I was sick to my stomach knowing some of these men could have wives and daughters waiting for them at home. What would they think if they knew where their husband or daddy was? And what would these men do if their daughters were up there like me, drunk and high, while the producers stood by and allowed it? And I never did see any proof of their STD tests because I was too high. To this day I have no idea how 75 men could have been tested to do a porn movie with me.

After the scene ended the photographer made me take pictures with the 75 men who had just ejaculated on me while I stood there covered with their bodily fluids forcing myself to smile. I felt so gross and disgusted with myself that I couldn’t even look at the film when I was sober.