I know, and you're right. But honestly, I don't always have the time to put on a production. I've got pipes to build. Like with garlic. It's going to involve processing it, cuz I don't use bottled. That takes time. And in the episode of Bong Wars being filmed in my head, I'm on a fucking deadline. And the one in my fake reality show is as contrived as the deadlines on American Chopper. I don't owe you fucking people anything!!!

What were we talking about? Yeah, it's not fresh and...well, of any nutritional value, but it tastes good, does the job. What can I say? You got me.

Haha! I think tongue in cheek may be my newest favorite alt-id. We're trying to be such food snobs here on the porn board of late.

I've used the onion soup mix but not lately, and it's pretty good for a punch.

I usually use the homemade Greek seasoning you can buy at this restaurant in Charleston http://www.oldtownerestaurant.com/ but I see they don't offer a way to order online. I'm betting you could call and order it, though. It's especially good on chicken but good on steak and pork too. I don't see much artificial on the ingredient list.

Who am I an alt of? Tritone? Brandon? You?

Just so I know.

"Homemade" Greek seasoning that you buy from a restaurant. OK.

Greek seasoning =

Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt
Pepper
Dried Oregano
Garlic
Lemon Juice

And you put in on pretty much any kind of meat, but never a hamburger.

you;re my alt, just so everyone is up to speed.

And Steezo, I know the owners of this restaurant. They make it at home and use it at home. They make it in their restaurant kitchen and use it there. The health dept. frowns on shit made in your garage and brought into a restaurant.

The ingredients listed are:
oregano, pepper, salt, paprica, basil, shordo daphonophilo, thinan, menta, amtho, and 6 other spices. And the jar says "when you run out call us, we'll send you more". It makes for an incredible rub when combined with a little olive oil.

Bornyo, that's probably a fine spice rub which I will never taste. I also can't recognize a good number of those spices as being words. I'm guessing something was lost in the translation. Like "shordo" is probably a misspelling of "skordo" which means garlic. I'll stick with the all-purpose marinade I posted for when I'm making Greek grilled meat or fish.

More likely, it's the Greek spelling, and you/we translate it wrong, and without googling I'd guess it's garlic flower.

Anyway, if you take a notion and call them, it is very good. They ship in 1 lb jugs so the shipping would be worth it.

http://whatistheroad.blogspot.com/2011/01/recipe-to-health.html#more

I should make this raw Thai dish. Mmmmnnn...

anyway, my dinner was crap. vegetarian soup and 4 plums. horrible food combining.

Wait, hold up.

Bornyo, are you using the dressing in the mix, or as a topping on a cooked burger? These things are important.

Its not a dressing but dry spices.

Shit, sorry bout' that B. I need to learn literacy.

Trying to slooooowly light my grill so I can smoke some homemade bacon tonight. I want it to stay under 150° for about 3 hours, then 200° for the last two hours to finish it. I'll be using applewood chunks for the smoke flavor.

One slab is regular bacon with some black pepper added, the other is the same but I added maple syrup to the cure. I'm getting a really late start. Hopefully I won't pass out again like I did with the chicken, not that it messed anything up.

Good luck on that shit. Post THE MEAT when you're done cooking it.

I don't have a pic handy, but my bacon turned out pretty good. Maybe I'll post one later. I fell asleep and it kind of smoked for too long at too high a temperature, but it didn't seem to negatively effect the final product. Next, I might do a smoked turkey breast or some canadian bacon.

Tonight I had something that I didn't actually cook, I just reheated it to make the skin crispy: Asian smoked duck. Some Asian woman gave it to us as a gift and it was fucking amazing. It was already fully cooked, but about a 1/4 cup of fat still rendered from it when I was heating it up and it remained kind of fatty afterward. But, that's a good thing. With the skin being all crispy & still fatty, it was almost like eating some amazing fried chicken or something. Unreal.

Oh, I also might make some no-knead pizza dough to try later. I got a Christmas gift subscription to Bon Appetit and it's the cover recipe. It has like 4 ingredients to it and no kneading. To Alex Panzer: With scale reading grams, even full-on retard could make without screwging up.

Roasted beets. In the oven in parchment paper per one of you suggested on here. Thanks!!! Just shot Avril Hall. She said beets were her least favorite food. Glad I waited til after the shoot, which btw was one of the most picture perfect gorgeous yet smutty Fox Magazine shoots I've done this year. During the shoot, I noshed on various fruit and sliced veggies like I always do. I need to buy crackers or something for shoots. I forget ppl like actual food. And music. I need to buy an ipod dock. I forget ppl listen to music.

I copied this yesterday with tofu bacon, black pepper, and agave syrup. Turned out VERY nice. I put it in a toasted bagel with tomato slices and Nova lox.

As I mentioned in the NWIOT thread, don't be scared by your blood red toilet water tomorrow.

Mock me all you want, but you know that lots of vegetarians cheat and eat bacon. The real stuff. I think I mentioned once before that my sister went to a spa and there was an older black woman there who was a vegetarian, but she cooked all of her vegetables in bacon fat.

I'm with you on the lox. I might try to make some considering I have about 20lbs of salmon in the freezer still from last fall's salmon run. The best I've ever had was from Russ & Daughters in NY.

Tell that woman to use coconut oil instead for that. Way healthier, and with most food, it doesn't leave a coconutty taste. Yeah, I know plenty of Jewish folk who keep Kosher, but make an exception with bacon. And yes, yes, yes on Russ & Daughters.

Beets on parchment paper. You're welcome. Glad it worked.

Yes, it was you. Thanxxx! I lopped off the ends, coated them in coconut oil, wrapped them in parchment paper, then after they cooked, i slid the skin right off and seasoned them with dulse flakes- which btw is a great source of iodine. iodinized salt is NOT. And if you're hypothyroid, it's great for that as well. I could chill these, but I wanna eat them now, and it's a lil cold in L.A. tonight.

Sounds delicious. I have a big jar of coconut oil in the fridge. Never thought to use it on roasted vegetables. Great idea.

Never used coconut oil, but I have some Earth Balance Natural organic coconut spread, which I love. I know it's supposed to be healthier for you than other spreads, but I overindulged with some on crackers one night and it literally felt like my blood was turning to sludge from all the saturated fat.

^^^Is that supposed to be like butter? I find vegan butter substititutes to just be toxic garbage and feel like it. Better off using real butter. This seems to be good advice on how to cook with it.

http://www.savvyvegetarian.com/vegetarian-cooking/vegan-baking-substitutions.php

But I bake with applesauce instead of butter when vegan baking.

Applesauce: Use for sweet baking only. Use the same amount you would for butter. Especially yummy in brownies! For muffins, etc., replace up to 3/4 of the butter with applesauce, using vegan butter for the rest.

I use coconut oil as cooking grease. It feels light and the fatty acid chain doens't change with the heat like olive oil, canola, etc does. Cooconut oil is the only oil that doesn't turn carcinegenic when heated. Spelling mistakes, i know. on phone and don't care.

It's also great as skin lotion. I have a jar in the kitchen for cooking, and a jar in my bathroom for body lotion. It's even made a few stretch marks disappear.

It's a spread and it's fucking delicious. It doesn't grease things up at all. If you eat it on a cracker when it's still cold, you can feel it melting in your mouth. I'll try coconut oil soon.

^^^ toxic garbage trying to cash in on the secret that coconut oil is wassup for cooking. But if you're in love with the Earth Balance coco spread, I'd just limit it to putting on crackers. Coconut oil as a schmear or topping does not taste good lol. Though, I do rinse my mouth with coconut oil after I brush. Very good dental hygiene help. Look up 'oil pulling.'

And it's better to get coconut oil sold in glass jar than plastic.

If you want butter for quick breads and things (the baking process), pureed AVOCADO works BEAUTIFULLY - it has a rich buttery flavor and is PERFECT, so does applesauce with some oil (i usually use the same amount of applesauce for the oil/butter the recipe calls for and then add 2 tbs of sunflower/canola/whatever oil), and then of course for baking and such, u can also use coconut oil.

I've learned a lot about vegan baking, especially vegan substitiues, from Post Punk Kitchen. They have it down to a science and make it easy.

http://www.theppk.com/vegan-baking-the-post-punk-kitchen-shows-you-how/

I made some pretty good beef jerky the other day using a marinade recipe from Alton Brown. He recommends drying the jerky on A/C filters strapped to a box fan with bungee cord. That sounded tedious to me, so I just laid the strips of jerky on racks in my oven and set it to convection cook at 135° for about 10 hours. It was great.

Now I'm smoking a boneless pork loin that I brined for 3 days to make Canadian Bacon. It'll prolly smoke for about 4 or 5 hours with some hickory wood in the 160-200° range on my charcoal grill. A strange variation of Canadian Bacon that I didn't try this time is something called peameal bacon. After you brine it, I guess you roll the pork loin in corn meal and then bake it until it's done.

Making my own chicken broth for homemade chicken noodle soup and the kosher section of the grocery store was out of schmaltz! Can you believe! Oy vey!

Hopefully, I can skim my own of the top of the simmering broth.

You got real jews in Alaska??? Are there many of them?

I grew up with the grandson of the most famous jew in Alaska, David Green of David Green's Master Furriers. They sell fur coats and shit. People up here think they're royalty.

When my sister had her first kid, the people at the baby store were boasting about how the Green's had bought the same crib or some such shit. The guys who did the glass tiling in my house said basically the same thing about their tile work.

Also, when I was in the health food store buying my organic chicken, the girl ahead of me was clearly a Jewish American Princess. She had a $10 discount punch-card that you get to use if you spend enough money on vitamins. She was like, "Why can't I use it if I give you an extra dollar?!? I want my discount!" The cashier eventually just gave up and gave her the $10 off.

Yep. Stupid me, I should thunk that.

The other night I grilled up some turkey sliders and served them on pretzel rolls, topped with a little shredded Colby-Jack cheese and a mixture of spicy deli mustard & a smoky Carolina BBQ sauce.

If you want the best BBQ-sauce vinaigrette for sandwiches, do this:

Whisk together:
3 Parts BBQ Sauce
2 Parts Extra Vigin Olive Oil
1 Part Apple Cider Vinegar

I constructed some kind of bean and barley salad (I'm going with salad because I served it cold). Pretty good. I always forget about how well I like barley.

I made a mushroom/barley soup once. Holy crap was that ever fart city. Delicious though.

Sorry bud, but that's a shit recipe. Two of the main ingredients in my BBQ sauce are Apple Cider Vinegar and olive oil. You can't publish a recipe that says "use bbq sauce" and expect anyone to taste what you tasted. Someone earlier posted that they used "Carolina BBQ Sauce". Well, there are 2 Carolinas with at least three distinctive regional sauces and none of them are at all like Kansas City sauces. Some bastards actually put mustard in their sauce and it comes out yellow. Other sauces are sweet or more like ketchup and many of them use liquid smoke or some other bastardization.

Steezo. Don't skim to get schmaltz. You skim to get rid of the impurities. The easiest way to get the fat is put the soup in the fridge after cooking. The schmaltz will congeal on the top.

This is true. My mom used to do this.

Fucking try it out before you declare it to be shit. If your BBQ sauce already has Apple Cider Vinegar and Olive Oil, it's probably a thinned-out sauce which is close to the recipe I posted. Use a real, thick BBQ sauce and thin it out the way I said. It's not just good, it is great.

I feel so Jew-ey right now. I skimmed the scum off the top and threw it away, but I kept the schmaltz and put it in the fridge so it could separate.

No, it sounds like you need to take a shitty bbq sauce and thin it out with my ingredients to make it edible, then put it on a salad.

Do you think your dressing would taste good with a mustard based sauce? If so then don't bother to read the rest of this post.

"The Sauce"
-1/2 gallon Apple Cider Vinegar
-1 lb Brown sugar. (I never use this much, but it isn't bad with that much)
-1/4 cup salt
-1/2 lb butter (no margarine, ever)
-4 cups chopped onions
(saute' the onions and butter)
-2 cups water
-1/4 cup olive oil
-2 bulbs of garlic, sliced. (I use more)
-1 small bottle of Worcestershire sauce, like the sampler bottle (I often leave this out)
-1 hot pepper pod, minced, hot as you can stand, or you can add cayan powder later).
-You can add tomato juice, if you don't like the color. The flavor will be fine but some people like it redder or more ketchup-like in appearance. I can take it or leave it.

This makes around a gallon. Adjust accordingly. You could also saute the onions in the olive oil and eliminate the butter. This is a framework for good sauce, not the Bible. I won't post my exact recipe. This makes excellent salad dressing and it also mixes well to make bbq slaw when you don't want the mayo based crap.

Roast some potatoes with sea salt, cracked pepper, Rosemary and some schmaltz. Not so Jewy but very good.

You wanna be a fucking food snob and shit on my suggestion, fine. But, you aren't telling me that I have a bad palate or that I can't cook up some shit.

My recipe was for taking an already good BBQ sauce and thinning it out to make a dressing to go on a sandwich. Nobody fucking asked you to rewrite the cookbook for BBQ sauce.

Cool. A ruckus.

Nope. You said take BBQ sauce and add olive oil and apple cider vinegar to make a good salad dressing. That alone is malpractice.

Yes. And if you do what I said, you come up with a tasty vinaigrette for sandwiches.

Which is exactly what I meant when I said:

"If you want the best BBQ-sauce vinaigrette for sandwiches, do this:

Whisk together:
3 Parts BBQ Sauce
2 Parts Extra Vigin Olive Oil
1 Part Apple Cider Vinegar"

Of course, you have to start off with a good BBQ sauce that doesn't already have olive oil & apple cider vinegar added to it. That's common sense, so why are we arguing? What I said works.

Because Bougie wants to talk down to someone, Nate isn't around, and BDM hasn't posted any pics of his car lately.