There are a bunch of people on xpt that I don't like but only a handful I would like to inflict real pain on, here is my list

1. Have2cit: Its not that he has said anything to offend me, but more so his smug fan boy in a online tough guy skin act that has that rubs me the wrong way. To be honest even that might be forgivable if he was capable of posting anything remotely interesting, I just think he is a fucking cancer to the board and breeds and encourages mediocrity. I don't think him going away would really be enough, I think he deserves a similar fate as the irish gangster in Casino receives from Joe Pesci, his fucking head in a vice until his lame faggoty fan boy eye pops out of his fucking head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzJTV01l98Q


2. JB: Worst lawyer in the history of time, in fact the only thing worse might be his fashion sense, he makes cheap look broke. Hall of fame member of the delusional about their station in life. He doesn't quite deserve his head in a vice, but repeated punches to the nose until it resembles hamburger meat would suffice.

JRV: How the mighty have falled, my hatred for him is slowly slipping to dislike, however a kick to the genitals would provide me great joy.

Being attacked by the current Monkey is the XPT equivalent of being splashed in the face with watermelon seeds by Gallagher's brother.

Ha, Brandon/Monkey got owned before he hit "submit" on his limp-wristed keyboard. Hey, Monks, remember all those retirements? Time for you to pull another one.

Kudos to you from stepping out of your comfort zone as the oblivious straight man to every panza and brandon irons thread, however a word of advice, when trying to insult someone for being out of date then try not to use an out of date reference as an insult. (Gallagher's brother? really?). Go with the jerkules approach of using 74 straight sports analogies, they seem to be working a treat for him.




(taking bets on the first regular to throw the tiniest of spotlights on Ron's board contributions to watch him fold like a house of cards again)

im pretty sure the vice head guy was a cowboy,but whats new in the world of the smelly monkey?

It was a solid historical reference and a good analogy. The story of Gallagher having his act/gimmick stolen by his younger brother was something I only recently read about after his latest heart attack. Also, I wanted to work the reference in before I got drunk and forgot about it.

Btw, Casino came out in fucking 1995. Lol.

why would any dick steal such a hack act?

House of cards? Are you 75 years old?

Monkley, are you going to regroup around your vaunted Cage Mafia? Face it, you stopped being relevant around 2006. Luke Ford is not here to raise your relevance any more.

Cage Mafia, ha ha ha. Internet gangs are gayer than double vag.

BTW, Monk, you shoulda used 56 as the outrageous # for my sports reference streak, homage to DiMaggio and whatnot. Keep reading my stuff though, maybe one day you'll. Get a grasp of how to be witty and interesting on the internets.

Great reference. Some douche not getting it does NOT make it bad.

So you are going with the assumption that I am not the original monkey but someone else who has stolen his name? If so I stand by my original statement in that the reference was too far a leap, with multiple levels of meanings that aren't made clear and using a subject 40 years in the past.
I mean my casino reference required a youtube link and that is half as aged as your multi level pig fuck of an analogy.




I think someone tipped their alt hand. Are you more of an electro music fan or say an older country music gentleman who enjoys to smoke? Very odd, but understandable.




I don't even think the poster understood it, let alone you and certainly not I.

Smelly Monkey Too,

It's not my fault that you're slow and require an explanation for my concise analogy. And the shit with Gallagher & his brother was more recent than Casino. The lawsuit was in 2000.



Yes, of course. Setting aside that I wouldn't know Gallagher even HAD a brother unless I knew the background story... I randomly referenced him in a haphazardly thrown together sentence which somehow made 100% sense, thereby creating a pitch-perfect analogy that sums up how most people feel about the current Monkey, all through a bizarre series of happenstance.

Who brings back worse 80's flashbacks?

Doug Hennings! He was one of the first impressions I ever did as a kid. I don't remember the specifics, just that it included a drawn-out hippy voice and also a lot of references to "illusions," "reality," and, "the world of magic!" Oh wait, maybe that was pretty much the whole thing: "ILLUSIONS become REALITY in the world of MAGIC!!!" I also did a pretty good Kwicky Koala.

Oh, and Monkey Too: fuck your thread. You've got clay feet.

i would have gone with a gruber brothers reference but this place does seem to be more about smashed fruit than terrorism as of late so fair enough.

hans and simon...

Die Hard with a Vengeance, 1995.

Yippee ki yay, mother fucker.

I got the gallagher bros reference right away but had to think who the fuck are the gruber brothers until I saw the second photo.

So what is it exactly? That I am the original monkey's brother? what is the point you are making, because I don't get it, and as it turns out only people who operate on your level "get it". Given the fact that there was a full 40 minutes between you first posting this until the final edit makes me believe that you are digging your heels in behind a story you are making up along the way.




Jesus Christ. (channels inner Bill Simmons). Ladies and gentlemen, these are my haters.

translation: loner in need of busy parents attention= andy kauffman like childhood but talent never developed, so now I give myself tattoos while listening to black flag (on vinyl) and watching the matrix without sound but subtitles.

You suck Steez.





Bullshit, you are the simplest motherfucker on the board. Wait, maybe you did get it :-/.

^^ yeah, right. I'm the simple one. This coming from the fifth generation of a One Trick Pony. Your shtick is so stale and played out. It's fitting that your beef involves Gallagher.

You just proved your lameness for us. Of course you are not the original Smegley Monkley. You are a vastly watered-down version. You know nothing of the porn business like the 2003 Monkey aka Mike Sullivan aka Frank Wank did. You're just trying to be some random internet tough guy. Except you have no knowledge of your material or your audience.

Funny, people used to guess who the Smelky Monkey was. Now, no one gives a random shit. How the self-annointed have fallen.

When you're ready for your own history lesson, Smonks, you let me know, and I'll point you to the relevant threads that encapsulate your previous identities. Loser.

Yes you are simple, the high point of your existence (Bukkake boy) is something that B rate mopes detest and only really take when their addiction has well and truly kicked in, you are looked down upon by 99.9999998% of society and take a guess who makes up the remaining percentage?






You memorize key threads by a porn board poster who hasn't been relevant in 6 years and I am the loser?

My mother?

Yes. Your mother.

Yeah, that's it. The high point of my existance was being a bukkake boy 6 years ago. Now who's being a simpleton? Get a clue, newbie. At least read through the old posts before coming on here and pretending to be a long term poster. The Smelly Monkey account has been reduced to knee-jerk Nelson Muntz. Ha-Ha!

Dang, you too, Barry?!!? I though we was tight, now you talking bout my mammy? Nutha cracka off my Cool List.

It seemed like a fun wagon to jump on. Like your mom. Bwa ha hadilly ha ha.

That's it, I'm leaving this site for good. Fuck y'alls. White peoples suck.

That's another good reference from a time long gone. Season 1, 1989-1990. Lemme see what else I can recall from that era...

LL Cool J: "MTV Beach Party...Put yo' hands in tha' air, and wave 'em like ya' just don't care!!!... Say 'Ho!'... Say 'Ho-Ho-Ho!!'... Now scream!!!!!... Spring break, 1990!! Spring break, 1990!!

Also:

Wait, Nelson still says Ha-ha in current episodes.

And I think LL Cool J still tells people to throw their hands in the air whenever he puts on a rap show. I wasn't criticizing your reference.

Haha, h2cit has more power than you. he can roam from forum to forum, your little penis is confined to the worthless Monky Cage. Can't delete threads any more, can't ban users any more...you're about as useful as a nun's vagina.

and jrv has owned you for years, trying to include him in your uber-sucksessful post is almost as lame as your numerous retirements.

I hear Leah Luv needs some help answering the phones over at Anarchy. Seems she is too strung out on heroin and Mandy is tired of supporting her. It's only minimum wage, but it's more than you're making now pretending to be some internet sensation whose 1.2 minutes of fame evaporated in 2004.

Looooooser.

Anarchy's still around?

What is Leah's rate for privates? Can she pass a HIV test?

why the hell isnt leah luv still infront of the camera?

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