Brendan, do you get your talent from the irregulars bin in the basement of the porn whore store?

She appears to be somewhat decent looking until you take a closer look at the beak on her.

You can sorta see it in the face photo, but the side shot betrays her mom's inter-species breeding with a toucan.
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"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People