-literally, when people actually don't fucking mean literally.

It makes me want to kill them. Figuratively.....

Same is true when people try to "connect" with bank tellers, post office counter people, register workers, etc. They hold up the line and make workers' jobs harder and inconvenience the others on line.

I know these people don't work for tips, but it's the same principle.

These people who hols up lines with their bullshit, will tell you that they are spreading kindness and love. But really they are spreading their self-centered, ego-driven, "look how interesting and ammusing I can be" nonsense.

I've had dates before that have this unrealistic expectation of what "friendly" should be when it comes to servers. We'd get a server that was friendly enough, and somewhat in a hurry, and that would somehow equate to them being "rude" and less worthy of a decent tip in their eyes. These people are hustling from table to fucking table and these chicks expect them to be some kind of uber-polite, counselor type that need to spend extra time convincing us that their attitude is up to snuff. I hate when people expect food service or retail employees to go above and beyond what their minimum wage calls for. There's a big difference between "rude" and "politely efficient" and I've met soooo many people that can't differentiate between the two.

Down South if they aren't terribly busy, folks expect a little small talk before getting down to business. Up North, not so much.

For anything where a cash register or money transaction is brought into play I find that people are far more likely to slow down the line and make the person at the register want to head butt them by not being able to remember the pin number to their debit card, not having enough money in their account to pay for said transaction with the card they are using, and not being able to fucking add the total of the shit they are buying before they get to the register to be much more of a problem.

Nothing is more aggravating then having someone with 150 items in front of you at the grocery store only to have to have the cashier take off 40 of the items that were rung up so the total will get low enough for their debit card or check to go through.

The cash equivalent of this is the idiot that buys a $50 phone card, a $15 phone charger, and a $60 dollar video game while having $80 dollars of cash on him and is shocked to find out the total after tax is in excess of $125 dollars. Of course this idiot is sure that something must have been rung up twice.
This isn't advanced calculus you fucking moron. It's simple fucking addition.

The only people who may possibly be considered more annoying at a checkout line are the douchebags who have to wait until right when they check out to call someone about something completely unrelated to the transaction and wait until they are done talking before they pay. Hitler was right about these people. They should be sterilized as quickly as possible.

Stupidity-causing 99% of the world's problems since the invention of fire.

^ People who get in the 15 items or less lane with 40+ items ! ...and the fucking cashier that allows it !

"irregardless"

Fuck, while we're going there, how about AT-fuckingM's?! Even with multiple transactions, it takes me 3 minutes MAX at the ATM. I've never seen another person get the job done in under 10 minutes. It's funny too, because if there's just ONE person in the ATM line, I'll park and go inside knowing that I'll save at least two minutes doing so. Then the teller reminds me that there's an ATM outside to faster serve my needs. I then have a ball going on a rant about how that would be ideal if people weren't retarded with their 20 minute ATM visits. The teller then gets this look of shock as if they don't know what I'm going on about.

I'm super self conscious when I'm on line. If there are people behind me, it's ordering from the Soup Nazi time. I'm smiling, happy, "you have a great day too" and I'm gone. I hate assholes who think everyone's on their schedule, so they can lolligag all day.

Totally agree with fartz on ATMs. The machine, not the mouth full of wang and poop. There's like a total of 7 or 8 buttons to push. All the answers are simple ones you should already know. But they still sit there in front of you. I fucking hate people.

"conversating"

tgif

420.

Let me google how to xerox that tweet.

the 411
the low down
i like to party
let's party
target-rich environment
family values

Production values.

win-win
at the end of the day ...
you owe me another keyboard
i just threw up in my mouth a little
git 'er done
it's for the children

Yes, think about the children.
... it's kinda... like... you know... No, I don't.

Saying or typing "Wow. Just wow." in response to someone else's political viewpoint. I see this all the time in comments about news articles. Yes, "Wow. Just Wow," someone actually disagrees with your shit-headed, narrow-minded viewpoint of the world.

One that I'm guilty of that I've sworn off as of late is the classic, shrugging "What can ya' do?" when someone tells me about some particular bullshit aspect of their lives. I've converted it to, "I'm sorry. That fucking sucks".

I'm catching hell in rl for "it is what it is".

No one ever fucking calls anyone "The Milkman" just because they deliver. It's all just a bunch of BS.

Asking me to pray for anything. I am tired of explaining that I don't pray but I will be happy to hope really hard because it will achieve the same effect.

I heard someone talking about this one on the radio the other day, "I'm sorry, but I just don't care." If you are sorry, then obviously you DO care.

Taking it to the next level.

I'm so over that;
That's so {insert decade};
full court press;
hail-mary pass;

(insert decade) called. It wants its (insert noun) back.

that's a good one...

There are times when these are actually appropriate.

Feb-you-airy.

Catch 22 [I have a friend that mangles it and says Catch 20] [must be his own personal version]

Holloween.

Replaced by Shallowthanksgivemass.

Head over heels. Isn't that the normal condition? Replace with ass over tea kettle.

Marco...Polo--especially inside any department store, home improvement store, shopping center, or mall.

This one is a little different, but it's a pet peeve of mine to see a warning like "Warning: Contains Fish" when I'm eating a package of smoked salmon. Or, "Caution: Contains Nuts" when I'm eating a bag of peanuts.

The allergen warnings for trace amounts of whatever are interesting. More or less admitting that they don't really know for sure what's in their kettles, tanks and shit. Hire Panzer. Trace amounts of gay culture...

Peace out ! OUT ??? WTF ???

"podcast"

"I don't like to shit where I eat."

This expression just makes me want to puke. I don't like to think about shitting & eating at the same time.

^^^Forget that, Steezo. Anyone who actually says that has already shat where they've eaten and are looking to place the blame elsewhere.

Honey badger

"NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!!"


Doucherags always say it loudly.

"Minor bug fixes." All this means is they've decided to either add more advertising to the free App on your iPhone or make the current advertising more prominent and irritating.

"Do you have a club card?"

To anyone that works/worked a boring retail job:

First thing out of a customer's mouth when they see you:

"WORKIN' HARD?!"

or

"HAVIN' FUN?"

I wish I could kill these people with my eyes.

I don't work retail, but I'd still love the power kill people with my eyes. My hands always leave bruises.

"A smile would be nice". I'm busy, faggot, and i am trying to remember ten different things.

I work in a pressure cooker environment, but I'm never too busy to say "please" or "thank you" to a co worker. And I expect the same. I'm more than willing to bring everyone to the ground with a "please would be nice". Ironic to use rudeness to counteract courseness.