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#532168 - 10/20/11 11:23 AM Dave's Old Porn
tattypatty Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 7599
Loc: a site known for its tolerance...
Anyone seen this? he is a great comic btw...

http://davesoldporn.com/
_________________________
"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock

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#532193 - 10/21/11 01:34 AM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Claude Goddard Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 06/16/07
Posts: 2512
Loc: Slumberland
Looks awesome.

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#532224 - 10/21/11 09:01 AM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
backdoorman Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
Now if I can just remember to watch !
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !

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#532231 - 10/21/11 12:28 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
I really liked that show he did on Comedy Central about being up all night. So I'll give this a chance.

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#532289 - 10/22/11 09:26 AM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Me too. He's got a good enough pedigree from that to give this a try.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#532299 - 10/22/11 11:49 AM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: Barry the Pirate]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
I liked Dave Attell (as always) but I will stand by my original opinion on Whitney Cummings: SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRANNY AND IS NOT FUNNY EVER! It was painful to watch her on that show (or in anything).

Dave tried real hard to set her up with lobs so she could hit it out of the park, but she kept striking out. So hopefully next week will be much better.
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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#532305 - 10/22/11 12:26 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Her sit com is tough to sit through. From the front, she don't look bad. When she turns side ways, you realize she's a bag of bones. The blonde alkie on her show needs to ease off the gym, she got man arms.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#532311 - 10/22/11 12:45 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: Kingfish]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
Originally Posted By: Kingfish
I liked Dave Attell (as always) but I will stand by my original opinion on Whitney Cummings: SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRANNY AND IS NOT FUNNY EVER! It was painful to watch her on that show (or in anything).

Dave tried real hard to set her up with lobs so she could hit it out of the park, but she kept striking out. So hopefully next week will be much better.
for the longest time i thought she was a tranny.the constant jokes about her having a dick didnt help much either.
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

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#532316 - 10/22/11 01:28 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: Kingfish]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Originally Posted By: Kingfish
I liked Dave Attell (as always) but I will stand by my original opinion on Whitney Cummings: SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRANNY AND IS NOT FUNNY EVER! It was painful to watch her on that show (or in anything).

Dave tried real hard to set her up with lobs so she could hit it out of the park, but she kept striking out. So hopefully next week will be much better.


agreed... dave is pretty good. and i think like 6 months ago i asked either ryan or elabo or both what they thought if dave had a daughter named jennifer. i got nothin on that one.

whitneys no fan of porn...
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#536659 - 12/11/11 03:05 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: LouCypher]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
Now that the first season is over, what did you guys think of it?

I thought the best episode was with Bill Burr and Nina Hartley, I actually watched it a second time. Bill Burr and Dave were both very funny. Nina Hartley is still looking pretty good and she seemed to roll with the jokes and was a lot of fun.

Second best episode. Adam Corolla & Georgina Spelvin. Adam and Dave played well off of each other. Georgina reminds me of a sassy grandmother who has no social filter anymore and says whatever is on her mind with entertaining results.

Third best episode: Belladonna, Bobbi Starr and Kristina Rose. I though Bobbi Starr was entertaining, Belladonna was OK and Kristina Rose seemed lost.

The worst episodes: Whitney Cummings and Ron Jeremy. Whitney Cummings is horrible as always. One would think she fucked her way into network TV, but what executive in his right mind would do that? I am so tired of seeing attention whore Ron Jeremy that I hope he starts suffering from Tay-Sachs and is sidelined permanently and we never have to listen his bad jokes and puns again; which are very similar in nature to those inflicted on us daily by our very own Brendan.

Greg Fitzsimmons and Sharon Kane. A creepy, unfunny "comedian" who seems like he would be the first person the police would arrest if a child goes missing or is molested. Sharon Kane, in the clips is very hot, but 30 years is ten lifetimes in porn. She seemed catatonic and appeared to be about a half a beat behind the conversation.

Chelsea Handler and the Sklar Bros. Chelsea did fuck her way into cable TV (see Ted Harbert) and foisted Whitney Cummings onto the world. She will be made to answer for that crime some day. The Sklar Brothers appear everywhere without any apparent talent. Perhaps the Secret Society of Show Business Hebrews is as fascinated with Jewish twins as Josef Mengele was.

The Margart Cho episode could have been good. She seemed game and was funny, except that anchor known as Paul Thomas sank the episode. What is with that dude, I wanted to punch him throughout the whole episode. So he didn't get to be king of the Great White Way and the West End playing serious drama and instead became a 1970s smut actor and then a horrible director of mediocre porn. Porn kept you employed and bought you a house in Venice when they were cheap, quit yer fuckin' griping.

Jim Norton and Seka. Jim Norton is someone I find less entertaining as the years wear on. "I am a shaved-head creep, I jerk off to sick shit," we get it Jim. Lucky for you, Opie and Anthony put you to work, otherwise it is $300/night road gigs for you. Seka, cannot think of any movie she was in from the golden days. I think she did a bunch of loops and 50' reelers with John Holmes. If -- at gunpoint -- I had to choose her or Pamela Peaks, I choose lead in the head.
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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#536664 - 12/11/11 03:43 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
i'll catch some hate here but i think michelle/belladonna could carry her own show. if someone could only afford her wishlist "dignity" item.

norton aint all that..fitzsimmons just sucks and ron is the prototype stunt cock..that is he's fucken unwatchable and it went downhill from there.

chelsea got paired with tools that just aren't funny.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#536666 - 12/11/11 04:11 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Only thing Craig Fitzsimmons ever said that entertained me was his story of being escorted out of the Ellen studion after Vaginfeld fired him. He was trying to keep the laptop he was issued, because it was full of barely legal asian porn.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#536667 - 12/11/11 04:15 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Seka was my first major porn crush when I could still have porn crushes. I've got them all DVR'd and have seen the Whitney Cummings one. Where the fuck did this goof come from and why is she all over my tv?
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#536678 - 12/11/11 04:48 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
With Whitney, it is the Blair Witch Project thing all over again. Pay enough people to claim she's funny and people will start to pretend she's funny, so they aren't the one that doesn't get it.

She waaaay too scrawny for as old as she is. That skinny is cute when a chick is young and you know she's gonna grow a but and tits. At her age, Crypt Keeper face is coming quick. Also, the blonde on her sitcom that plays the drunk has some horrible man arms. After the second episode, they had her in all long sleeves.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#536681 - 12/11/11 05:02 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
she gained notoriety i guess,being a panelist on chelsea lately.i guess they thought she was funny enough for her own nbc sitcom.she wasnt.neither were any of those other holiday nbc shows i watched just in the spirit of the season.

ive said this before,but fuck it ill say it again,they used to joke about her being a tranny on the show all the time and she even mentioned her balls.i actually believed them for awhile because something about her appearance and voice is just off.
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
#536689 - 12/11/11 05:37 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: frankie fatale]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
yeah chelsea has some pull now. rightfully so in my opinion.
amy schumer is so much better than whitney..

_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#536691 - 12/11/11 05:54 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: Jerkules]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
Originally Posted By: Jerkules
With Whitney, it is the Blair Witch Project thing all over again. Pay enough people to claim she's funny and people will start to pretend she's funny, so they aren't the one that doesn't get it.
I think that sums it up perfectly, Jerk. I don't know about the other towns, but here in Los Angeles, for about two or three months I couldn't escape seeing pictures of her everywhere: billboards, the sides of buses, bus shelters, every fucking where promoting that lame sitcom that I unfortunately catch the first 30 seconds of if I am not quick enough to change the channel after The Office ends.

I feel sorry for the dude who plays her boyfriend. My guess he is suffering with the cognitive dissonance of: "I'm a star of a NBC Thursday night comedy in Seinfeld's old slot but also I have to pretend I find Whitney Cummings sexually appealing and will have to make out with her in front of a studio audience with cameras recording this for all time. This is bordering on Christian XXX territory.
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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#536696 - 12/11/11 06:34 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Steezo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
Gia needs to get hired by Whitney Cummings to give her tips on how to pretend to be 28. The bitch looks like she's pushing 50.

I'm convinced Jim Norton is Don Rickles illegitimate son.

Todd Barry would have been good on this show. He hosted the AVN's the only year I went and I think he was pretty funny, but I was also super drunk.

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#536700 - 12/11/11 07:00 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Vice Admiral Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 1574
Loc: DIEGO!
Whitney Cummings is actually quite physically attractive, but the persona she has adopted as her standup character is repulsive. The writing on that show is absolutely the worst; the performances are flat. "Whitney" is completely unwatchable.

I feel sorry for that dude who plays her boyfriend as well. He's so low-energy I worry he has lupus.

Here's a tidbit: Whitney Cummings gets paid $60,000 per episode of that piece of shit. NBC gave the show a full-season, 22-episode order. So she's made $1.3 million performing on this awful sitcom. But that's not all: Whitney Cummings is credited both as writer and executive producer of her show. Ka-ching! Plus there's the executive-producer credit she's got on "2 Broke Girls". I wouldn't be surprised if she earns $3 million a year now.

Not bad for someone as unfunny as she.

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#536701 - 12/11/11 07:12 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I want to like 2 Broke Girls, cuz Kat Dennings so works for me. Terrible, just terrible. They have a horse living on the patio of their shitty NYC apartment. Fuck.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#536702 - 12/11/11 07:19 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12906
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
You seen the titty pics in my Scar Jo thread, right Barry?
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#536703 - 12/11/11 07:21 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: tattypatty]
J.B.
Unregistered


Originally Posted By: Barry the Pirate
I want to like 2 Broke Girls, cuz Kat Dennings so works for me. Terrible, just terrible. They have a horse living on the patio of their shitty NYC apartment. Fuck.



This is why I don't watch television and specifically shows about NYC. No "broke" person has a patio in NYC, to say nothing about a horse. Hell, fucking Bloomberg can barely afford to keep hios twat daughter's horse here.

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#536707 - 12/11/11 07:33 PM Re: Dave's Old Porn [Re: Steezo]
Kingfish Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 1133
Loc: The Mystic Knights of the Sea ...
Originally Posted By: Steezo
Todd Barry would have been good on this show

Todd Barry is very funny in his deadpan way. Nick DiPaolo would also be good, maybe season 2. Too bad Richard Jeni offed himself, I think he would have been very entertaining on Dave's Old Porn.
_________________________
"I'm a minor character in my own story", Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson in 24 Hour Party People

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