Monks,

You claimed recently that the Cage was still relevant...yet only 1 new thread in the last month or so. Do you really care about "your" thread any more?

Or is it more likely that you are not the original Monkey? You were someone at JM who was given the userid and password and told to "go in and raise some Hell."

You've done a particularly piss-poor job at that. Whoever is controlling the new Monkey persona is a class-1 douchebag who is a far cry from the original Mike Sullivan who taunted Fayner back on LF 10 years ago.

Seriously, this joint should be moved into some "historic threads" section, where all of the shitty crap vomited up in here the last 3 years can be culled and moved to other places on the board.

And most importantly, Monkey, quit pretending to be a moderator. You never moderated anything in the Cage, you just kept retiring so someone else at JM or one of their friends could take some time to read and pretend to be the original Smelly Monkey.

I challenge you to respond to this post in 24 hours, with a link to what you consider to be your most famous contribution to XPT. Otherwise you will be considered an absentee landlord, or an outright fraud.

Tick tock, Monks.

Haha, he won't respond to this and why should he? You laid down an ultimatum for him. Who are you to do so?

Me, personally, I think you overplayed your hand. You're clearly someone's alt. It might have carried more weight if you'd posted as that original poster.

And Lou or H2C or SteveC, please verify pretty quick-like in here that I am not Ron Mexico having a conversations with myself al a Brandon.

I am Smelly Monkey.

I am Tiger Woods.

^verified one of a kind. and also not ron.

I am still Spartacus

You smell and look like a monkey. That doesn't make you Smelly Monkey.

I will prove it by throwing feces at you.

I am Andrew Breitbart.

i am uncircumsized and i think ron is either el glorioso or guapo.

"I challenge you to respond to this post in 24 hours, with a link to what you consider to be your most famous contribution to XPT. Otherwise you will be considered an absentee landlord, or an outright fraud."

this reminds me of what pacino said in the devils advocate and i think thats where you lifted it from.its almost like monkey is your god who has forsaken you.

Don't get too cocky my boy. No matter how good you are don't ever let them see you coming. That's the gaffe my friend. You gotta keep yourself small. Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... shit-kickin' surfer...

th^ts the best quote from al in that flick.

i'm pretty sure you're thinkin bill and ted frank.





not quite...

Whattaya sayin Lou? Rogan is Smelly Monkey?

hey fucker... this isn't the moon landing. there's no 1 easy answer. i do have 2 words for you though..

building. se7en.

new jr...http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/201...intcmp=features

old jr... http://blog.joerogan.net/archives/101

Omg Brandon, what is your obsession with posting pics of yourself with famous people? Are you hoping for relevance by proxy?

I've been around for plenty of time. Maybe I didn't lob the 1000s of post that some have, but that's just jibber jabber.

Of course, all SM had to do was post a link to the Marc Wallice thread (http://forum.jerkoffzone.net/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=16351&page=1), and I would have walked away with my tail between my legs. SM is the one who tried to challenge the assertion that the Cage is dead and has been for a long time.

This palce used to be awesome. People with some talent put some damned good stuff in here. k1ng and Arab's Nazi girls thread, Burglar's rants above everyone being the result of a creampie, Phlog's final meltdown...heck smartt's uber meltdown. Mopes coming in to say something, only to get their ass handed to them by some whore like Veronica Jett. The "analysis" of Luke Ford's event photos. Too many things to remember. But those days have been gone for years. And for anyone to claim this thread is still relevant is deluding themselves.

I'm not pretending to be the answer to this board. It's clearly lost its edge, well, except for the blatant racism that I admit to taking part in ::

Someone needs to take the reins and be more active on this board. The current SM user is clearly not the one who wrote the Marc Wallice thread, or baited Fayner, or baited Cindy Crawford, or who stirred the post and got other people to post. I suppose its because most porn people have turned a blind eye to XPT, mostly our own fault, so it's become a club of a few dozen posters. Which is fine, except it doesn't generate much outside interest.

I have no beef with you, Bornyo. It was a half decade late they asked you to be a moderator. You're the one guy who stuck it out for years, while others came and flared out. I'm just saying I think the Monkey userid has been as responsible for the decline of XPT as he was for its popularity.

After all, I spent time in the pokey for dog fightin', who the Hell am I?

Actually, Bornyo had been asked many times back in the day to be a mod, but he declined. And for the record, Ron, I know you're not an alt and I like your posts.

Because she hates the blaeks too.

Extremely lucid post Ron. None of the abject bitter that is your norm. Bravo.

That just makes you Ryan Knox.

I met Joe Rogan when I held a press conference to announce my MMA career. I have zero losses on my record. Please take note of this.

Is that what you advertise to the cow boys out in Canuckistan, Maul My Ass?

i guess its hard to lose any mma matches when youve never been in any huh brandon? link to veronica jett talking shit to mopes?

At least when Veronica Jett talks shit, she's talking about something she's been in.

that's not entirely true. when brandon mentions mma he knows all about being tapped out.

Yes, I have zero wins but I prefer to see my MMA record as having zero losses. It's called being an optimist.

So he is not the guy barred from porn capital number two for life. He is just passing the staff to the next generation. So much back he gives. Gimp.

I am the Egg Man.

Umm the Walrus suits you better !

Either way, koo koo katchu

You are a useless whiny faggot. Shut up. Just. Shut. Up.

@bornyo, you've been throwing the word "ultimatum" lately like its, well, an ultimatum. Get over yourself.

I happen to know whose alt ron is and I happen to like the both of youse, even when you're mad at me, which, for some reason you both seem to be. Get over it. The both of youse.

All that being said, I approve of this thread. I can't endorse it enough. Lick my hairy Irish nuts monkey.

Btw the same people will confirm that I'm not ron either.

You retards did everthing I called for now you're trying to call down your "dragon" smelly monkey with no reuslts... Boring Ho LOLZ




Even to the extent of Banning me and changing my Sig... You guys SUCK at least Gia still gets paid for sucking..

Nathaniel, that pic's making me feel my Gigi withdrawals even more painful. Stop. Making. Me. Fiend.

P.s. Every Christmas, I still hang the ornaments she made me.

I'll bet any money he's been sitting on that pic for weeks, masturbating feverishly at how clever he is.

Ok, Nate, you had your look at ne moment and now you've shot your wad. Happy?

Nate, why'd you change the pic?

Fragile li'l fuck, ain't he?

Wow, you're the first poster I've ever seen post while being banned. And I liked the fail fail fail sig you had earlier too. It was a visual warning about who they were dealing with before they even had to interact with you.

Did I miss something? Was Nate relevant for a minute?

he's working the martyr angle again isn't he?. darth did it so much better. you guys remember darth, yes?. quality hate-bot that one.

Usually when one sets an ultimatum, the threat of not following through is worse then to not. This is like a reverse ultimatum, in that im rooting for what he is offering if I don't do what he asks.

1) If I post what he wants, I gain the respect of some random fella on a spank board

ORRRRRRRR

2) I don't






To some extent, but the difference is I don't confuse children for angels.





So you admit that you are basically a lurker, yet question my contributions to the board? As when you post its just "jibber jabber" while the expectations of my posts are much higher because well , im me and you are you.




Don't sell yourself short, you will lurk the board back to its glory days




<mirror>




Was there much demand from the people to clarify this to begin with?

Any chance Monkey is both Nate and Ron, and just needs some attention for himself?

And if we gonna talk about mods that aint been around, who is with me wishing Monkey and Dino could switch places?

I will give $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove that I am not Smelly Monkey.
I will give $2,000,000 to anyone who can prove I have $1,000,000.

No one thinks you are Smelly Monkey.

better question...

Any chance everyone just lined up to get sniped like they've always done?.

Just smelly !

what if i do both?can i start choosing which whores you film so you can earn that money and then send it to me?

My camera is at the pawn shop as I had some short-term bridge financing problems. No shooting for me.
Yours truly,
S.M.

So you scummed Knox's account and Monkey's? I'm surprised you don't scum Electro's, so you can cop some dick picks, you fruity fuck. Please tell me you aren't Mexico, just arguing with your self again.

I may be a monkey but I'm not a monkey's uncle.

That is because your parents did the right thing and had all your potential siblings Roto Rootered prior to reaching daylight.

But you are a Donkey's best friend.

Death to Smoochy..

hi jm!

Smelly Monkey just put out a fatwa on Jerkules. Watch your back, man.

I like it when people bump shit that I posted in and forgot about. Much of the time I read my own comments and and wonder "What was I thinking" and/or "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

You and Monkey should form a lil group called Bull Tits, because you are both absolutely useless as mods. I have no clue the last time you used "Mod Powers" for anything. Monkey, probably the last time he didn't anything was banning Coke. Wait a minute....lemme put that one through my Insanely Convoluted Conspiracy Generator.......Yep, there it is.

If Coke wasn't soooo butt hurt by Monkey banning him, Coke probably wouldn't have forged an alliance w/ the Donkey and PWL wouldn't have been the Devil it was. Everbody knows Donkey is just a tool and Coke was the strategist. So it seems this Monkey pud was responsible for PWL's rapid expansion. Coco Loco, we need 45 minutes of excruciating monotone on this STAT.

P.S. I aint scared of no Monkey. Dude is Willie Mays in a Mets uniform at this point. Fuck, your Canadian, I gotta use a reference you'd understand. Guy Lafleur in a Nordique uniform?

Like the Nobel Prize, my Mod powers were granted to me due to my extraordinary achievement in the industry. I don't have to do anything ever again. I've made it.

1000% bull shit. You got your mod status, and for that matter being unbanned, when you signed your distribution deal with JM. Obviously Mike was feeling rather generous that day, since you had been banned from the site for almost 5 years.

We all know your lies, Brendan. Your little half-witticisms don't play here. Neither does your alleged community college degree. Go find a place in the middle of Great Slave Lake, attach a railroad tie to your leg, and jump off the boat. No one in Canada cares about you, no one in America cares about you. You are a failed pornographer who would be better wiped off the face of the earth. Fucking piece of shit.

Nothing funny or creative here, just angry nothingness.

I know, Sparky. With my posts usually being of such a stellar quality, you have come to expect it. Every once in a while a turd slips through though. Babe Ruth didn't hit a home run every time up. John Elway didn't complete every pass. No one bats 1.000. Shit, you haven't been over the Mendoza line since what, '05?

as usual I have no idea what the fuck you assholes are talking about..

Jerk you've never hit a home run. Physically, metaphorically or literarally. Literally.

He was talking about doing it figuratively. Idiot.

And literally and physically hitting a home run are the same thing.

What do you know...another knoxfail.

^^ redundant, at this point^^

Quite possibly not, but I'll keep taking my doubles off the wall, compared to you getting thrown out on dribbling bunts.

Was "Darth" ever outed/identified?

Darth was Guapo.

Smegma Monkey is also One Liner Larry, Lame Or Cool Guy, Ghost of Burg, and DrPornz haha

Please don't tell me he's Dr. Sniffles and Bree Olsen's Chair Leg. You ruined Larry for me, let me have them.

I thought Darth was powder.

Not to be confused with Darrah... Wonder what happened to her...

Vanished after the Weinergate fiasco. Sources tell me she has popped up on twitter, under other names. Other sources said that she was with child. Her greatest asset was consistency. She was consistently 3-4 days late on a story, and she was consistently off her meds. I'd still love to see what she looks like.

We never did find out. She disappeared along with electrostatic, who definitely seemed to be on some meds or other substance stronger than caffeine.

No. To my knowledge, the cat and the chair are different people, with similar predilections. Monkey's alts are lame, at least Bree's Chair leg is somewhat humorous. Even Mike Sullivan as Monkey was never comfortable in live chat settings. He only tried one whore chat sessions, which lasted for several hours, and could barely muster two questions. Which leads me to believe the Monkey ID had gone from employees at JM. Obviously JeffMike is no longer running the company, he's no longer the custodian of record on anything that JM claims is original (hint: many JM titles came from Legend..."The Violation Of..."

Monkey is just a knowledge challenged poster who has no idea about the userid and what it represented.

I wonder if lame or cool guy would dare to post a poll in here,

I John Garfield know You aren't SM, can't prove it unfortunatly without a MOD giving Me access to My old screen names(which I forgot the password, or even the fucking email they were attached to)

They can only help if you have a thread you don't want moved. It won't be helping you tho.

id have a million dollars, if someone would just give me a million dollars.if is a pretty big thing.