I am half-way through a seemingly unproductive life but my personal level of relaxation and enjoyment has never been so high.

Amateur life coaches are encouraged to give their advice as to what direction I should begin the next 43 years. My interests are: travel, women, tea, chocolate-covered almonds, and documentaries.

My birthday qualifies as "Adult Industry News." I decided to spend it chilling out with a glacier. The point is I'm older and wiser now. It's time for me to share my insights and help guide future pornographers in the ways of the world.

Insight #1: Monster Hands are not needed in porn.

what about masks?they seem to work well in ggg films.

OK. The masks can stay....but you cannot take on the personality of the mask figure. ie: You can't act like a Mexican lucha libre or a werewolf. You can act like Bill Clinton. That would be hilarious. Nothing and no one else.