BARF~

my copy of max extreme 20 won't not play. it's scratched or something, which is so wack, and i have to skim it to write this, so no dice. i for sure remember that the scene with sage is off the chain. i've whacked it a few times to that one. the rest, i don't know.

this one is probably a better one to write on, anyway. this is some shit that people would watch and say, "the motherfucker belongs in jail!"

the first scene features roxy rivers, who is so fucking skinny i can't stand it. if only that was her biggest problem. she's seventy-three pounds, apparently. mr. hardcore makes mention of that a few times in his running monologue. she looks pretty rough, to me, and she's grinding her teeth the whole scene, (which lasts just about an hour) for some reason. this young lady is simply not up to max's standards. he busts out almost his whole bag of tricks on her, though. it's not easy to watch. he does his darndest to get her to throw up, but it seems like there's just nothing in there. not even much spit gets going. he has her fist her own pussy. she doesn't do a very good job of it. so he does it himself, and also doesn't do a very good job. later after doing double anal on her with the help of a dildo, he fists her again. then we get to see almost ten minutes of him trying to fist her ass, with varying results. he does pretty much everything to her over the course of the hour, with her squirming the whole way. this is just not a pleasant way to spend sixty minutes of your life. max isn't attractive, she isn't attractive, and the things he does to her are extremely unattractive. the best thing i can think of to say to sum up this scene is that, after an hour of pure hell, ms. rivers ends up looking roughly the same as she did when she walked into the room. i feel sorry for her, honestly.

kelly wells and catalina is up next. catalina found ms. wells at the mall, where she models slutty outfits at her mother's store. parenting skills are somewhat lacking in the max hardcore universe. this is a pretty gross scene, more than picking up the slack for how bone-dry the last scene was. after he makes ms. wells throw up quite a bit, mr. hardcore instructs her to position herself between his legs so that catalina can vomit in her mouth. unfortunately, ms. wells is a fucking puke dodger, and most of the watery throw-up hits her neck and shoulder. outrageous. an especially gross moment comes when mr. hardcore is giving ms. wells the bidness, anally, and something comes out of her butt that shouldn't have been in there. not piss, and not vomit. you know what i'm talkin bout. i mean, you can see it for a second and everything. ms. wells apologizes, and catalina suggests stopping to clean it up, but max is all, "it's cool, we'll keep going." fucking gross, dude! ms. wells has the most embarrassed look on her face for the next few seconds. from this point on, especially, this is more of a lighthearted max hardcore scene than usual. not to say the content is lighter, but the tone isn't so aggressively mean-spirited. catalina and ms. wells actually seem to do most of the talking, and quite a bit of laughing and giggling. girls just wanna have fun. max pulls out the thing that cranks open their butts, so he can crank open ms. wells booty. then he has catalina puke in there so ms. wells can blow vomit bubbles. eventually he busts out those dumbass clamp things he uses to hold open the whore's mouths. they fall off, as usual. he should make them just put on a football helmet. one like place-kickers use, with just the one bar across. towards the end he decides he wants to fuck catalina's ass. she tells him that she didn't do an enema, but max don't give no fucks. while he is fucking her he has her puke in ms. wells mouth. girl aint got nowhere to run to this time, and takes a blast in the face when catalina violently coughs right in the middle of a heave. finally, it ends with the clamps back on, catalina pissing, and ms. wells gargling the piss. somehow, even with all this hotness, it takes mr. hardcore like a whole minute or two to git-r-done. i sensed a slight tension between ms. wells and catalina at certain points during the scene, and it really added to things.

finally, layla is going on a plane ride with mr. hardcore. once the plane takes off, ms. rivera excuses herself to the little girl's room, to get whored up. max comes in and does what you would expect him to do- IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM WHILE THE PLANE IS IN THE AIR! they manage to get into a lot of positions in such a tiny space. respect. then they go rejoin the other passengers like nothin ever happened.

on the behind the scenes mr. hardcore goes to a dolphins game with that wankus guy, and a cameraman steps in something nasty during the catalina/kelly wells scene. if any part of this sounds even remotely interesting to you, for any reason, you are a criminal and there is only one thing to do.

universal max 3 is easily one of my favorite flics ever...that kelly wells scene is top fuckin' notch.

There must be something wrong with me because I really want to watch that Kelly Wells and Catalina scene.

do the damn thing.

big moose,

How would you compare this Kelly Wells scene to the one that appeared in Max Faktor 18? I've seen the US version of this tape and the scenes seemed really short and cut down(even for the US version. Well, the last two did anyways. The Roxy Rivers scene still seem to last waaaaayyy to long, though. Quite a painful thing to watch, you're right. Don't know why he shot another scene using her(Max Faktor 11, which I haven't seen), much less feature her on the box cover of said movie. Girl looks more like she belongs on Crack Whore Confessions, or better yet rehab.

i can't imagine why he shot her twice, other than her adventurous nature. i will say, though, that she looks roughly 8000% better on that max faktor 11 cover than she does in her scene in this one. i wonder if they shot the scenes one right after the other. that might help explain how thoroughly fucked up she looks right from the get go. it's like they fished her out of a dumpster and max just started fucking her. i wonder if they were like, "maybe we should clean her up.", and max was just all, "it's cool, we'll keep going." i haven't seen max faktor 11 either, though, so i also can't comment on that one. i really hope that this was her bottoming out, though. dang.

i want to say the scene in max faktor 18 was grosser, but they're pretty much the same. (ms. wells gets about to a seven on the scale in this one) though this one did have the advantage of not having ms. rivera in it. she's truly irritating. if you liked one, you'll probably like the other. honestly, if you have one you probably don't need the other. that is, if ms. wells is your reason for purchasing it.

I didn't care for Layla in the role of the sidekick at first, but lately she has been growing on me. Her constant gleeful attitude while mugging for the camera and helping humilate the whores, combined with Max taking out his aggressions on the whore because he didn't get to fuck the prom queen when he was in high school and whatever attitude the victim in the scene seems to display(they all have their own unique way of dealing with the Max treatment), create an atmosphere that is very disturbing but highly at the same time. Yeah, Catalina was better in the role, but I'm beginning to become a Layla fan. Haven't seen much of Chloe Adams in the role to have an opinion on her yet.

I will say this though, all three of 'em are better than sUmMeR lUv's few(thankfully) attempts at playing the sidekick role. She annoys me to no end.

Finally watched this last night. I thought it was alright at most. The first whore looks like a crack fiend. Second scene had potential but has ridiculous direction: at one point Max goes off camera and both whores are gazing blanking into the camera unaware of what to do next. The best part was Catalina chugging puke in Kelly Wells' face but this is quickly dampened when Max puts that mouth clamp thing. Last scene is too reminiscent of a trip I had to Hawaii so a bit of a let down here too. Was hoping for something hardcore but I found this all very tame. Can anyone recommend anything harder? I'm looking for something along the lines of Giga or KitKatKlub.




"Blast, you promised me lemon scented chunks!"

I captured them myself from the video.

ms. rivera is a damn weirdo. her performances, to me, seem out of place. it's like she's acting in a whole other movie, you know? though maybe it is better than catalina, who's just totally fucking out of it, acting like she's on a whole other planet. i dunno, seems like a tough job. it's hard to say how i might behave if some little man was using his penis to make me vomit repeatedly. maybe i should cut ms. rivera some slack. whatever. she needs to quit making faces and just shut up and take it, bitch. bitch.

Layla is just too ficking hot to be a good Max sidekick - and she rarely does anal

Catalina is so zonked out most of the time that she really plays the role of alternate "victim" rather than sidekick.

My vote goes to Cloey, who managed to work up the job pyramid from skittish colt, to full on vampire before her spectacular flame out.

Perhaps my all time favourite Max scene features Max and Cloey going full on Paul Bernardo/ Karla Homulka on Allysin Embers inside the RV of doom. Cloey is so obviously getting off on the torture - it's crazy.



It's in Planet Max 5 - as a bonus, the scene with China Doll at the Venetian is also awesome.

Could it be that porn reached its zenith between 2003-2007?

Where are you now, Chloe Adams?