I don't believe that Courtney killed him, other than just being another brick in the wall, so to speak.

You never know what really goes on in someone's head, even though he left lots of writings. But the kid never stood a chance. A family decimated by alcohol, abuse, drugs, divorce, mental illness and suicide. Busting your ass for stardom, because money and fame will fix everything...but it doesn't. Being the source of the income of however many people. The constant wonder of who of your friends is really a friend now. Being stuck in a really fucked up marriage with someone who he was very obviously deeply in love with, but who he had to have known was extremely toxic. Throw a new baby with this toxic woman into the mix. Throw in an addiction that he knew was out of control. Throw in the shame and self loathing that comes with that. Throw in an unending, unexplainable stomach pain that had to not only be pretty excruciating, but at the same time making him wonder what kind of cancer or tumor was eating him up. Throw all this on a kid who was already prone to depression. All being played out in front of the camera's unblinking eye. It's easy to say he was rich, should've walked away, whatever. At the end of the day, some people are just not strong enough to handle it.

I've been to the point of just wanting out. Many times. There's nothing romantic, nothing funny, nothing that should make teenage girls carve your name into their arms. Just pain and hopelessness that makes the abyss look like the only solution.

I remember the Rooney thing. It bothered me because he had the attitude of "just get over it". For some people it's just not easy. And people telling you to just get over it adds to the shame and self loathing. "It sounds so easy, why can't I just get over it? How fucked up am I?"

Well, that was a shiny happy rant. Fuck.