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#174672 - 06/20/06 10:45 AM
Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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Let's be honest: we all kiss a little ass in life. It's almost impossible not to. But some suckups go too far: One suckup gets your boss' coffee every morning...another goes to get the mail. This thread is dedicated to the whore-worshippers whose desire to go fanboy is/was beyond the pale. firewall  firewall is known to the older posters as one of the rash of inveterate fanboys (tobymills, jennasangel1, noahped) who registred here in droves January 2005 when Jenna Jameson decided to throw a few sticks around with Kami Andrews. The fanboys were incredulous that such a star would drop down so low and to register at XPT. But the lemmings they are, they too registered and tried to defend their princess. Real Name: John Website: Firewall's DiaryXPT User: 1600. Active: MIA ADT Active: Thankfully, no Schtick: Extensive hyperbole. Favorite Whores to Stalk: He's a Jenna Jameson contract stalker.  Fanboy in XPT action: "Oh, I see, it's ok to continue attacking me cos I stuck up for Jenna? Fine, if that's what you want Monkey. Personally, I'd rather stop sniping and get on with the forum. I speak with an English accent and I'm not gay. I have enough trouble having the `minority' status of having cerebral palsy without being gay too. That would be too much like a bad joke...." XPT Tribute to Firwall Other Notable Fanboy Moments: Too long to print. Here's an excerpt.bauer024[no photo avaiable to fit within this small space] In reality, Dan is probably harmless...he follows the business side of the business, likes to chime in on the ADT birthday threads. But Dan is a big lover of the Belladonna community. When one of their own (gypsy) smoked a little too much tree and wandered into a major-league ass whipping here from the Cage Mafia, Dan got himsef all hot and bothered over it...nutting himself up on enterbelladonna.com for a big stick fight, only to register here and lay down one of the weakest retorts ever recorded on the internet. Real Name: Dan Website: Can't spell well enough to finish the DNS registration XPT User #: 3593Active: No ADT Active: Yes Schtick: I'm gonna go tell those meanies what's what! (harrumph) Favorite Whores to Stalk: A lover of many (Jenna Haze, Nautica Thorn, several other Asians), Dan's true muse is Belladonna. Fanboy in XPT action: "hey guys i think its time we start respecting the girls gypsy is a cool girl and deserves our respect i feel we need to get along ok"Notable quotes: -- "it[sic] does not mater[sic] i[sic] am going to go over there and speak my peace insted[sic] of sitting on my ass and doing nothing[sic] like i been[sic] doing in my life for 37 years " "i[sic] oculd[sic] not find the thread over ther[sic] ei[sic] am signed up and i[sic] will find them i[sic] respect what your[sic] saying skillz but they need to know they know nothing about bella fuckign[sic] bums that is what they are is bums." Sal Mckvey Welcome to the bizarro-world of Sal, where he hangs out regularly with Nina Hartley, where he owns both Vivid Video, Digital Playground and about a dozen other production companies, where Steve Hirsch has signed a fat, bisexual rag-headed male fanboy to an exclusive performance contract. It is delusional in a way that makes you go  . It doesn't even begin to make sense, but I guess Sal has spent enough time in Mom's basement among the paint fumes that it is real to him. When not running his porn empire and escort service, Sal is employed at the Randall family's local flower shop (probably where Holly got those bean seedlings). Sal is an XPT proprietary fanboy--thanks to Monstar for finding this gem. A concerted effort did lure Sal over here around Christmas time. Alas, his stay was brief--he had to get ready for AEE and all. Real Name: Thankfully I don't know Website: http://www.porn-prince.blinkz.com http://salmckveyxxx.blogspot.com http://www.myspace.com/salmckveyxxxXPT User #: 3164Active: No ADT Active: No Schtick: Inserts himself into other whores' signings and press releases. Runs a "scort" agency between his ears. Favorite Whores to Stalk: Mainly Aria Giovanni Fanboy in XPT action: All you need to see is right here.Notable quotes: "The God of Masturbatory Memories." Still to come: ac cream noahped/chuck sportswami saratoga120 watch guy bono-one david69 pris/nago
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#174673 - 06/20/06 10:52 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Icon
Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 3440
Loc: Jaundice Town
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excellent...i have often seen references to Firewall but didnt know his deal. thanks
_________________________
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#174675 - 06/20/06 11:13 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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The Sal one was my favorite.
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#174676 - 06/21/06 02:35 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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I want a trading card series of this now!!!  Do you have 'Top Trumps' in America? It's like a card game (sold in various themed sets) where you contest a given value (if it was cars, for example, you pick speed or miles per gallon, and if the car on your card is faster or gets more MPG than your opponents, you win his card) until you have won all of your opponents cards and they are out of the game. I think 'Porn Fanboy Top Trumps' would be great fun, plus the cards could also be used to cut out lines of coke, speed, and meth too!  'My AC Cream outweighs your Sal Mckvey...hand it over!' Hours of fun for the whole family!!! 
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#174678 - 06/21/06 02:50 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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This was classic. Ah, the memories...Smiling Arab on Sal's blog:
Sal: hi
what do you mean???
write back
adult star
sal mckvey
xxx
1:20 PM
smiling arab said...
Sal, I would like to sodomize you with a pair of spiked oven mits. Could you work that out for me? xoxo Arab
11:07 AM
smiling arab said...
I... I'm sorry for that last comment. The longer I view your porcine thighs, the more bewitched I become by your sexual power.
Sal, you must get me into the biz. I have a 7 inch dick, which isn't bad for a Semitic people, but more importantly I know how to use it. You must do this for me, it is my destiny, I want to be as big a star as you and no one but you can make it happen. I have lots of disposable income and a fetish for pudgy Mexican gardeners. Make it so!
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#174679 - 06/21/06 07:27 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 123
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The Fanboy Compendium  Any time the word fanboy is used, it should be linked back to this thread.
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#174680 - 06/21/06 04:53 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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#174682 - 06/21/06 05:32 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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Attachments
168011-c.jpg (38 downloads)
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#174687 - 06/22/06 07:19 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 1291
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I'll tell you when I noticed the titles. It was when jamesn had the pic of the smiling preppy guyy and his title saiud "Human Garbage". That was great. I laughed and I sounded like thjast guy in that old 'The Mummy'. I also laugh a lot when Mussolini told a person in Talent for Hire "Touy've got stroke potential". That might be THE defining xxxpornotalk for me. That was really funny/\, 
I don't even remember saying that, but I'm happy that the funniest current poster thinks I'm funny.
I like how he refers to you as Mussolini
i think that's why he thought it funny... the irony of a long dead italian dictator discussing a girl's "stroke potential"
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#174689 - 06/27/06 01:13 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 591
Loc: South of Heaven
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this guy needs to be profiled
http://www.myspace.com/jimtez
I love how he captions his pictures "I love being me"
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that's hot- paris hilton
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#174694 - 08/15/07 03:23 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Ahhh, good stuff. This is the guy who lives on ADT and slobbers all over the whores for the past 18+ months. Most of the respected posters (yes, ADT has a few) seem to think he's an obnoxious buffoon. I don't know or care what the whores think.
ONWARD, to the gallery!
Photo #1: Man, he looks suave, doesn't he?
Attachments
255891-arin001.jpg (139 downloads)
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#174695 - 08/15/07 03:23 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Is this Carlito Cool from the WWE?
Attachments
255893-arin003.jpg (115 downloads)
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#174697 - 07/18/08 02:32 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Sal Mckvey
Welcome to the bizarro-world of Sal, where he hangs out regularly with Nina Hartley, where he owns both Vivid Video, Digital Playground and about a dozen other production companies, where Steve Hirsch has signed a fat, bisexual rag-headed male fanboy to an exclusive performance contract. It is delusional in a way that makes you go . It doesn't even begin to make sense, but I guess Sal has spent enough time in Mom's basement among the paint fumes that it is real to him. When not running his porn empire and escort service, Sal is employed at the Randall family's local flower shop (probably where Holly got those bean seedlings). Sal is an XPT proprietary fanboy--thanks to Monstar for finding this gem. A concerted effort did lure Sal over here around Christmas time. Alas, his stay was brief--he had to get ready for AEE and all.
Real Name: Thankfully I don't know
Website: http://www.porn-prince.blinkz.com http://salmckveyxxx.blogspot.com
http://www.myspace.com/salmckveyxxx
XPT User #: 3164
Active: No
ADT Active: No
Schtick: Inserts himself into other whores' signings and press releases. Runs a "scort" agency between his ears.
Favorite Whores to Stalk: Mainly Aria Giovanni
Fanboy in XPT action: All you need to see is right here.
Notable quotes: "The God of Masturbatory Memories."
Cryan on lockdown Bump. 
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#174698 - 07/18/08 06:53 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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#174700 - 02/08/09 06:19 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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ADT regular
Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 6
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I think Anime Nut should be added to the list. Chubby, rabidly comes to the defense of pw's on ADT, plus he likes Anime (and probably Hentai). Isn't that creepy enough?
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#174701 - 02/08/09 07:53 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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Quote:
I think Anime Nut should be added to the list. Chubby, rabidly comes to the defense of pw's on ADT, plus he likes Anime (and probably Hentai). Isn't that creepy enough?
Your post is useless without pics of said fanboi.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#174702 - 02/09/09 06:15 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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ADT regular
Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 6
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I don't need to post one, the guy posts pics he takes of PW's at AEE the last few years. You can can see him for yourself because he links to his flickr account there anyway.
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#174703 - 02/11/09 08:33 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#539591 - 01/05/12 06:43 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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J.B.
Unregistered
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ERIC IAFD Eric IAFD is the fanboi’s fanboi. We can say no less about a man who’s spent years selflessly collecting and collating whore data so that he and the other members of the Firewall Brigade knew when to send their favorite whores the ol’ birthday watch. A man whose tale of persistence, grit and determination gives hope to fanbois everywhere that they, too, can lose their virginity to a pw at the tender age of 28 and beat the stalking rap. His trademark modesty won’t allow him to acknowledge his de facto status as first among fanbois, though. In fact, most days he can be found straining to find the firewall in others while playing down his own achievements in fanboidom. It’s time we acknowledged this man’s greatness once and for all and proclaim Eric King of the Fanbois. AKA: Auggie, Jack Schitt, EricWho?, Laugingstock, Dick Dastardly, The Defendant Real Name: S/A/A Website: www.iafd.comXPT User No.: 3323 Active: Entertainingly so. ADT Active: No. Banned years ago, still whining about it. Schtick: Stalking, whining, corny ‘70s racist quips, anachronistic facial hair. Favorite Whores to Stalk: Bree “Rae-Rae” Olsen Fanboy in XPT action: I was the 28 year old virgin. Eat that motherfuckers…
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#539600 - 01/05/12 07:33 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
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First time reading through this thread and I had to put this thought down before I forgot.
"Cage Mafia" HAHAHAHAH. Where is the fag gremlin. You guys had a Cage Mafia?? oofffaaahhh. Named message board cliques are like the ultimate in gay. And to call it a mafia. WOW. I never expected such a thing from this joint.
Sorry old timers. I'll go back to reading.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral 
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#539606 - 01/05/12 08:15 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: bushwhacked]
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Whoremaster
Registered: 06/16/07
Posts: 2512
Loc: Slumberland
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I think Anime Nut should be added to the list. Chubby, rabidly comes to the defense of pw's on ADT, plus he likes Anime (and probably Hentai). Isn't that creepy enough? Fiend and CDQ are both anime lovers as well I believe. Just sayin'
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#539607 - 01/05/12 08:23 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
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Figgs too I think.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
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#539632 - 01/06/12 12:17 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5211
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
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Aw yeah. The first Eric "I'm gonna kick your ass" post of the new year. I can tell already, it's going to be a good year. Where's Bish? I feel wave coming on...
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward
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#539639 - 01/06/12 05:51 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
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Ah, if it ever came down to it, as ref, I'd make each of you anger-bots drink a 6 pack before the scrap, and you'd probably be best friends before the 4th one.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
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#539669 - 01/06/12 09:19 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 7598
Loc: a site known for its tolerance...
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I'll come out . we can get a Guiness or two later and squash this.
_________________________
"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock
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#539673 - 01/06/12 09:30 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
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Don't go bumpin me from my ref spot.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
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#539681 - 01/06/12 10:40 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: tattypatty]
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@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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I'll come out . we can get a Guiness or two later and squash this. yeah if jerky is handing out free six packs i'm there too.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#539682 - 01/06/12 10:58 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
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You only get a free one, if you have a fight scheduled.
Who you going to call out Lou?
Can't be Brandon, with his travel issues. Plus, Paperchase has first dibs. How about Panzer? If not you, I'm sure someone around here would like to take a swing at that furry weirdo.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
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#539683 - 01/06/12 11:04 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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J.B.
Unregistered
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If you're going to buy me a six of Guinness every night of those 28 years I'm waiting for eric to man up and make good his threats, this might be worth my time, after all.
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#539684 - 01/06/12 11:09 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
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No, just the afternoon in the supermarket parking lot. The six pack will be payment for signing away your rights to the video. Bumfights isn't around, so I'll have to sell it to World's Wildest Street Fights.
Bumfight guys gave Bling Bling a crack rock as payment for the residuals on his DVD. I'm the Just Say No type, so I can't give you 2 crack. Although I'm sure it would make for a better fight.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral
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#539685 - 01/06/12 11:18 AM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: Willie D]
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J.B.
Unregistered
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The fuck? I could get a better deal out of Panzer. Anyways, from the pic above it looks like eric couldn't handle a Guinness. What is that weak swill that's got you so pig eyed, Eric?
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#539702 - 01/06/12 12:50 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: drained]
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J.B.
Unregistered
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Oh, Jimbo got rattled in his crypt again and wants to clean the coffin. Speaking of mangling the language, Stewie, what does that even mean? Between Eric's 23-pt eruptions and your pretentious whinefests it's going to be one of those weekends.
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#539714 - 01/06/12 01:32 PM
Re: Meet The Fanboys
[Re: drained]
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J.B.
Unregistered
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Yes, it's dark in there. And cold after the shit in his pants acclimates. So this is one of your German Scheisse fantasies, huh? Old Man River might have gone for that when you were pretending to be Sasha, but I doubt your new pal eric will, despite calling himself "Jack Schitt" for years. Maybe Panzer'll have a go at it, though.
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0 registered (),
474
Guests and
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Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
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, the more I can work on something like that. But there is NO way a dozen crusty pizza boxes trump an entire alternate reality! 
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