As soon as I put my Big Mac and iPhones down, I'm going to melt down the brass rivets on my Levis jeans and make brass knuckles out of them. Then I'm going to punch you in the face.....just like I've seen on the UFC. Then I'm going to go on TMZ and see if I am a big enough celebrity to warrant a mention. Then I'm going to try to land a Vivid sex tape deal.

Then, and only then, will I stop complaining about all the harm the US does to the world.