Wet Pink Vol. 1
(Simon Wolf Uncensored) www.simonwolfproductions.com
Starring Mandy Bright, Melanie Jagger, Dominica Leoni, Brittney Skye,
Elizabeth Del Mar

From the “uncensored” wing of the top-shelf Simon Wolf camp, a production company that’s usually producing big budget, high gloss sextravaganzas for the “couples market”. Here, they eschew the plotlines and period-piece costumes, and just present wham-bam hardcore scenes culled from their other films. “All Sex-No Talk”, it proudly proclaims on the back, and brother, I think we can all relate to that notion.

Like most SW productions, this DVD is so high tech it very nearly strokes your dick for you. Every scene is presented with on-screen buttons that instantly place you exactly where you want to be in the action. Pop shot man? The goo is just a click away. Like it doggystyle? Shazam. It’s all so goddamn convenient, you may start to wonder if you really want to go through all the trouble of finding yourself a girlfriend.

My only problem with the format- and it’s the same oversight that I find in a lot of porn titles- is that it’s not readily noted just who is who here. I know, I really ought to be up on such things, but a little help couldn’t hurt. Through a ridiculous amount of Googling, I think I’ve got everybody straight.

Dark haired beauty Melanie Jagger starts things off, as she takes on a black stud in an amazingly porn set-looking king size bed, complete with leopard skin pillows. This chick has thick, pouty lips that would surely be spewing filthy words, given the chance, but this being a no-talker, she communicates mostly with a smoky, thousand yard stare and a few well-placed “Yeah Yeah Yeahs”. She has this great rapid fire masturbating move when she’s blowing the cat, and her ass is so perfectly shaped that it almost seems sacreligious when he plows it for all she’s worth at scene’s end. A nice, steamy scene.

Next up, the absolutely drop-fuckin’-dead gorgeous box cover girl Elizabeth Del Mar, who looks like the hottest, blondest co-ed at whatever party school you’re nearest to. This chick could talk you out of, or into, just about anything, I reckon. Here, she takes on a hipster dude in what looks like the bathroom of some gaudy, over-priced Las Vegas hotel room. All the positions are covered, including a killer extended anal scene. I dunno, maybe I’m just a sucker for chicks that would never fuck me in a million years, but if DelMar has a fan club, sign me up.

Big titted Jenna look-alike Brittney Skye takes on a guy with a matching armband tattoo in the next scene. Skye’s got that perfectly sleazy look you find in the entourage of rock bands with healthy cocaine appetites, and she fucks like she’s half-panicked. One probably explains the other.

Next up is Ashley Blue, a tiny, moon-faced brunette who takes on two guys at once. She’s so small, it hardly seems like a fair fight. At the end of the tussle, she gets a double shot of cream, and the camera closes up on her beatific face. She looks like some blissed-out hippy chick that just stopped a war, or something. She needs to lay off the smokes, tho. They’re tinted her teeth a very un-pornstar looking shade of ocher.

Eastern Euroslut Dominica Leoni (all these broads are wreaking havoc on my spell check with these bizarrely spelled names, by the way. It’s bringing back painful 80’s glam metal memories) is up next, and she gets furiously plowed in this scene. What can I say? The girl’s got rhythm. The fucked-up accent, noticeable even in her grunting, is outtasite, too.

Finally, undisputed sex goddess Mandy Bright brings things to a satisfying, shuddery climax with a great poolside sex scene. Watching her meaty ass get popped as she screams and writhes around like a puppy on a skewer is worth the price of admission.

All in all, a solid selection of bullshit and condom-free fuck scenes. Buy it for Mandy, build a shrine and worship it for Del Mar.
-Sleazegrinder