

I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't worried about how she was going to react (when I stepped back and looked at what I started), especially knowing how much she really loves her father to this day...but that wasn't it. The fact of the matter is that I really did feel bad about starting something that was only going to end up causing shit for and/or hurting her. At the end of the day, that's just not me.

Hell, despite the bad blood, the nasty falling out, and the lies that have been spread by her, about me, in public (which she always deleted I guess after she stepped back and thought about what she was doing too)...I still don't actually hate her, and I don't actually want to see her being hurt in any way, shape, or form. I've seen both sides of Nikki...but I know deep down, she really is a good person. There is a difference between genuinely believing something that isn't true & acting accordingly and knowing something isn't true and just doing something out of malice.

I have two sides too...I can be the nicest and sweetest guy you would ever want to meet....but I can be a really mean dick too. That thread was a glimpse at the latter.

Anyway, I've come to find that impulsiveness and anger are a TOXIC combination. Things that seem to be a good idea when you are upset and not thinking rationally, rarely do when you calm down & step back and view them rationally/calmly from afar. That's why it is important to always step back, take a time out, and think before doing something impulsive. Easier said than done...but still.

So in summation....the only thing that I actually regret, for several reasons, is starting the thread in the 1st place, and having to run to Steve could be included...but only by extension.

I'm not objective enough to say whether or not I agree with your decision to not let me off the hook for my douchebaggery or not, to examine the motivation behind that decision, or to be perfectly honest, examine my true motivation behind wanting the thread removed (I know it was for me and for her...but I'm not objective enough to tell which weighed more) but I don't actually regret going to Steve (though I should have just gone to him to begin with) after the fact (after I fucked up royally to begin with) instead of seeing how things played out, especially after they got out of control. Yeah it was a punk ass move...but it was also one that needed to be made.

A wise woman once taught me that actions have consequences (I also learned one should never cross an Italian woman from this same person actually). Perhaps I did get off easier than I deserved to with regard to the whole thread issue...but the main fact remains that I NEVER should have started the thread in the 1st place & I'm certainly not saddened in the slightest that the thread is no more...I'm only saddened that I ever started it. There is a right way to go about things, and that certainly wasn't it.

Sorry this post was so long....I figured I'd just go ahead and cover it all once and for all. Moving on......