But what specifically did your father do or fail to do that makes you seek out the approval of father figures? Did it weird you out to be bare-bottom spanked at 12 years old? Was his birds-and-bees talk a little too hands-on? Did he leave you as a small child in pursuit of a better life elsewhere with people he loved?

Or -- and brace yourself, please -- are all your attempts to be "Super" at something...ANYthing -- just a feeble attempt to hear, "Son, I'm proud of you"? Aha! That's it!