I wish there was a spycam to stream video of Alex trying to put the thing together. Stripped out particle board, trip to the store for wood glue. Trip to second store because he is amazed at the price of wood glue. Back to the first store because its price was better and they had some PVC fittings that might make a good butt plug. Home to make second attempt. More fail. Back to hardware store for drywall screws.

If you would have bought an antique, it would have been an investment, not a purchase. And 4-6 pins, pop the doors on, screw on the back and done. Starting at a thousand. Instead you spent 4bills on something you will kick apart and leave on the curb when you move.