I'm bringing back the '70s porn stache. Will I be as successful as Harry Reems? Only time will tell.


My newfound and newly-ended mainstream career: http://blogs.pornstarnetwork.com/brandoniron/2012/02/04/moby-dick/

You've accepted that position with Falcon, then? Pipe Dream will be pleased.

I was going for the pedo stache but it came in as a more mature look.

Super Twink

The not so super Mario forgot his wig. Or ran out of hair colour.

But you have to admit, it's very 70's. Or Aryan Brotherhood.

Maybe. I do not know anything of substance about the Aryan Brotherhood. Moustaches just look ridiculous. Even more so when they shave and style them into a small strip. Whoever lands there ought to bring some Agent Orange.

Would anyone care to buy me a "Free Moustache Rides" t-shirt?

I thought of them because when they had that trial for the two heads of AB, they both had these huge mustaches. I assume that having creative facial hair = looking good for your cellie is pretty important.

It provides some friction for the interested.

I guess the herp spread to your face?

I assume the slerp conquered your brain.

Are you bringing this shirt back too ?

That shirt, like its owner, is a classic. Plus, stripes are thinning.

I'm now bringing back the '90s I've-fallen-through-the-safety-net look. Seriously, though, I know many Yankees are holding lavish Super Bowl parties today. If any of you have leftover, unwanted nachos or finger foods, I would greatly appreciate them. I'm a poor hunter and an even worse gatherer.

I was going to post a picture of Brandon next to Final Fight's Mike Haggar for reference, but I found this picture of mayor Haggar pile-driving a shark and thought it would be a neater thing to put up.

Skylar McBee [I call him McWadd] Tennessee's 3 point specialist.

I am meeting with a doctor who swears he can transplant my facial hair to my head. The real winner this Super Bowl Sunday is ME!

Comment wasn't intended for you dumb ass. It was meant for the mother fucker who is synonymous with herpes. Last I checked, on XPT that person was BI, not you. Who the fuck are you anyway? Go back to resume your duties as a boil on JB's ass.

^^^His duties are rapidly becoming redundant. He needs to develop a new schtick. Maybe another vacation from this place would fix him up.

How to you plan to pay him?

Once more someone cannot read around here and Jimbo gets on the confusion train. JasonH, whoever you might be, the reply was not necessarily meant for you, just to mention that your logic thing is flawed at least this once. For the rest of it, seek out some rancid crevice to slip in.

The government pays our doctors here in Canada. I get FREE health care. I just might get a complimentary proctology exam soon....so there.

I am the picture of health. To prove it, here is a picture of the picture of my health.

Once again, Q.E.D. He's so predictable it's tiresome.

As for the other thing, Stewie, Panzer's got you covered in the other thread.

Another freakish abortion from the retarded pitbull wannabe.

Q.E.D.

Brandon, I have a friend who lives in Calgary and does some theatre, please stay away from her, I don't want her Slap Happy.

Nonsense. I do theatre as well as theater. Your friend and I have a lot in common. We might hit it off.

You're finally dressing your real life part, a French Canadian hobo.

Those are my street clothes, I'll have you know. That is the changing room in the mainstream venue at which I made my mainstream debut. If I failed to make it clear, I will do so now: I've gone mainstream. Insiders at AVN were quoted as saying, "What?? We had no idea Iron was eclipsing Grey in Hollywood North! We would have sent someone to cover it."

Off the record, I was told I am a lock for Mainstream Crossover of 2012.

By street clothes you mean clothes you found lying in the street somewhere in some small town in Saskatchewan? I am assuming that particular province due to the lack of NHL insignia anywhere on the clothes.

Half the valley knows he crossed over a long time ago. More gay to stay than gay for pay.

My wool cap covers my bald head quite nicely, don't you agree?
Look, I'll get straight to the point. My 3 day mainstream gig is finished and I find myself....ahem....with a great deal of time on my hands. I put all my money on the Patriots to win, too.
In closing, I am available to entertain at Canadian venues for the next while or until my calls to Mr. Soderbergh are returned.
Does anyone have any contacts at any sites where "users" upload content and get paid for downloads?

You missed out on that scam BI. You coulda uploaded your own shit, and got paid for people pirating it. Probably woulda done better than the warehouse job you were at.

I know what's good. I have a connoisseur's eye for good porn. All I need is the introduction to the right people. Some may even be on this board. Please help. I've outgrown my mainstream opportunity.

Trendy or cheesy ?

Jack Black and Johnny Drama need something to break up the monotony of their faces.

Sean Penn looks pedo.

Is the guy next to Penn the singer from the Killers?

Who says the two are mutually exclusive?

Lemme guess, road company of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?

No....Moby Dick. I'm serious. They needed guys with big white dicks.

I thought it was Kelso?

ya mean Mopey Dick?

Wait.....white dicks? That's all there is in Canada.

Is the internet broken or something? It's February 16th and I'm still enjoying the December issue online at www.avn.com. I guess I can read it one more time...fine.

They'll update when Fabian the owner tells them to.

In the meantime, I am very well-versed in all things December 2011. Merry Christmas, everyone....except have2cit. You get coal, again.

here ya go Bitch Tits.

https://buymaxtall.com/ (warning, audio starts as page loads. It is a safe for work site though.)

You've reached the height of stupidity.

But you're used to looking up at even stupid folks from the depths of height challenged mopedom. :-)

My inability to find appropriate work during my entire adult life has nothing to do with my vertical-challengedness. I predict big things in 2012. All I have to do is sit at home and wait for the world to pave a path of gold to my door.

The opera world is still abuzz about my debut in Moby Dick. I am waiting for offers from Milan, London, and Vienna.