Swammmi, the English language is not your friend. In fact, you should copy the accent your co-worker Kumar has down at the 7-11 so at least you'll have some excuse for sounding like you've got a mouthful of dick.

I originally posted something asking if Swammmi's problem was related to his lack of self-confidence or the wounded narcissism of the worthless, but deleted it, since I realized that his real problem is displacement. I mean, he has no friends, which is why he calls up people half-way across the country at 4:00 am to ask how their day was--and why he says everyone here is a dangerous loner (funny how none of us have ever been accused of s----ing, innit?)

By the way, I am now in high-level negotations with famous, award-winning broadcaster Cyberstation USA to host my own show, called " Swammmi's Mammies." Swammmmi's Mammies will have nothing but the hottest chicks in the business, not that you'd know since it's radio, but you get the idea. By the end of a week I should be able to post a whole slew of Top 10 Lists and invigorate xxxporntalk with my quality, valued opinions on who's who in the biz, and who is stoned enough when I call to agree to phone up some putz in Bahstin and answer a lot of positive, respectful questions about what kind and now many objects they jam in their rectum.