An absolutely masterful fake Dan Beebe Twitter meltdown.

I'M OUT. I'M NEVER COMMISSIONERING ANOTHER CONFERENCE EVER AGAIN. COLLEGE SPORTS ARE TO COLLEGE WHAT GENITAL WARTS ARE TO GENITALS

I HOPE A CLOUD OF PURE DIARRHEA OPENS UP OVER DKR AND FILLS THAT PLACE TO THE BRIM DURING YOUR NEXT GAME

I WAS READY TO NAME MY TESTICLES HOOKEM AND HORNS FOR YOU AND MAKE "TEXAS WITH A DOLLAR SIGN" THE NEW BIG 12 REALITY

MISSOURI THROWS MORE PANTIES THAN THE CROWD OF 8TH GRADERS AT A JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT AND YET NOBODY EVER PICKS THEM UP

TEXAS A&M YELL LEADERS ARE BECAUSE AGGIE IS SCARED OF WOMEN SO CONGRATULATIONS FOR BRINGING SAUDI ARABIAN CULTURE TO AMERICA YOU INBREDS

TEXAS TECH YOU LISTENED TO THAT HOOKER-SLAUGHTERING CRETIN CRAIG JAMES OVER MIKE LEACH AND FOR THAT I HOPE THE EARTH SWALLOWS YOUR CAMPUS

BAYLOR, YOU ARE A HORRIBLE LITTLE PUNK OF A SCHOOL WHO'S ONE CONGRESSMAN'S HEART ATTACK AWAY FROM BEING FORCED INTO D-II