Dr. Sniffles, if some irresponsible porn star refuses to feed you, I'll put you up in Connecticut. However you'll have to share litter boxes with a maine coon, but it can't be any worse then sharing a house with Rachael.
I called dibs on that cat many moons ago, 'Chase. lulz
And Dr. Sniffles is a Maine Coon, FWIW. My mother has one now that they found in roaming around their outdoor wood pile little more than a year ago. Our family had one for 22 years, they're almost human.