A buddy harassed me for like 2 weeks to go to a strip club up in Allentown called "Al's Diamond Cabaret". The place had alot of porn chicks go through there as headliners. Al's advertized on Howard Stern's show on 94 WYSP out of Philadelphia. They were really prmoting 2 porn chicks that were doing a lesbian fetish mock S&M show called "Blondage". My friend was hyped about it. Its all he talked about till I finally agreed to go. He made the thing a big fucking chore. It was like an hour drive from here and Al's was BYOB. He had a huge chest cooler of beer, snacks, an overnight bag with an emergency change of clothes and I even saw a tent in his van. He was talking about hanging out in the place till it closed which meant he wanted to spend close to 8 hours in this strip club. The whole thing just pissed me off and I regretted agreeing to go.

When we got there the place was packed. I was hating it even more. The fucking cooler he brought was so big and heavy that it took 2 of us to carry it inside. The stripper poles on the main stage were like 10 feet tall or at least seemed that way. It was the first time I went to a club like that since at that point I was used to titty bars and the couch dance parlors in philly/camden. The one thing I remember clearly about being inside the club was that between dancers 2 guys would run out on the stage to clean, disinfect and then towel dry the stripper poles. I'd never seen that before.

After 2 hours my head was pounding from the music and all the guys yelling and being loud. I still had to sit for another hour till the "Blondage" show and my friend was adamant that he wanted to stay to see it at least twice when I started talking about wanting to leave soon. I stopped drinking after a six pack so I'd be sober to drive. He was acting like the whole thing was the greatest night of his life. I was real close to bitch slapping him. There was no way I was staying till that place closed and even less that I was shelling out money for a motel room or sleeping in his van or the fucking tent he packed for the trip. The big cooler of beer he insisted on bringing attracted alot of attention and other assholes in the club who didn't bring booze or didn't bring enough started coming over trying bum beers off us.

I did eventually convince him to leave when he was shit faced, out of cash and talking about using the atm machine to get more. I ended up having to drag the cooler back out to the van with one arm while I held him up with the other as he staggered out beside me. I took his keys and drove home from allentown doing 100 mph down the PA Turnpike. When we got home I kept his car keys, locked him in the van passed out, stole all the snacks and went home to smoke pot. He was pissed at me the next day because he couldn't get into his house without keys and had a hangover. The topper was that he got so drunk he couldn't even remember seeing "Blondage".