http://www.efukt.com/20975_The_Worst_Cumshot_Of_All_Time.html

Care to comment B.I.?

Yes, I would care to comment. My comment is: I already posted a link to this award-awaiting scene in MY thread. Now you go and steal it. Who do you think you are? Man, let me win!

Bi did you see this?. http://www.databreaches.net/?p=23518
dp is shut down right now.

Will someone please give me a few credit card numbers with CCVs? I have some outstanding bills I need to pay off, starting with my credit card bill.

Just wanted everyone to be able to see this masterpiece without having to scroll through post after post of your illogical babbling.

Yellow cum?!??!?! Which STD caused that one?

A suffered the effects of a potent Trader Joe's multivitamin along with some residual neon-green pee.

Now you need to explain why you are yellow in your own way.

Mustard is as Mustard does.

I get embarrassed for Brandon for his lack of shame. I know he is tightly wrapped up in the delusion that he "fucks tons of hot chicks", so therefore he is bulletproof, BUT it is clear he is a very sick man, with severe psychological issues probably stemming from inadequacy at a family level (distant and neglective ice fishing father or perhaps moderate sexual abuse from a second level family member, aunt, older socially awkward cousin,etc).


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arD1Hmjlqag

The slerp. It is alive.

The question on everyone's mind, Monkey, is just how bulletproof you are. Bring your 9mm and let's see how it does against my .357 Trojan Magnum.

Im not at all, I feel shame, guilt & am capable of taking responsibility for my actions. All qualities that are the make up of a human. I don't believe that ship has sailed on you yet brandon, but the seas are rough.

My actions have created thousands of hours of quality adult entertainment. I am guilty of living too much, loving too much.
Get back on the Costa Monkordia, Capt. Monkey.
This is my new first mate...


As a reader of the blog at www.brandoniron.com, I'm sure you saw the other pics of her. You're welcome.

You know BI, I use to try and cut you some slack because you are Canadian, and because you got to fuck Tera Patrick. Well, she was paid to fuck you, but whatever. But your whole shtick is getting pretty lame. You're a balding midget troll who is an embarrassment to your entire family. And you seem blissfully unaware of those facts.

Tell me Brandon, have you ever shared any sort of intimacy with a woman that wasn't paid to be next to you?

My shtick is 43 now. Yes, it's getting old. There is nothing I can do other than keep shticking it where and when I can.

Like today, for example.
http://blogs.pornstarnetwork.com/brandoniron/2012/03/10/naomi/

Since you didn't respond to my question, I am going to assume it's zero.

And BI, that chick is below average. I wouldn't fuck her if she paid me. Yet you paid her to fuck you. Yikes!!!!

I apologize, Mr. Durden, and promise to run all future bookings through you for your approval. My next date is in 11 hours and 8 minutes. The one after that will be in 23 hours and 8 minutes. The one after that will be in 23 hours and 8 minutes.

Now you are intimately acquainted with my lack of intimacy issues. How I wish I could just wake up to the same woman day after day after day after day after day.

My life is horrible! Look, I even have to work on Sundays!

Looking back, I don't know what I was thinking hiring an 18 year old newbie with big natural tits who swallows. Please have efukt put up a clip when it comes out entitled The Worst Casting of All Time.

And how much are you paying these ugly whores to have "dates" with you? How many of them stick around once you've handed over the cash? How many would come over without the promise of money?

The fact that you don't see how pathetic you are, is the truly funny thing about it.

Tell me Brandon, have you ever had a relationship with a female that didn't require you having a camera man present, or a contract signed before hand?

If Brandon puts anymore photos in this thread the XPT lexicon CoD will become short for Canadian of Death.

Why wait? L_ke's long gone and Brandon's already a Carrier of Disease.

I pay the models whatever they ask for. Some ask for a little; others ask for a lot. All I know is that some models don't realize a 1,000,000 lira note expired a long time ago.

Some ladies go out for a coffee or a drink but it's up to them. You place a great deal of value on spending time together but that's not what this business is all about. Paying someone for their time shows that you value and respect it. I've worked minimum wage jobs and didn't feel respected in the least. Imagine how an 18 year old woman feels when she earns a month's salary in an hour.

To me, pathetic is not being true to yourself. It's acting fake around others and lying to yourself. I love meeting women and having my cock sucked. It's incredibly fun and fulfills a lot of fantasies.

Enjoy your relationship, if you have one, and I hope you are buried next to your one true love when you die. This assumes, of course, you don't wind up like over 50% of married couples who divorce. I'm sure the remainder are perfectly happy all day, every day, and never put on a front to others.

Now be honest and tell me if you want to see the pic of the lovely lady I met today.

excellent reply Sir Brandon! Yoou are the epitome of greatness

So you're a mustard fan? What are gonna say when Brandon Eventually starts spewing ketchup outa his gangrenous caverject dirty needle infected little Iron?

Brandon, rumor has it that instead of getting crabs from the skanks, you are going straight to the source. Any truth to that?

I enjoyed an 8-armed handjob as much as the next guy.

ive said this before but you should book aletta ocean in lieu of like 3 or 4 of your normal whores for a shoot.treat yourself lil buddy.

Anyone who has figured me out knows that I have zero self control and even less patience or ability to defer gratification. Seek head. It's what I do. I like to reach into the grab bag of porn and pull out whatever I can get my hands on.

I made a new friend today, for example. Suzy travelled for 2 hours by bus, then took a metro to come see me.

10 minutes after walking in door.


12 minutes after walking in door.


13 minutes after walking in door.


15 minutes after walking in door.

Question? How often do you change the sheets? Are you going green or something (other than your dick)? It appears that you ave only 2 or three sheets that you rotate on an every third day basis.

In a word..

YUCK

Nice ass on that one. She got some wonky titties er sumptin? I she that arm tight to her side and wonder if she's hiding some fried eggs.

I am a frugal man. I sleep on that multi-colored cot thingee. I do laundry twice a week but stopped using the comforter (seen in other pics) after ripping it during some rough sex with Nikky Thorn. We literally tore it up. Now I have to replace it.

Suzy's eggs are perfect hatchlings, firm and perfect to the touch. The only thing fried was my brain after it was scrambled seeing how perfect her 20 year old body is.



I hear what you are saying about Aletta Ocean, Frankie. I never met her and know nothing about her other than she is very beautiful. Having said that, my preference has always been for ladies newer on the scene. Pros tend to read me pretty quickly as a mark. Last week, I shot a model who has been around for several years. She has worked for all the big companies and has featured for Private. Our meeting went as follows: she walked in the door and announced she had to leave in one hour. A little bit less, actually. It was rush rush rush. Hurry up. Don't do this. No, you can't do that. C'mon, c'mon.....what's taking so long? (Implied but not said.) Why all the rush? She had a plane to catch. I was just the guy paying chump money so she could go see the big fish in some other locale. Fuck that. Gimme wide-eyed does taking their first steps in the game. I tipped out today's girl, for example, just to thank her for a great time. I appreciated the fact that she spent 2 hours coming to see me and would turn around and take 2 hours going right back home. She was awesome to meet and I would see her again any day. She was happy for the gig. I was happy to meet her. Win-win.

Yep, them titties is good.

Imagine having a young lady like her say "thank you" just as she hugs you and says goodbye. It's fucking mind-blowing.

Most people say thank you after you hand them money.

So what is your long term plan spewer? Your on the other side of 40 headed rapidly towards retirement age. You've spent a majority of your "high earning" years in The United States and Not in your mother land so I assume their nanny state programs aren't going to work for you. Your not iconic like Ron Jeremy nor as successful as Peter North. (your fellow Canadian). Are you going to end up on some underpass with a sign saying "will Jack My Dick for caverject"?

Actually, Jerkules, you'd be surprised to learn how many people feel they are entitled to a free lunch.

Nate, my plan is to go mainstream. You can look at the downside but all I see is the upside. I'm the leading 43-year-old Canadian balding male erotic model under 5'7". I'm a Canadian Costanza who just might wind up working for the Yankees. My high earning years are being turned into high yearning years, making me hungrier than ever.

Quote of the year

No Youre the Anti Bonoaduce



Which isn't saying much....

Suzy and Brandon
Sitting on a couch
Sucking, swallowing
He's no slouch

First comes fun
Then comes fun
Then comes fun
Then comes fun
Then comes fun...

The beast looks too Caucasian for the nose. The rings are almost Irish. Tough luck.

She looks Good Brandon

She Jar Jar-ed my dink.

You must have been one of those handsome-boy graduates...

My original stage name was Sparkles, it's true.
"Need I remind you that I am a male model, not a male prostitute."

6 of one .......

5'6" of the other.

:-)

Damn Brandon, Do you buy those white tees by the gross???

No, I buy them to hide the gross.

He buys them by the Baker's Dozen.

C'mon B, you're slippn'

I'll slit my wrist while Gia sits on my face............drunk.

It's nice to know that Gia is thinking about me. Not as much as I think about her, but still it's good.

Are Canadian dozens different from the more correct US version of a dozen?

Yeah, they bad mouth each others dads instead of moms.

^^^I just spit my coffee laughing at this.

Brandon is the best comic relief in porndom. I come for the pics of awkward porn newbs, I stay for the jokes.